augh.
monday’s are a long day for me. i parent alone all day, from sunrise to sunset, until dear hubby gets home after eight o’clock.


today started off so great. with a dramatic drop in temperatures a park play date was moved to our house. it was -3c today and after the high teens and low +20c’s last week it felt shockingly cold! so i ran around cleaning and vacuuming before everyone showed up. the kids had a great time and us MAMA’s had a chance to chat and drink coffee. it was a wonderful way to start the day and the week.


after everyone left, lion went down for a nap, i chatted on the phone (for what we call half time) with a dear friend and bear watched a DVD. once lion came down from his nap, a couple of hours later, the kids played and snacked and we had a quiet afternoon…


until, just before i started to make dinner things turned. dramatically and quickly. bear became frustrated with a maze in his activity book and started to crumple some pages and cried and cried. i tried to calm him down, but i was also making dinner so it was tough. dinner was fast to make; a veg stir fry with tofu and rice.

[ cut tofu into shape desired. ]

[ toss into a ziplock bag with tamari sauce (soy sauce). we use the tamari as it’s gluten free and generally healthier with less sodium and it’s organic.]

then, at the dinner table both boys refused to eat. they both stuck their tongues out and complained the food was disgusting. this is where things went downhill fast, and i know it’s my fault. but, i was tired and hungry and fed up with the rudeness so i got mad, got the kids into their pj’s and had them lie in bed until 7pm. they complied, shockingly, and it was kinda what we all needed. i have a feeling they complied because they’ve had some new pj’s and cozy clothes to snuggle into, lion regularly wears his new onesie and he often goes around to fistbump us all, as that’s his favorite part of the movie (his onesie is one of the main characters and his favorite!). some silence and stillness. eventually we got on speaking terms again and bear complained about being hungry so i let the boys have a second chance at dinner. bear ate like a bear, but lion still refused to eat.

[ leave tofu marinating for a at least 10 minutes, tossing the chunks around every so often. ]

[ my secret ingredient in stir-fries. ]

anyhow. the boys were asleep by 7:45pm, which is kinda late for them, but i feel like i did the right thing letting them eat rather than starve all night. both boys also had a little bit of apple sauce before heading to bed.


i hate it when i lose my shit. i really do. my heart crumbles and i feel like the worst mother around. i know all parents and caregivers lose their cool, but i feel such shame and guilt for my own behaviour.
augh.

[ dinner is served in my lovely teema bowls. does not look disgusting to me, what do you think? ]

hope your monday ended better than mine.
here’s hoping tomorrow will bring with it some peace.


g’night.