i’m reading this amazing parenting book right now, by barbara coloroso called kids are worth it. i may have talked about this book before, but i’m reading it and have been having some pretty serious (as oprah would say) A-HA moments.
the kids and i have been on a pretty smooth groove recently (knock on wood), but i think this is the perfect time to be learning about how to be a more consistent parent. coloroso’s ideas and suggestions realistically are nothing new, but she really emphasizes parenting in a way that does not attack or minimize a child’s dignity, but instead supports mutual respect. as followers of the attachment parenting philosophy, coloroso’s suggestions go right along with those values.
she is strongly opposed to rewards and bribery, which i know is way of parenting we’ve all fallen back on. i know we have. but, when she delves into why it’s not an effective way to parent, it has made me tweak my methods at home.
for example, lion is potty training and has pooped and peed in the potty without any incentives other than a few kind praises from us and cheer or two. he has not received any candy or stickers or treats of any kind. he’s learning to use the potty without bribery or rewards; so different from how bear learned. it’s been an easier process, one with less power struggles and fighting, he’s doing it, because he realizes it’s time to learn. we have walked by the potty only to discover it has pee in it, which means lion (who turned two on sunday) has been going independently!
i am also trying to teach bear that some things he has to do, for the only reason that it just has to be done. things like tidying up toys or other messes, doing things to help out when asked; there are no rewards, no treats, no gushing mama showering him with empty compliments. and it too is working. it’s kind of amazing!
i would recommend this book to all parents. doesn’t matter if you follow attachment parenting or not. we all sometimes need to be inspired on this rocky road of parenting!
saw this lovely sun dial at the university’s arboretum.
we’re going camping today. looking forward to it and counting down to take off!
what are you up to this weekend?