maternity leave bye-bye’s.

June 13, 2012 by mama lola

it’s always hard to say ~~good-bye,~~ or more accurately see you later to friends when their maternity leaves come to an end and they head back to their jobs outside the home. another MAMA friend of ours went back to work at her office this week and i am left to explain to bear why he can’t see his friends as often.
we’re going to miss you MAMA j, you’re AWESOME!

it’s tough.
it’s hard, because my kids have no idea what day care is. it’s tough because my kids miss their friends and i miss mine, and we lose the weekly play date routines we have established over the past year or so. it’s so different being a stay-at-home-parent and being a stay-at-home-kid.

and finally,

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MISSe!!!

our lovely, little friend has grown into a smiley, intelligent, observant, hilarious, and loving little lady. every gal needs her own boat and sand toys! missE loved the toys and gave us her chewy, drooly approval!

i’m leaving you on this hump day with a plank off! it was a competition between dear hubby and MAMA j to see who could hold a plank the longest or at least a minute. missK was judging form and ensuring there was no cheating!

the finn in me!

June 12, 2012 by mama lola

helsinki is the world design capital for 2012.

check out THIS link for all the beautiful details. looking at the pictures from helsinki make me incredibly homesick, so much so i feel a big ol’ ache in my heart for my homeland. i was born there and spent my childhood there romping through the forests.

check out these AMAZING BLOCKS by Kokoroi & Moi.

each block represents an important and historic landmarks in helsinki. i just love the simplicity of them and the colours. so lovely, so finnish!

who will buy these for my kids?

who knew, Charlie’s Angels speak Finnish?

June 11, 2012 by mama lola

as i was perusing pinterest i came across this video below, found HERE. to me, it is one of the funniest things i have ever seen and heard! it was a well deserved chuckle, as i go in for another follow up MRI on a couple of hours. my stomach is in knots; the nerves never go away. i wish i knew what was happening in there….

wish me luck!

tumour free vibes only, please!

guns n’ boys n’ stuff.

June 10, 2012 by mama lola

what exactly does “boys will be boys” mean?
does it mean that boys have an innate tendency towards violence? because, that saying is often heard after someone sees boys playing roughly, mischievously or violently. nobody ever says the same about girls.

dear hubby and i have a rule about certain toys not being welcome in our home, basically guns and swords. Other tech play like games on the xbox and flying a drone like the ones from https://www.drdrone.ca/pages/mavic-mini, are permitted because this is harmless fun of course. But, guns scare me, a lot. and i don’t think they are an appropriate toy for my boys to play with. from all of the reading we did on this, and there is TONS of stuff out there, our decision was a natural extension of our (parenting) values. we are pacifists, our kids don’t have water guns and don’t wear anything camo; both are very conscious choices we have made for our children. My sister allows her children to use a bb gun (only when supervised), with the best shoulder holsters reviewed to help her kids understand how to handle guns safely, be it bb guns or live rounds. Her kids are a lot older than mine and I can see her point of view that it’s useful to have a bb gun for protection. We are not against pretend games or imaginative play where violence is a major player.

kids, including our boys, want to push boundaries, feel powerful, and yearn to discover their own world view, and if violence is a part of that play and exploration, i think that’s ok. I’d be somewhat of a hypocrite if I didn’t, since the older males in my life growing up always went hunting and used to look about into new equipment they could buy themselves. No doubt those same guys are probably viewing something like Dailycaller.com or the likes, to read up on some high-tech scopes and attachments for their rifles. I see the distinct difference between hunting and uneccessary violence though.

violence is every where around us. i grew up watching various BBC nature shows with david attenborough. remember those from the 80’s? he taught me that the natural world is full of violence, killing, torture and survival; good guys against the bad guys; the hunter versus the hunted. exploring one’s place in all of this is expected. right?

but, and this is a big but…
war, is not a game. it is something so awful, i don’t want my kids to ever even imagine being involved in one. guns were created with one intention in mind: to kill. that is their only purpose and that’s why we don’t allow anything resembling one in our house or in our play.

i do struggle with where to draw the line. how much violence is too much? are fingers pointed like guns and aimed at others ok, well, i’m not sure. and, how much “rough housing” should i tolerate before calling it quits?

stuff to read on this, HERE and HERE.

where do you draw the line with your kids of any gender?

