better than 3.

those of you who have been reading this blog regularly, know that i have had a difficult year with my three year old, bear. it feels as though we have been fighting about everything, living in tension and struggling through the simplest of daily tasks.

just before christmas a shift occurred and things changed at our house. a wave of joy and calm rode in, which i initially thought was santa related, but the joy has stayed (with the exception of the christmas rage). the delightful 2 year old bear i knew and loved a while back has returned and is here to stay. today he is an articulate, funny, artistic and curious almost 4 year old, however. we have bid farewell to the three year old boy who brought with him such fight.

looking back, while we were in the throws of three, i never thought it would end. the endless friction was exhausting and ate away at my self. i felt like a failure, constantly overwhelmed by tremendous feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

although i suspect i will never be a truly confident mother, i hope i will take strength away from this last year. i have no idea what the future ages and stages of development will bring, but i think we will survive. 

our lion will one day be three, but i don’t think it’ll be quite as difficult with him. i don’t want to sound cocky, but i have few more notches in the ol’ mothering belt and experience has taught me greatly. plus, the logistics of our family will be quite different. 

when lion is three, bear will be a fulltime student in school and lion himself will be in preschool, meaning i will have time FOR MYSELF! dare i even say this?!? i will have time to properly re-charge my batteries, so that when those power struggles present themselves i will be calmer, better rested and also hopefully more rational as a result.

meow, kitties.
happy midweek everyone!

xo, mama lola
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