bear has been attending a summer day camp this week. leading up to this week i knew the morning drop-offs would be difficult, but i didn’t realize they would be as extreme as they have been. 
on monday morning bear was screaming and crying on our way to the car from our house. the few steps it takes to walk to the driveway were stressful and full of “i don’t wanna go’s”. at camp i had to drag him to the school door, while carrying lion and trying to say hello to the camp staff. it was one of those moments where i just wanted to scoop up the kids and run and hide but, since that wasn’t going to happen, i brought bear inside as he was still crying, and tried to introduce him to the terrified looking staff. i tried to get him involved in an activity and i tried to hang up his bag. but he had none of it.


eventually i just left. at his preschool the motto was “a quick good-bye and a long hello”, which worked well there with two educated teachers who expected upset kids in the first few weeks of school. but, this camp is run by a small neighbourhood group, with one adult and a handful of teens running the day to day, who are great, but ill equipped to deal with the anxiety bear presented with.


on monday when i got outside from leaving my screaming bear with a bunch of strangers, i myself, burst into a heavy sob of tears. the whole drop off process was incredibly stressful, upsetting and i was so on edge. i phoned dear hubby and he said he would do the drop off the following day. fine.
then some other mama’s came out and calmed me down and brought me back to reality. gotta love the mama support!!!
at the end of the day at pick up he was delighted to see me and told me had had a great time with his friends. phew! maybe this was going to be ok, i thought.


so, tuesday dear hubby dropped bear off at camp. there was some protesting at home, but really compared to monday it was easy as pie. and apparently at the camp, he was clingy, but didn’t cry and eventually let go of dad.


then on wednesday i was feeling hopeful (silly me) that things would be better as it was my turn to do camp drop off again. but no. bear cried and carried on and on at camp. eventually, again, i left feeling terrible and feeling the weight of the guilt draped over my shoulders and again wanted to run and hide under a rock.
maybe i was all wrong; maybe bear really wasn’t ready for camp and maybe i should have just kept him at home. i hated the looks the other parents were giving me and i hated being labelled “that mom” or “that crying kids mom”. not that anyone was saying anything bad, but when your kid is the only one freaking out, it just kinda happens!


today, thursday, the plan at camp was to take the kids on a city bus to the art factory (where we went with friends, see pics HERE). bear was super excited about going on a bus and since it was dear hubby’s turn to do drop off again, i sat at home waiting anxiously to hear what happened. when dear hubby phoned, he said in a very smug voice that there were no tears and no clingyness and bear was fine. i was so relieved to hear my guy was fine, but was so mad at dear hubby for his smug tone on the phone. i ended the call quickly! ha! 


tomorrow is bear’s last day of camp and he sounds pretty excited about going. he is happy he gets to bring home the tie dye pillow case he made, the fish he crafted and who knows what else! i am glad the camp week is coming to a close, because the stress of it has been too much for me!
phew. we survived, but barely.
serenity now.


i have no pictures from this week. i wanted to get pictures from camp, but for obvious reasons was not able to get my camera out. so it goes.


peace.