[ the pictures are from our hot day at the beach today. the kids built this interesting piece of architecture with the help of some older kids they befriended. such a fun day! we’re all tired from the sun! and to end the day on a high note, lion pooped in the potty for the first time, completely on his own initially. we did have to encourage him finish the task once he had started! ]

friday, i’m in love.

June 10, 2012 by mama lola

friday afternoon bear had a quick visit to JK classroom. he was scared as we were leaving the house and was the first kid to start crying in the classroom, but according to the teacher, mademoiselle C, he was also the first to stop. by the time we showed to take him home he was busy colouring the turtle they were given as a craft.

whew.
maybe he will be ok.
i sobbed in the car. this september is going to be heartbreaking for me. the thought of missing him, brings tightness to my chest and sadness into my eyes.

anyhow, to balance out the stress of the afternoon we filled friday evening with loads of fun and wonderful family memories. because, our summer is so short and i want to make sure we take advantage of these warm dusk hours before it’s too late.

first we enjoyed a beautiful, colourful dinner outside in our backyard. we gobbled up roasted new potatoes and brussel sprouts, a tofu n’ bean scramble, and a lush garden salad with homemade croutons.

[ brussle sprouts halved, new potatoes halved, several chunks of butter
and a generous sprinkling of sea salt, baked in hot 400F over for 30-45mins.
take out of oven and mix every so often to ensure the buttery goodness is absorbed. ]

[ 1 yellow onion, 2 carrots chopped, 1/2 broccoli chopped, 2 cloves garlic, half can of black beans, half can of chick peas, 1 package of medium tofu, 1/2 tsp tumeric, 1/4 cup tamari sauce, few shakes of black pepper, fresh chives and basil leaves from the garden. all done in cast iron pan stove top, quick easy, fast. ]

[ all it is is romaine lettuce, apples, tomatoes, sun flower seeds and lotsa fresh parsley from the garden. the croutons are plain bread cut in squares and mixed with olive oil and baked in the oven for about 10-15mins
at 400F. mix ’em up every so often for a more even bake and colouring effect. ]

after dinner we drove down to the river and for some ice cream! as we sat and ate the creamy goodness, we were surrounded by tons of geese and goslings, which of course the kids were thrilled with!

then we hit the park!

run daddy, run!!!

today wasn’t half bad either, but tomorrow will be glorious! we are hitting our favourite beach for the day. oh, the sun, waves, sand and fun!

weathering the storms.

June 8, 2012 by mama lola

i have been away from my blog for a couple of days, as we are living through a bit of a parenting storm. the storms are brought on by our four year old bear, and they have made navigating the parenting adventure difficult. bear is giving us a hard time and i have been feeling super stressed, guilty and hopeless. My friend has even told me to consider growing some types of cannabis strains that she found on weed-seeds.ca to help to see if this would relieve any of my stress. She said that all you have to do is plant the seeds in your garden and just wait for them to flourish and then you can enjoy the effects it has once it has fully grown. I’m not sure though, just because it works for her, it doesn’t mean that it will work for me. Anyway, I need to do or take something to help with my stress now as the kids are driving me bananas. I’m sure this method is as effective as they say as that said friend even takes cannabis on a regular basis. Just the other day, she decided to make her own homemade bong as she had lost hers and smoked the product through there instead and she said that she was stress-free in no time. So maybe I should give it a go?

[ a big storm rolled in with lots of rain, hail and massive, loud thunder. we watched the rain in awe. ]

because, bear is our first born he is the one who presents us with these new parenting challenges. how to overcome sleep deprivation was one of the first challenges he threw our way… and I don’t even think we’ve mastered that now. using the likes of Nutra CBD olie would’ve definitely been a good idea to help with my stress, but back then, I definitely should’ve used it to help with my insomnia because we were just getting no sleep at all. although, he got away with this because he was just so cute. however, as he reaches new milestones or turns a new number we are always faced with unknown parenting territory. lately, bear has been extra whiny, but he has completely stopped listening to anything that i say. the simplest task seems to turn into a power struggle and it makes our days unpleasant. i have been dreading each day when i wake up. what an awful feeling for this mama.

