my worst hour.

we had a terrible hour on tuesday between 11:45am-12:45pm. we were visiting my folks in the big city and all i had to do was walk to the subway station and pick-up a set of car keys from dear hubby. he was working in the city that day. the walk to the station is 10 minutes max for an adult. i had carelessly left my keys back home (an hours drive), and i couldn’t get into the car. dear hubby was taking his lunch hour to get on the subway and bring me the keys.


all bear had to do was put on his sandals, so we could walk to the station and get the keys. lion was in the sling and my mom was ready to go. but, bear wouldn’t put on his sandals and when i finally got them on his feet he ripped them off. with the clock ticking and the sun beating down on us, i grabbed bear by the hand and set off to the subway. he screamed and cried and tried to keep up in his bare feet.

when we finally reached the station things went from bad to worse in a millisecond. my mom took lion and bear was completely out of control. people stared and two kind people asked if i needed help or water. they were so gentle and understanding and nodded knowingly when i said he was three and explained was over tired. i just sat there trying to hold him and kept whispering that i loved him into his ear.

dear hubby was 20 minutes late. of course! when i saw him i just grabbed the keys and got the hell outta there! as we started back to the house, bear in my arms, lion in my mom’s everyone began to calm down. bear was finally able to catch his breath after almost an hour of screaming. back at the house i sat in my mom’s rocking chair, held my two boys and felt the exhaustion enter my body in waves. bear drank some water and then walked in to my parents’ tv room and fell asleep on the floor. just like that. he slept there for two hours!
he’s getting more confident on his bike; way to ride dude!

i am not sharing this parenting disaster story as way to seek pity, but as a way to normalize these awful minutes, hours or days that happen with our kids. bear and i are going through a rough time and i am desperately searching for something to help resolve this family crisis of sorts. we are beyond consistency and expectations, although i do believe in those, but i feel like we are even more derailed than that. i am more lost than i initially understood or wanted to admit. all of that being said, i do believe we can find our way again, especially with lots of love and maybe some more self care on my part.


i’m back to reading and re-reading some parenting books i enjoy. i have also received some recommendations, which i will look into- thanks!

we went and saw “bob the builder” do a free show in the big city after the screaming fiasco. bear was excited during the show, but terrified to meet him afterwards. can’t really blame the kid, look how big bob’s head is! later bear told me bob has soft hands.

happy long weekend my fellow cannucks! see you on the other side!

xo, mama lola
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Comments

  1. says

    wow! i have been through this experience sooo many times! different places and kid but the same feelings of failure and frustration. liam once kicked an old lady at the bus stop in the calf because she scolded him.

    it gets better. 🙂 i promise.

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