i know i said i would fill you in on the brain tumour support group sooner, but truth be told, i had some processing to do. it was a heavy two hours.

because, the meeting was held on the monday of a long weekend, there was a small group of us. the group included tumour survivors, parents of kids living with tumours, partners of survivors and two facilitators. it was hard to hear from the mix of people, as their perspectives and situations are so different from mine. hard, because we’re talking brain tumours. sometimes cancerous.
as with anything, no two brain tumour experiences are the same.

listening to the honest accounts of the heartaches others are living with was heavy to hear. it was impossible not to take these stories and package them tightly and slip them into my heart. there they sit, not because i feel pity, but because i finally do not feel completely alone on this road. although, nobody else at the group was pregnant when they were diagnosed, or had any of the complications we endured from my tumour, but it’s not about the specifics that matter, it’s about having something that unites us: BRAIN TUMOURS. 

it sounds depressing to say that, but i actually feel comforted. all this time i had no one really to unburden my reality to; yes, i have amazing friends who have always provided shoulders to cry on and have listened to the myriad of anxieties i have felt, but i’m always worried people are sick of hearing about the tumour. especially now that my tumour is gone and i’m feeling so much better. although i feel great physically, emotionally i am still quite shaky at times. every little twinge or pain anywhere in or on my head instantly has me worried the tumour has grown back. if i feel particularly tired or extremely hungry i wonder if the tumour is back. 
when i look at my lion i am reminded of the tumour. of his frightening birth.
feel the stress.
the worry sits there. 
always.
and it’s heavy.
these are the things that are hard to share with my friends and family. now, i feel fortunate to have this group to shed some of my worries with.

 [ from HERE. ]

today i stressed about MRI and blood work requisitions being lost. i was made to feel like a complete loser by a receptionist, but in my own defence i received these papers 6 months ago. anyhow, i did eventually find them in the basement, in last years day planner!
phew! close one.
see, tumour stress is always on my radar for some reason or another!

happy hump day folks!
what stressed you out today?