tomboy.

last night dear hubby and i had a midweek date night instead of having the usual friday night date. my MIL law stayed with the boys, while dear hubby and i went out for delicious indian food and an impromptu movie. we saw this:

“tomboy” is a french movie, set in an unknown town in france and revolves around a family and the summer adventures the kids get into. it is a movie that explores the assumptions we as adults, as parents, make about our children’s gender based on their sex; about the importance we place on being female/male, girl/boy and how those ideas trickle down to the younger generation. but, as heavy and complex as the subject matter of gender identity is, this movie was light and subtle in its presentation and exploration of the issue. it was honest and beautiful, but not in a typical tear jerky way, but rather a raw depiction of how it might feel or look like for a kid to question themselves and their gender.

i loved it. i was surprised at the direction it took and would recommend everyone to go out and see it. for local peeps, it’s playing downtown at the bookshelf. get some popcorn and coffee, sit back and enjoy.

and speaking of gender…
as a mama to two male children i try very hard not to impose too many male stereotypes on them. what does it matter if they wear rubber boots with flowers, what does it matter if they wear pink undies or tights, what does it matter if we paint our nails together or put barrettes in each others hair, why does anyone care if my kids have bed sheets with pink hearts on them or bows on their clothes? 
bear, june 2010.
bear, march 2010.
are these external choices of mine going to define their identity, absolutely not. am i making my kids gay? absolutely not. but i know what people think when they see us stomping down the street. for now, bear and lion are oblivious, but one day they will feel people’s judgmental eyes on them. once, a kid randomly asked bear if he was girl or a boy, because of his flowery boots. i was shocked, but bear was cool and said he was a boy. it is astonishing that the colour of one’s boots is what we use to classify people. 
lion in pink, july 2011.

i could rant on about this topic, as it really gets my blood boiling. i will stop. but, just listen to yourself and see how many times a day you say gender loaded things like “good boy/ girl”, “beautiful, lovely, sweet girl”, “handsome, tough, smart boy”. we are so programmed to describe our kids with very specific words. i know i am always catching myself too.

axl rose, of Gn’R.
happy thusday to everyone, no matter how you identify, cuz i don’t give a rat’s ass!
xo, mama lola
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