a new year.

i am a little late in sharing about what this new year means to me. i’m late to the game, because i can’t actually decide what i want this new chapter to look or feel like. i’ve been really trying to think of resolutions that i should make and try to keep, but nothing really feels sincere. in years passed i have tried to really make my own needs a priority, which now that the kids are bigger is just happening. all i can say is, i want to be stronger emotionally, which as a resolution will be almost impossible to measure. does that matter?

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as humans, we are all in a steady flow of change; we are always evolving, gaining strengths, acquiring knowledge, and moving forward. knowing this helps me move on from the burdens of my past and try to maintain a flow towards more positive thinking and living. my ego and esteem have taken a heavy beating, and coming out of that is much harder than i thought it would be. i am always second guessing myself, and i find it difficult to truly like myself. self-doubt has been eating away at me for far too long.

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lucky for me, i have wonderful love in my life. i have people in my village who accept my weaknesses and do not judge me. and honestly, if they do, well, i can’t really do anything about that. i will continue to try to hold my chin up as they say and move on. i have a pretty good life, and i know this. so, i am going to try to control my anxiety, my self doubt and not let these parts of my self control my life.

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source

i am going to try new things even it scares me, reach further out of my comfort zone and accept who i am.

once and for all.

xo, mama lola
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Comments

  1. says

    What a lovely heartfelt post…I think it’s so important for us to put ourselves first sometimes – we often don’t because so many people need things from us. But looking after ourselves means we can look after others better too! Good luck on your journey with this, this year!
    Jo-Anna recently posted…#TKLucky7 Voting & Prize Information!My Profile

  2. says

    Sounds like you are on track already to becoming emotionally stronger! Maybe that’s something you don’t need to measure quantitatively, but qualitatively. As you notice this theme showing up in your life, you will see that you are choosing to do things differently. I’m sure you’ll see this more and more, and that’s something you can feel really good about. I related to many of the things you said, but have never been brave enough to publish those thoughts. That’s a pretty big accomplishment already if you ask me 🙂
    Dani @ lifeovereasy recently posted…Bobby Berk Home: Having It AllMy Profile

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