me first, yeah right!

my self-care is the pits. i joined the Y in the new year not as a resolution, but as a way to get my self-care started. some weeks i go more than others and then when dear hubby got laid off i felt guilty for wanting to hold onto my membership. the thing with the Y is this: it’s good for me on so many levels; it’s fantastic for my mental health, my physical health and my intellect. getting all that blood pumping and really surging into all the nooks and crannies of my body makes a world of difference. plus, it’s that always important alone time. i crank the radio and sing all the way there and all the way home, pretending i know the words to all the latest pop songs.

i have had two big ol’ surgeries this past year, four months apart. both times i was put under a general anaesthetic, which was quite stressful for my body. then, i was knocked on my butt to recover for a few weeks each time, while also caring for a baby and a toddler. it’s been tough to fit any real self-care into my life. but, after having the tumour removed from my head last november it really put things into perspective for me. i faced my mortality at the age of 31 and realized i wasn’t ready to die as i had not finished living yet. and a part of living meant putting my needs back on the priority list. so, i’ve slowly gotten myself out of the house and back into the world. luckily, i have a very supportive partner who understands this need and tries to be as accommodating as possible.

these guys are a lot of work. for me.

all that being said, sometimes it’s hard to find the motivation or the energy in the evenings to go out and exercise. and sometimes it’s not even an option. dear hubby has been doing contract computer programming work since being laid off in march, which means he is sometimes hunched over his laptop ’till the wee hours of the morning working (literally). 

the logistics of consistent self-care are difficult, practically impossible, in fact. i can’t put off dinner clean-up or vacuuming, because if i don’t do it when it needs to get done then when am i going to do it? i sure as hell am not going to leave my dinner dishes in the sink and food on the stove for the next morning. the recommendation that chores can wait, was advised by someone who is not responsible for running a household. sure laundry can wait, but only some laundry and only sometimes. if i don’t keep on it, it piles up fast and furious, creating more work for another day. and i’m not down with that!
but at least i have made myself somewhat of a priority again. i try, when i have to the opportunity, to do things that make me happy, healthy or are fun. often these activities are kidless, but as much as i love ’em i do need a break from mothering, regularly. as a stay at home mom, it’s hard to separate work from play, as playing with the kids often ends up being work, because they are still so little. i imagine that will change as they get older and gain more independence. right now, today, the key for myself is to strive for balance and not let one part of my life dominate the rest.


xo, mama lola
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