weathering the storms.

June 8, 2012 by mama lola

i have been away from my blog for a couple of days, as we are living through a bit of a parenting storm. the storms are brought on by our four year old bear, and they have made navigating the parenting adventure difficult. bear is giving us a hard time and i have been feeling super stressed, guilty and hopeless. My friend has even told me to consider growing some types of cannabis strains that she found on weed-seeds.ca to help to see if this would relieve any of my stress. She said that all you have to do is plant the seeds in your garden and just wait for them to flourish and then you can enjoy the effects it has once it has fully grown. I’m not sure though, just because it works for her, it doesn’t mean that it will work for me. Anyway, I need to do or take something to help with my stress now as the kids are driving me bananas. I’m sure this method is as effective as they say as that said friend even takes cannabis on a regular basis. Just the other day, she decided to make her own homemade bong as she had lost hers and smoked the product through there instead and she said that she was stress-free in no time. So maybe I should give it a go?

[ a big storm rolled in with lots of rain, hail and massive, loud thunder. we watched the rain in awe. ]

because, bear is our first born he is the one who presents us with these new parenting challenges. how to overcome sleep deprivation was one of the first challenges he threw our way… and I don’t even think we’ve mastered that now. using the likes of Nutra CBD olie would’ve definitely been a good idea to help with my stress, but back then, I definitely should’ve used it to help with my insomnia because we were just getting no sleep at all. although, he got away with this because he was just so cute. however, as he reaches new milestones or turns a new number we are always faced with unknown parenting territory. lately, bear has been extra whiny, but he has completely stopped listening to anything that i say. the simplest task seems to turn into a power struggle and it makes our days unpleasant. i have been dreading each day when i wake up. what an awful feeling for this mama.

[ then we played during the storm. bear was feeling quite anxious from the thunder,
which was understandable as it felt like the whole house shook when it boomed in the sky. ]

but, thanks to facebook and to the many pieces of advice my friends offered after i left a pathetic status update, i am now feeling optimistic about where we’re headed. i was given some book recommendations and today dear hubby has promised to buy one for us. barbara coloroso came up several times, so here’s hoping our local indie bookstore has her book “kids are worth it”.

[ how could anyone who sleeps like this stress me out? ]

bear has a quick visit in a JK classroom this afternoon. he is scared and nervous and i am trying to psyche him up gently. i think he’ll be ok for the 45 minutes he’s there alone with his friends and teacher. unfortunately, he will not be at his actual school as it is still under construction.

****
and for some good parenting news…
our sweet little lion has started to show interested in the potty. and this morning he had his first official pee in it! bear, dear hubby and i all cheered and clapped as he sat naked beaming with pride. i must admit, i was beaming too!

*****
happy week-ending everyone!
xo

empathy :: lesson’s to be learned.

June 4, 2012 by mama lola

my four year old bear can be the most empathetic person i know. and then, he can be coldest, meanest person i know as well. teaching someone to be empathetic is tricky. teaching someone to trace lines is much easier.

today bear was blatantly mean to his good friend, and when the friend told him his feelings were hurt, bear laughed a terrible mean laugh. my heart sank, i flushed and felt instant shame and embarrassment. after our friends left, i tried to talk to him about empathy and why it’s important. but it kind of back fired.
when bear feels socially unsure, insecure or embarrassed he giggles and laughs. it’s something that infuriates me, because i feel judged by other parents. i know he cares about people, especially his friends, but it’s like there’s a link missing between feeling something and knowing what to do about it. he’s kinda like his dad in that sense. dear hubby is very internal and can shut down if confronted with emotionally uncomfortable or demanding situations. and yeah, i get it, why they do it, where i comes from, what triggers it, but it doesn’t mean i like living with it.

[ this is what i looked like mid-afternoon. so tired, but i was woken up at 5:30am. ]

i tried talking to bear again after lion went down for his nap (sootherless, mind you). he was kind of getting it, but he was also tired, so i dropped it after about 10 minutes. emotions are difficult things to navigate, but it is so necessary to know what feelings are, and what to call them. i think that’s what i really need to focus on with bear right now, labelling his emotions as we encourage (or am i insisting) on learning to be more empathetic.