[ then we played during the storm. bear was feeling quite anxious from the thunder,
which was understandable as it felt like the whole house shook when it boomed in the sky. ]

but, thanks to facebook and to the many pieces of advice my friends offered after i left a pathetic status update, i am now feeling optimistic about where we’re headed. i was given some book recommendations and today dear hubby has promised to buy one for us. barbara coloroso came up several times, so here’s hoping our local indie bookstore has her book “kids are worth it”.

[ how could anyone who sleeps like this stress me out? ]

bear has a quick visit in a JK classroom this afternoon. he is scared and nervous and i am trying to psyche him up gently. i think he’ll be ok for the 45 minutes he’s there alone with his friends and teacher. unfortunately, he will not be at his actual school as it is still under construction.

****
and for some good parenting news…
our sweet little lion has started to show interested in the potty. and this morning he had his first official pee in it! bear, dear hubby and i all cheered and clapped as he sat naked beaming with pride. i must admit, i was beaming too!

*****
happy week-ending everyone!
xo

moose for dinner!

June 5, 2012 by mama lola

we had some super silly pasta for dinner, thanks to IKEA. they were moose shaped! the kids loved it and bear said “i love to eat moose”, which we found especially funny as we’re vegetarian!

i’m really enjoying my cast iron pan again and since our naturopath told us bear was iron deficient i’ve been using that beast a lot. especially when i’m cooking things like tomatoes, as they (along with other acidic foods) absorb the iron from the pan, which is healthy and good, not just for bear, but all of us!

for the sauce i used:
1 can canned whole tomatoes, which i cut into smaller pieces.
1/2 can chick peas
1/2 zucchini
1/2 orange bell pepper
2 tblsp sour cream
2 cloves garlic
1 yellow onion
dried oregano
fresh basil leaves
olive oil
i sauteed everything starting with the onions. once everything was in and smelling wonderful, i decided i wanted to thicken the sauce, so i threw in a dollop of sour cream. just what it needed!

we also had some yummy spur of the moment salad. i have been craving cucumber dill salad, but we didn’t have any dill, so i got a little creative with what i could find.

i chopped up some cukes and cherry tomatoes, stirred in thick sour cream, white vinegar, sea salt and some of our home grown parsley. it quenched my craving and the kids loved it too!

yum!
cheers!

empathy :: lesson’s to be learned.

June 4, 2012 by mama lola

my four year old bear can be the most empathetic person i know. and then, he can be coldest, meanest person i know as well. teaching someone to be empathetic is tricky. teaching someone to trace lines is much easier.

today bear was blatantly mean to his good friend, and when the friend told him his feelings were hurt, bear laughed a terrible mean laugh. my heart sank, i flushed and felt instant shame and embarrassment. after our friends left, i tried to talk to him about empathy and why it’s important. but it kind of back fired.
when bear feels socially unsure, insecure or embarrassed he giggles and laughs. it’s something that infuriates me, because i feel judged by other parents. i know he cares about people, especially his friends, but it’s like there’s a link missing between feeling something and knowing what to do about it. he’s kinda like his dad in that sense. dear hubby is very internal and can shut down if confronted with emotionally uncomfortable or demanding situations. and yeah, i get it, why they do it, where i comes from, what triggers it, but it doesn’t mean i like living with it.

[ this is what i looked like mid-afternoon. so tired, but i was woken up at 5:30am. ]

i tried talking to bear again after lion went down for his nap (sootherless, mind you). he was kind of getting it, but he was also tired, so i dropped it after about 10 minutes. emotions are difficult things to navigate, but it is so necessary to know what feelings are, and what to call them. i think that’s what i really need to focus on with bear right now, labelling his emotions as we encourage (or am i insisting) on learning to be more empathetic.

