am i taken for granted? a mama vent.

as a stay-at-home-mum, i do a lot of stuff for other people. my days start early with thoughts of getting kids to school, what to make for dinner, how to dress my boys, remembering their vitamins and signing whatever form school sent home.

then, at school i kiss my eldest for the day and depending on if it’s monday or tuesday or wednesday or… well, you get the idea, i go grocery shopping, drop my youngest off at preschool, organize playdates, do laundry, wash floors, mend torn pants, make halloween costumes, or i think in detail what any of us may need depending on the season in regards to winter clothing, summer clothing, i book dental appointments, optometrist appointments, doctors appointments.

just a little humour from pinterest!


and, where do i fit into all of this?
who takes care of me? who reminds me of my appointments, who asks me if i need new winter boots and then buys the for me?

there are days when i feel as though i am empty. as though i have given the last morsel of myself to my family. and, i don’t actually mind feeling empty and exhausted from giving, because i have chosen this role for myself. but, i am hurt by the lack of acknowledgement, gratitude and attention my continue efforts are rewarded. i am not asking for a parade, or gifts, but i do expect a simple thank-you, a hug or a nod in my direction. the thank-you’s and hugs are what re-charge myΒ batteriesΒ and inspire me to do more. but, when i am continually what feels like ignored, i become filled with resentment.

clearly, i am feeling taken for granted as i write this.
i know my family isn’t hurting me on purpose.Β 
i know they love me with all of their hearts. they just forget to mention that they appreciate their dinners made from scratch, clean n’ fresh undies and my undivided attention.
i have not lost perspective.
i just need to vent.


thanks for listening.

xo, mama lola
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Comments

  1. says

    Awwww, I’ve had moments like that. It’s not like a paid “job” where at least you get some money out of all the effort (which makes the lack of recognition that much hard to deal with).

    I hope you get the hug and encouragement you need and deserve right now.

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

  2. says

    You don’ t have to feel like that you are doing something here that’s only yours ;THIS BLOG, and it should make you feel good. For the rest of it I call that routine and everybody in this world is attach to it one way or the other!. have a great day!

  3. says

    I feel you. I totally get this. Sometimes I wish dinner would be planned and made, the toilets cleaned, laundry done, all without me having to do it or ask for it to be done. Just once.

  4. says

    Been there. Many, many times. There’s a great e-card I once read that said “You know you’re a mom when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation”. This is why I keep my gym membership – it’s my one hour a day of me time.

  5. says

    I feel you, mama! You’re so right, acknowledgement would do the trick if it happened more often. πŸ™‚ I, for one, think you’re doing an amazing job.

  6. says

    I just read this post, and the one a week ago about feeling so tired, and it sounds a lot like what I’ve been going through recently as well. I had a good talk with a friend about it a few days ago, and a couple things that really helped me was a) resolving to forgive myself for being tired and grumpy and worn out, and b) finding ways to make time for ME. It’s so easy when you’re running a household and trying to take care of everyone else, to forget to take care of yourself. But that NEEDS to happen. You need your cup filled so you can give of yourself to others. I hope you can figure out a way to do that, ask for help (from husband, family if you have some nearby, hiring some help, whatever…) and carve out some time for yourself, to do things you enjoy. You deserve it!

    • says

      thanks, marcy! this passed year i have gotten much better at just taking time for myself away from my family. it’s great for recharging my batteries. but, i still would like a little credit for the work i do, a quick pat on the back!

  7. says

    Sigh. I hear you. It’s a continual battle around here. Usually I’m fine for a while and then I have a melt down and they pay attention for a day or so, and then it’s back to normal. All I can say is that at some level I think my kids really do appreciate things as they get older, and you do get some flashes of gratitude sometime. But it can be a very thankless job. I have started making sure to do things for myself and put a little more priority on me. Hang in there, and vent with us if you need to. I think all mothers understand.

    • says

      thanks, dani. i agree, i think as the kid get older things will keep shifting and they will acknowledge things on their own. i wish my DH would acknowledge my efforts more, ya know?

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