so, i’m trying to change some bad old habits and am trying to incorporate more ME time into each day. it’s hard tough. with the kids schedules of school drop offs, lunch, bum wipes and nap times and then school pick ups, meal prep, it really leaves shockingly small windows of time for me to do something for myself. i used to be able to do some things in the evenings after dear hubby got home, but now that bear is in school and our days start so early i find it harder to motivate myself to leave the house after dinner. maybe that will change once spring arrives and it’s not so dark so early.

but, i am making some progress. i am back to blogging regularly, which i really enjoy. i am spending small amounts of time out of the house, alone or with friends and i am working hard not to feel guilty about it. i know that sounds ridiculous, but i really do suffer from a serious case of mother’s guilt. i feel guilty about so many things. in fact, in a sick twist of irony i feel guilty for feeling guilty. sigh.

[ source ]

i am learning to let go.
let go expectations. those ridiculously high expectations i have. of myself.
and, i am learning to be more realistic about what i can and should do. 

i hit the gym after school drop off, and before lunch yesterday morning. it seems like it’s the optimal time to get that small task done for me. here’s hoping it becomes a new habit. it felt pretty good to do something for me, even though my stint at the Y was short and sweet. we’ll see what happens next week.

[ source ]

i am moving onward and upward in this new year. away from the hard and destructive old habits, to healthier ones. new habits are still hard, but at least i’m moving towards something positive, instead of sitting in something stagnant.

[ source ]

i love all of these quotations i found on pinterest. 
i feel like i need some positive affirmations, some positive vibes thrown my way.
a friend recommended a book to read about mothering, and guilt, and all that fun stuff.