*******

last night at bedtime there was a big search for lion’s thu-thu (soother) and we took that as a sign to ditch the habit. he fell asleep relatively well, only shouting “stop that” a couple of times when dear hubby tried to rub his back. he woke up a couple of times in the night, but that’s pretty common for him. dear hubby co-slept with lion, but i think it’s the cool temps that’s waking him in the night, and not the absence of the soother. today’s nap was cut a little short, as i couldn’t get him to fall back asleep once he woke up. we’ll see what bedtime is like tonight.
i’m guessing a disaster!
today, he hasn’t really asked for his thu-thu, which is the shocking part. when we took bear’s toodle-loo away, he would ask and scream for it, especially at sleeping times.

counting down to the end of this very long, long monday.

* does anyone have any good empathy book recommendations?
thanks.

june showers.

June 3, 2012 by mama lola

we have a big family wedding this summer, bubba & patty are getting married! the boys are ring bearers, dear hubby will usher at the church and i will co-MC at the reception. we’re all super excited! this weekend was patty’s shower. it was such a lovely afternoon with her friends and family. patty’s mum and sister worked hard and fed us with beautiful food, and in turn had us participating in silly games!

sunday, sunday was a lazy family day for us, for a change. bear and i had some superb morning cuddles first up in bed and then downstairs on the couch. he’s going through a snuggly phase again, which i love. of course.

then we played outside on the front porch. it has been raining and raining and raining here. not that i’m complaining, just making an observation! the picture of the dark clouds is from saturday evening. looked menacing, but it only rained a little.

dear hubby made his famous rice-n-beans-guacamole-holy-moly burritos for dinner. they were so delicious, topped with peach/mango salsa and sour cream. i accidentally over-ate a little! sigh.

now, kids off to bed with their clean hair and sleepy eyes.

dear hubby and i cannot find lion’s soother anywhere and we’re taking it as a sign. so, this is it… cutting that habit off tonight! fingers crossed the little dude doesn’t get too mad. bear was a disaster for a couple of nights, but then got over it pretty quickly.

good night.

here’s hoping for a restful sleep, yeah right!!!

last day of may :: watch out, it’s a vent.

June 1, 2012 by mama lola

augh. rude people in high(ish) places really get under my skin.
as you may remember last week, i thought i had lost my requisitions for my upcoming follow up MRI and blood work, that had been ordered six months ago by my neurologist and endochronologist. (if you are new here, i had a brain tumour a couple of years ago… see HERE and HERE for details). well, fortunately i did eventually find the requisition’s in the basement in last years day planner! i have already done my bloodwork and am waiting to hear back from the hospital to see when my MRI is.
before finding the forms, i called my neurologists office to see what my options were. first they hung up on me, and then one of the other receptionists was so rude to me, i actually burst into tears when i hung-up with her. bear came running in asking what the matter was. i phoned dear hubby, who got all mad at the system, as usual. anyhow, long story short my endo has a different office and receptionist, who phoned me back and was kind and generous with her time and help. luckily, i didn’t end up needing anyone’s extra help as i found the forms and have taken care of everything i can.

[ this is where the vent comes in ]… so today, i come home from picking up bear from preschool and the rude receptionist from my neuro’s office has left a long message telling me, there’s nothing she can do really and that next time i just shouldn’t lose the forms. she keeps calling me “mah dear” and uses an offensive tone of: sucks-to-be-you-but-i’m-not-gonna-try-an-help-you kinda way. she complained that i didn’t leave a fax number with her, blah, blah, blah she was calling me back and i wasn’t even home! she asked me to phone her back (since she’s obviously going out of her way to help me), but didn’t leave her number. sigh. i phoned her back and left a message three minutes after i received her message, and told her everything was taken care of and i would see her in july for my appointment. three hours later dear hubby phones saying she has now phoned his cell, complaining about my ineptness.
oh, boy!

people like her hold a lot of power, she could lose a file, misplace a date and nobody would know any different.

*****
moving on…
today is the last day of NaBloPoMo, meaning i will no longer be blogging daily. i missed a few days this month, but still i’m amazed at how often i can get to the computer. some days are easier to write about than others.

no pictures today. too tired to edit.

hope you stay on and keep checking in!
*****