there is a new trend out there, the just call me a MILF trend. for me, the trend is most obvious on twitter, where young mothers label themselves as such. i assume they do it in the hopes of sounding cool, pretty, sexy, desirable and worth following.
to call one’s self a MILF (mom i‘d like to f*ck) is so degrading and so demeaning; i think is just sad. the term has been around for decades, but blew up into mainstream popularity with the movie “american pie” in 1999. one of the teen guys used the term to describe the mother of a friend. i suppose in our twisted culture, the idea that young boys would like to f*ck us, us being mom’s, is supposed to be a compliment (?). it’s as if they’re doing us mum’s a favour for liking us, thinking we are attractive and worth fucking.
we know mothers aren’t presented or viewed as desirable beings in the media or society. and this is where things get confusing for me because, on one hand women in general are not appreciated as sexual beings with desires and needs of their own. but, on the other hand they are hyper-sexualized in the media. you know, the image of a young, thin woman wearing skimpy clothes with enhanced breasts, possibly pouting or licking or lips simply created to satisfy the needs men. this is why i suppose, breastfeeding women are perceived as committing a sexual act, because we have completely chopped up the female form, sexualizing pieces of her, instead of the whole of her. some believe breasts are for sex and sex only, so the act of a mother caring, nurturing and feeding her child has become so warped and twisted.
and, mothers are certainly the most de-sexualized people ever; we are women who feed, bathe, clothe and care for others without usually meeting our own needs, never mind meeting our sexual needs or ever even speaking about them. mothers are typically described as dowdy, frumpy women, with certain hair cuts and who drive a minivan; hello soccer mom; rushing around making sure their kids and partners are taken care of. mothers are not supposed to be sexual, erotic or never mind kinky, and they certainly are not be opinionated about their needs. specifically their sexual needs.
i mean, how many episodes did oprah do on women’s sexuality, women faking it for men and what have you?
a fiction trilogy came out a while back, and out of curiosity i read the first book in the series. big mistake! i was so dismayed by the terrible, boring writing, sexist character development and portrayal, but mostly the non-titillating predictable sex scenes! the books received an outrageous amount attention and were sold as “mommy-porn”.
um, WAIT, WHAT?
first off there is a difference between pornography and erotica, which this book was so desperately trying to be. erotica is defined as being literature or art that is intended to arouse sexual feelings. pornography is printed or visual description containing the explicit description of sexual organs or activity.
well, the descriptions in the books were immature, distasteful and at times embarrassing to read! was this book seriously intended for grown women?!
but, what really upset me about this shady trilogy was the way the media marketed this series as some kind of sexual bible, attempting to provide permission to women/ moms to have sexual fantasies. as if women and mothers need the permission of some patriarchal publishing company to dictate to us what we should want.
the entire story is based on a relationship of a rich, older, powerful white male who dominates a young, naive, sexually inexperienced, woman in all areas of her life. blah, please, you couldn’t up with a more interesting pairing, perhaps one that is less sexist?! the reality is, this book is not the fantasy of most grown women!
|[ a mama & child. love.
i’ve gone on a bit of a tangent, but my point in all of this is… people are sexual beings. moms included. and being sexual doesn’t mean labelling yourself with a name that is sexist, degrading and demeaning.
if one day a friend of my son’s calls me a MILF, (s)he better watch out, because they will get an earful from me. actually, hopefully they will get the earful from one of my sons!
|quote from lil’luna|