*******

last night at bedtime there was a big search for lion’s thu-thu (soother) and we took that as a sign to ditch the habit. he fell asleep relatively well, only shouting “stop that” a couple of times when dear hubby tried to rub his back. he woke up a couple of times in the night, but that’s pretty common for him. dear hubby co-slept with lion, but i think it’s the cool temps that’s waking him in the night, and not the absence of the soother. today’s nap was cut a little short, as i couldn’t get him to fall back asleep once he woke up. we’ll see what bedtime is like tonight.
i’m guessing a disaster!
today, he hasn’t really asked for his thu-thu, which is the shocking part. when we took bear’s toodle-loo away, he would ask and scream for it, especially at sleeping times.

counting down to the end of this very long, long monday.

* does anyone have any good empathy book recommendations?
thanks.

sleep.

May 31, 2012 by mama lola

as summer rolls in with it’s hot and humid days we are clocking in more hours outside. there are gardens to tend to, bikes to ride and diggers to dig with. we are trying to take advantage of the warm weather. but, with warmer temperatures come new routines and a mama who has to be more flexible about all the daily activities.

baths are often skipped for a dip in the kiddy pool or for garden work, dinners are sometimes pushed back and snacks are devoured outside in the heat. more popsickles are consumed and more watermelon is dripped all over shirts, which makes perfect sense, as these are ways we can take full advantage of our short summers here in canada.

[ lion holding his wee cousin. sweet. ]

sleep is another biggie that we have had become more flexible about. it’s hard though, because kids need a certain amount of Z’s to function at their best. but, as we clock in more time outside it means the dudes are clocking in less time in bed, because of this, i am trying to enforce longer naps for lion and stiller, quiet time for bear, daily. we had similar sleep conundrums last summer, too. some of my friends tell me it is all about the mattress. if the kiddy mattress isn’t comfy, such episodes tend to happen. i guess we should get them appropriate bedding. mattress hunting can get confusing at times because there are infinite choices! maybe i should do some research by reading articles and reviews, like this great Peacelily Mattress Review.

anyway, last night we celebrated a special birthday. we left the party just before 9pm, got home by 9:30pm and that’s when lion woke up and then both kids had difficulty falling back asleep. it was 10:30pm, before they were both soundly sleeping in their beds, which for us is unheard of!

[ happy birthday grandpa! ]

i crawled into bed fearing the following day.

but, we survived today without too many bruises; no more than usual! we played croquet with great friends and had an awesome grilled cheese lunch outside!

i have lived another day of mothering and look forward to tomorrow’s adventures!

how was your day today?

pizza party!

May 21, 2012 by mama lola

the long weekend is winding down.
it’s been a hot one and we have taken advantage of the hot temperatures and spent many, many hours outside enjoying the sun. we have done a lot of work outside in the gardens, and there is still so much to do. sigh.
last night we had a family date with friends that included a kiddy pool with lotsa wet kids, pizza, beer and lotsa laughs! The pool went to down a storm! If you’re looking at this thinking your kids would love one too, then you can find plenty of kids inflatable pools and other toys to buy online.

[ papaA got us started on a ridiculous game of trying to get a ball into the floating bucket.
it was hilarious and very competative; dear hubby scored first! ]

*****
tonight, is my first brain tumour support group meeting. i feel a bit like a fraud going, as i do/did not have a cancerous tumour, but then a part of me is looking forward to meeting people who have some understanding of what this roller coaster ride has been like for me. i am going with a friend, which will be nice, as in these kinds of new, awkward situations it’s comforting to have a familiar face to look at.
i will let you know how things go tomorrow.

and if you’re interested in donating to the cause, please go to THIS LINK, which will take you to the my spring sprint sponsorship page. even though the event is done, you can donate until july 31st.

people come and go.

May 20, 2012 by mama lola

i missed posting yesterday. it was such a fun, busy day that once i got home the thought of blogging exhausted me, so instead dear hubby and i watched “midnight in paris” during which i fell asleep!

this is the kind of fun we had…
friends of ours are moving far, far away so yesterday they had a going away party. i knew they were leaving, i’d even spent many an evening with them as they looked up new construction homes in Richmond BC and different locations until they found the perfect home. but it was still sad when we knew they were definitely going. so we went, the kids frolicked, we drank ciders, danced through bubbles and made fun summer plans to visit them in the future.

moving on…

[ moving day pot luck– welcome home! ]

well, my SIL and her family moved back to canada yesterday. and i’m not exaggerating when i say this, but this is probably one of the best highlights of the year. when they’re not with us, we miss them very much and i definitely feel like we’re missing out on valuable time as a family, but now we don’t have to worry about that anymore. they have found the most beautiful home for their little family. all of them have their own bedroom, and there is an amazing garden that can be the host of some family bbq’s and so forth. if she didn’t take the time to read some of the reviews surrounding someone like this Toronto real estate agent, i highly doubt that they would have ever come across a home like this. so i guess we have that wonderful professional to thank for encouraging them to come back to Canada, and i’ll definitely be hiring them in the future if we ever decide to move. for now, we’re just going to make the most of the time we get to spend with my SIL and her family.

