it all began when, BAM, i was told i had a macro adenoma (a big tumour) growing on my pituitary gland; when i was popping prescription narcotics to help manage the migraines caused by the tumour, all the while mothering my sweet toddler bear and growing my little lion in my uterus; when, BAM,  i was told to throw away my dreams of a home waterbirth and plan for a ceaserian section, during which i would be completely under; when i was told my lion had had trouble breathing at birth and had to be intubated and then incubated as his lungs had serious problems; and then when our beloved family dog roo attacked a neighbour, again, and after crying for days we decided it was best to put him down; and finally (knock on wood) when just a few weeks ago my dear husband walked in the door and told me he had been laid off from his job. BAM!

our ferocious lion fighting at three days old.

sweet, sweet roo riggins. oh, how we miss you so.

the positive energy i carry in my self, hold in my soul and that rushes through my veins has been drained by all these events, but it has not disappeared completely. i consciously decided i can BAM back at life! life throws me a tumour? fine, but i’m not going to make lemonade with these sour lemons, but will throw them back at life as i don’t want remnants of bad times around. and since i received the all clear after my november surgery, all i see is a new chapter. BAM you life! this is my chance to better my life, our life, to do all the things we talked about doing, but got scared off by the risks. and when dear hubby was laid offf, well, again all i saw and continue to see is a new chapter. BAM you life! this is an opportunity for dear hubby to find a job with new challenges and perhaps take us on a family adventure. 

wedding day february 17, 2007