bursting with pride.

sometimes i find myself bursting with pride for my kids. sometimes they say or do things that blow my mind and leave me in awe. sometimes they are thoughtful and sympathetic and sometimes they behave exceptionally in overwhelming situations. 

at our house bear and lion are on an upward climb on the developmental ladder. lion is walking so well, and able to climb on and off all sorts of obstacles. he is jabbering a lot and i have heard a few words too, like daddy, äiti and up.he is able to communicate more with incessant pointing and squeaking, which is annoying, yes, but usually gets his needs met. he is also sleeping well in the night and in the morning he climbs out of his own bottom bunk walks down the hall to my room and wakes me so i can pick him up for a morning nurse and cuddle session. it is sweet and lovely.
bear drew a picture of bubba and blake for their birthday picture.
he also coloured the yellow hearts. our little picasso.
bear’s vocabulary is booming. today he asked what “adiculous” (ridiculous) meant. he often places an “A” sound at the beginning of words. he is also able to verbalize consequences to actions in a way that i turn around and ask “who told you that?” and he often says “me, i did”. little smarty pants! his memory in frighteningly sharp and he can easily tell me what he wore to so and so’s birthday party or if i promised some specific food for after ballet, days earlier. he remembers who gifted him what and when. 
my kids aren’t geniuses or ahead of the norms, but as their mama i am currently bursting with pride as i watch them grow out of babyhood into toddlerhood and from toddlerhood into kidhood. 

i am understanding the bitter-sweetness of motherhood as my little guys grow. our youngest is not a baby any more, so ideas and thoughts about a third have been dancing in my head a lot lately and this is the conclusion i have come to. at this time i am 32, half done my women’s studies degree and so i have decided to be selfish and take the next few years and focus on finishing my degree. i want to complete it so desperately and was on a roll two years ago, but then i shockingly got pregnant and then even more shockingly discovered my tumour, so my degree got put on hold. now i am healthy and my kids are bigger and i want to at least get the school ball rolling again in january. fingers crossed!

my hope is that my kids one day look back on their childhood and feel that tingly sensation for me. i want them to recognize the sacrifices i made for them and the success that ultimately evolved from them for them and for me. i want them to burst with pride.

xo, mama lola
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