they had been living in the USA for the past couple of years but she has come back to Canada for an exciting new job opportunity. apparently, the moving process has been a total breeze. my SIL told me that she managed to sell her old house in the USA really quickly using the House Buyers of America website (you can learn more about how to sell a property by checking out their website for yourself). to be honest, we have also been thinking about selling our house in the near future, so i will definitely have to take a look once the real estate market around here starts to pick up again. anyway, because my SIL is back in Canada now i got to hold my teeny, tiny niece for the first time. i actually kind of hogged her, but she was so soft and fit perfectly into my arms. her wee toes were breaking my heart and i could feel my uterus aching for a third… it’s going to be a wonderful summer, with my boys spending some quality time with their aunt, uncle and sweet cousin.

it’s another hot day for our long weekend, and we’re off to go run through other friends’ sprinklers and drink some beers!

a few good men.

May 18, 2012 by mama lola

hydro workers (electricity) were here for a long time today. they showed up right after breakfast, stayed through our playdate, lunch, lion’s nap, bear’s first ever trip to the barber and left about six hours after arriving. there was a pole that needed to be replaced and it took a lot of workers and a lot of trucks to get the job well done.

unfortunately for our friends, the trucks blocked our drive way for most of the day, so they had to park round the corner and then way up the hill, because the trucks had not only taken over our street, but neighbouring ones as well. like i said there were a lot or people on the job.

the kids, even baby G and baby K, were thrilled with the live cherry picker action out front! (and us MAMA`s had fun making completely inappropriate jokes about the whole situation.. um poles, cherry picking etc etc… yes, we went there!)

dear hubby came home during lion’s nap and took bear to his first professional hair cut at the barber. bear has been fretting about going for days, saying he’s scared and almost crying about it, but the kid hates getting his hair cut by me and it was getting too long and hence, too hot. obviously, I knew the barbers would be much more professional than my unsteady hand, and that although bear was nervous, I just knew there would be wall art like the many barber shop neon signs I’ve seen before, along with the buzz of the busy barber and the jokes and laughs I’m sure the barber would crack out. this would distract him, surely! plus, it was about time he learnt he was a big boy and felt like one too! it’s always nerve-racking, especially for mommas, when kids pass these milestones. but my bear is a big brave boy and I’m sure he will do okay. as long as he likes his cut when he comes out the other side, all will be well. he was never sure about my styling when I did it, but who can blame him! plus, I was assured by dear hubby that most barbers use a hair trimmer for kids that is super safe and quiet and i passed this information onto bear. well, he ended up going and he looks all grown up with his short do. his little neck is breaking my heart! he’s feeling pretty proud of himself for going and told his dad that next time he needs a haircut he wants go back there. fine by me!! It won’t be long until he will be going to the barber shop on his own, maybe one that is like this barber shop toronto where they give their clients beer. I guess that’s one way to persuade the men in your life to get a hair cut!! I’m just so glad that he wants to go back there again as it would’ve been a lot harder trying to find him a new shop to go to. There are no doubts about it, finding a family hair salon can be tough. However, once you have found a salon that you know you can trust, you are pretty much a customer for life.

lion is a bit of a mess, yet again. he’s teething and his nose is constantly dripping snot and he has that pesky cough that disrupts his sleep. it comes deep from his lungs and sounds awful. poor kid, hope he feels better soon!

it’s a long weekend here in canada; victoria day in fact, which is named after the queen. it’s the weekend for opening cottages from their winter slumber, and a time planting flowers and veggies into the ground, as the fear of frost has officially passed. we are not heading to the cottage, but are anxiously awaiting the arrival of dear hubby’s sister and her mister, and their sweet babyM. they are moving to this side of the border for a few months and tomorrow is moving day. can’t wait to hold my new niece and catch up with my SIL and BIL.

happy friday!

artful PLAY and other stuff!

