nobody listens to me.

i am experiencing some mama-rage and need to vent…

so, i think my family is somehow confused, because when i speak, instead of pausing whatever it is they are doing, they walk away, talk over me, start another conversation with another member of our family, start singing, fall asleep, or just blatantly ignore me. the continued lack of listening is starting to really wear me down. i mean sure, not everything i say is interesting or funny, but maybe if i wasn’t always repeating myself a hundred million times a day, then i’d have time and the brain capacity to be hilarious, ya know? every day my kids and i go through the same motions when getting ready for school. every day the volume increases at the same points and every morning i list off the things they have to get done; brush teeth, get your boots on, get your backpack, stop fighting with you brother…

this astounds me, i mean c’mon, how is this my life?

quote36

i am not quite the mother i always dreamed i would be. but, in my own defense, my kids aren’t quite the way i had fantasized either. in all honesty, in my pre-mothering days, i thought my kids would be better at listening to me, but to my utter dismay, i am a mama who has to raise her voice in order to see results happen around this house. and let me clarify, it’s not as though i raise my voice and say “get your outside stuff on” and then the kids do it. no, no, i have to crank the volume of my voice and hit repeat; i say the same $hit to them over and over again, until i feel like i am going to explode. it seems to only be getting wore with age… gah!!!

and, my sweet DH? well, some days he’s not any better…

please, PUH-lease tell me i am not alone in this…

xo, mama lola
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Comments

  1. says

    Awww, sounds rough. I get that sometimes. I have picture cues for routine stuff… hand to the child and they know what to do (i.e. first picture – brush teeth, second picture – make bed, third picture – get dressed). it’s great for those repetitious routines… then your words and voices are saved for things that “matter” a little bit more.

    As for the hubs… hmm, I have no idea. Most of the time I think my husband isn’t listening to me but when I call him on it, he know EVERY single thing I said… and that drives me crazy.

    Hugs.
    xoxo
    Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…The Seventh AnniversaryMy Profile

  2. Charlie G says

    I find there are really two keys to getting a little one or a husband to listen.
    1) Make sure you have their attention and they have yours. If your kids or DH are busy doing an activity then you need to ask them to pause and listen. It also means that you can’t talk to them while doing 7 different things because you may miss their response. If you do that a few times than the kids and DH will get it in their heads that they don’t need to listen to you because you don’t really listen for their response anyways.

    2) Make sure you do your fair share of listening as well. Little kid conversations(and heck, some spousal ones as well) can sometimes seem inane or convoluted to adults but, it pays to turn all your focus onto listening to them so that they understand what true listening really is. Another trick is to put away the compulsion to listen so that you can build a response and instead listen so that you can hear and understand their point. If you don’t quite get the point then ask some questions. It shows that you’ve been listening and again models good listening. Some people resort to shouting to get their kids to listen but, I’ve found talking quieter than normal works just as well. That way they have to strain a bit to hear you and you know that you have their attention.

    Hopefully something in those two points is poignant or useful. Take care Mama!

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