I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. Lately both boys have been waking up before the crack of dawn, before the sun has woken up, before it’s natural. Slowly we tromp down the stairs and munch on our cereal. The kids are fine, but I’m like a zombie barely able to keep my eyes open, blinking away the fuzzies of the night, anxiously waiting for my coffee to brew. I have thought about taking some energy supplements that can give my body that little boost to push away the fatigue, there is a total restore deal that I’ve been told about and can look at, I just don’t know yet. I’ll wait and see if my coffee needs it’s own pick me up first.
Today was a tough day for us. We were up at dawn and by the afternoon I had a pair of whiny kids on my hands. I tried to keep my cool by caffeinating myself through-out the day, maintaining my own blood sugars at a reasonable level by snacking on fruit or nuts and by ensuring the kids needs are met before the inevitable sh*t hits the fan.
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| lion ate some blue chalk. then he barfed. |
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| then he nursed. |
It’s the nonsense that is brought nightly to the dinner table, the kicking of my chair saying the food is “yucky”. It’s the daily fights that start in the morning with getting dressed, of getting teeth brushed and getting out the door on time. There’s the BS with car seats, with grabbing toys from lion’s tiny hand, with spitting and screaming in lion’s face… I could go on. you get the point.
Today I feel like I have had enough. I feel like I could walk through that door and not look back.
please don’t judge me, until you have walked a mile in my shoes or lived a day in my world.
Peace.
Ahh my dearest friend. I feel your emotion, both in your words, but in myself. Motherhood is so so challenging, and I am so glad that you have this outlet.
Oh Julia, I feel your pain!
No judgement here… except when I think that I could leave and not look back, I visualize myself leaving with a bottle of vodka;)
We”ll have to do a play date soon btw! Or drinks at the Symposium! Or Both
Love your blog by the way. You manage to eloquently describe the beauty and challenges of motherhood that we all face!
thanks to both of you for the kind words and support. it means so much to know you are there.
No judging here, I just posted an old post about these days, well weeks, on my blog. It’s an old one but felt the need to repost it. Hang in there. Soon enough they’ll be able to get their own cereal and you get more sleep.
thanks, mrs fun! things are better now, it’s been a couple of years since i posted this post. but, there are days where i re-visit this dark place.
I’ve been meaning to come by and check you out and this is the first post I read. Mama,there is not a mother out here that hasn’t felt this way. if they say they haven’t, they are lying. I’ve blogged about it too. I love this kind of honesty in blogging. It’s real. You will find no judgment from me 🙂 And I’ll definitely be back.
PS: from one toddler nursing mama to another, how bad was the blue chalk boob? 😉
thanks for stopping by, colleen. this post is an oldie, but it reminds of where we were and where we are now. life is still tough, but the battles are different!