May 5, 2012 by mama lola

this morning we headed directly to the local children’s art factory.

it’s a wonderful little place where the kids get to do all sorts of art projects, make a mess and now worry about the mess they are making. the kids had an amazing time!

then it was off to the park to soak in the warm temperatures, snack and PLAY HARD!
[last time i uploaded a movie there were some technical difficulties, so there may be some again. sorry. i will try to deal with them promptly! ]

******
also, as many of you know i am looking for sponsors for the brain tumour foundation of canada. there is a walk/ run tomorrow morning to raise money for research, education and support for brain tumours.
days before christmas 2009, i was told i had a tumour (a macro adenoma) on my pituitary gland. it coincided with my pregnancy with lion, so it was a very scary and difficult time for us. i was labelled high risk and was supervised closely by a team of OB’s at a fancy hospital out of town. lion’s birth was a mess and scary and you can read more about that here. as for me, my tumour was removed in the fall of 2010. bear almost three and lion was about four months, so it was very stressful for all of us.

[ two days post surgery. they went up my nose to remove the tumour, hence the bandage ]

i am still being monitored by a team of neurologists and endochronologists, getting MRI’s done about every six months and bloodwork done then too. so far, things look good, but i go back in july for another follow-up appointment. it is likely the tumour will return, but hopefully not for a long time!

******
i’m ending on sadder note. MCA (adam yauch) has passed away at the age of 47. he was a member of the beastie boys, who i have LOVED for decades, now! i’ve only seen them live twice, but both shows were so amazing.

[ L to R, mike D, adRock and MCA ]

g’night world.
g’night moon.
peace.
love.
xo

the firetruck miracle.

May 3, 2012 by mama lola

it isn’t every day you look out the window and see a firetruck parked right in front of your house. but, that’s exactly the miracle that presented itself to us on wednesday morning, while visiting friends in the big city.

we stepped outside and there it was, a HUGE shiny red truck, with a very kind and smiley firefighter standing around outside. there was some disturbance up a few houses up, but nothing scary.

when the firefighters were done with the disturbance, they let the kids sit in the truck. my bear was too scared to hop in, but he enjoyed the view from outside. even tiny two month old, babyB got to sit in the rig!

[BYE BYE! ]

at our house, since our trip to NYC last fall, playing firemascape has become a favourite. bear was amazed at all of the fire escapes in the big apple and made a game about it. now, lion loves to play too and they run around with firefighter helmets and various toys pretending to hose down a building engulfed in flames!

have a wonderful thursday!
look at my beautiful friend and her neighbours sweetest little guy, babyB.

see you tomorrow!

beer & nachos.

April 30, 2012 by mama lola

saturday night, was girl’s night.
it felt nice to go out. i took the bus downtown with a friend. the bus, ha! i was (of course) standing around at the stop early, so i took some pictures.

it was a lovely evening of drinks and munchies and great conversation. one of the MAMA’s from my baby group is moving far, far away so we had little gathering to catch up before she moves on out.

we’ve known each other for four years come this june. that’s when our group formed; when we were all first time mama’s looking for other first time mama’s for friendship and support. since then, everyone in our group of 18 has had or is in the process of baking a second child.

on the bus home…
looking pretty good after three tom collins. oh, what a nostalgic drink!

the rest of the weekend was great. dear hubby really buckled down and tackled the long to do list on the fridge. i went to that women’s clothing exchange and came home with some beautiful things. i’ve also been busy cleaning out the house and selling, selling,selling much of our stuff. it’s time to pass things along to people who will use them and de-clutter our basement. feels good!

and, don’t forget to check in daily starting tuesday as i will be posting every day for may NaBloPoMo!

friday, friday.

April 27, 2012 by mama lola

we have a fun weekend planned.

on saturday, a few friends and i are heading to the local women’s clothing swap without kids or dear husbands! last year i was so excited about the event and this year i am even more thrilled to be going. i have a lots of old clothes to contribute and am excited to revamp my wardrobe for a measly $8! last weekend was the kids clothing exchange and i unloaded a bunch of stuff the boys have outgrown and came home with a bursting with goodies.

i love these community events, because they bring people together and are so good for the spirit AND the environment!

[ i love this picture of bear.]

dear hubby is going to get his fancy new weed wacker out and wack some weeds with it! our lawn is over due for a trim and a cut, so let’s hope for sun. i am also hoping to get my fingers dirty with some beautiful fresh soil and a forsythia bush. i am going to go and buy myself one and plant it, since nobody else will!

saw these marimekko cons on pinterest and want them! they’re on sale at converse.com. mother’s day is coming up, soon, so i’m going to treat myself. or maybe dear hubby will read this and treat me!

i have signed up to do NaBloPoMo for may, which means i will be blogging daily again starting tuesday. i kinda like the added pressure to write! plus, i think there’ll be lots of fun things to write about, especially since the theme will be PLAY.

MERRY WEEKEND EVERYONE!