last day of march.

March 31, 2012 by mama lola

this is the final day of NaBloPoMo, meaning i am no longer committed to write every day. i missed yesterday, so in total i skipped out on two days, and out of 31 i think that’s a pretty good feat. i ran out of room on my flickr account to post pictures (i only have the free kind), so that has somehow made it harder to come up with entries at the end of the month.

i enjoyed this experience and will certainly commit to another month, but not in april. we have a lot going on with dear hubby’s birthday, friends’ birthdays, easter and other spring time shenanigans. that’s not to say i will not blog, because i will, just not every day.
*****
it snowed last night. so shocking and cold and confusing, especially after the heat wave we had week prior!
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our lovely naturopath has been emailing me and told me to not worry about the barley sensitivity and focus on the eggs and peas. whew! that’s a huge relief and load off my mind! now that i have come face to face with just how much gluten and wheat my family consumes i am going to decrease those amounts anyway. wheat has been altered so much and gluten sensitivities run in dear hubby’s family, so i figure i midas well cut back for everyone’s benefit.

and avoiding eggs is easy. they have to be labelled as they are such a common allergen.
*****
time to do spend time with my family on this cold weekend. we may head out and check out a maple syrup festival today. how canadiana of us! tomorrow is a family dinner with dear hubby’s folks and hopefully some other family.
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dear hubby and i had a lovely date night. snow, a quick dinner, a movie and a bottle of wine!
*****

[ source ]

have a wonderful weekend everyone!

where children sleep.

March 30, 2012 by mama lola

i saw this link on the internet. it is a photographic editorial about the different places children sleep on, all over the world. it was quite shocking, upsetting and heart breaking to be visually shown these dirty, dangerous and uncomfortable places a child was expected to sleep and dream and prepare for the following day.

i feel a tremendous sense of gratitude right now, after watching that slide show. although bear is struggling with his eczema and it is turning out to be a bumpy road, at least my kids are safe and comfy upstairs in their bunk beds, tucked in between freshly laundered sheets, in soft pj’s, in a house that is warm and will protect from weather, animals and other potential dangers. If we do get anything like bed bugs, all we have to do is make one call to someone like Olathe pest control and it’s sorted in the same day.

we are lucky.
fortunate.
for so much.

good night.
sleep tight.
don’t let the bed bugs bite…

barley depression.

March 29, 2012 by mama lola

i’m in a bit of a barley depression.

bear’s eczema was on fire, again today. his right elbow crease is the worst, but his left is flaring badly as well. it’s all raw and seepingfluid. plus, his belly is covered in spots. or polka dots as he called them.

[ source ]

i now think he’s coming down with a cold. last time he was sick with the sniffles and a cough he got all rashy and the eczema got really bad.

[ source ]

i emailed my naturopath’s office with a few concerns. they phoned back immediately and offered an 15 minute consult with another doctor, as ours is on holidays. how sweet and lovely! then tonight, i received an email from our naturopath with suggestions on how to manage the flare-ups!

i feel like we’re in good hands. she’s on holidays and emailing us. that’s unheard of.

bear is cared for.

what a wonderful feeling for me in all of this helplessness.

my friend suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to consider cannabis from suppliers similar to Bud Express Now (https://www.budexpressnow.ca) to help me to manage my negative emotions. it can be frustrating having to deal with all of these health conditions, so I will give it some thought. i know that you are now allowed to grow your own cannabis, but i wouldn’t have a clue what to grow them in or anything and i just know i would have so many questions like how big should my plants be after 2 weeks and how long should they grow for? i can see why so many people do it though, when you take the health benefits into account.

barley research continues and seems bleaker each passing day.

but….

[ source ]

just gotta get ‘er done.
figure what brands we can trust, where to buy them.

any suggestions?

thirtysomething.

March 27, 2012 by mama lola

my latest favourite show, was a late 80’s hit.
after watching the first half of season one, i see why.

the show revolves around a handful of characters, as seen above, and their lives. mostly it focuses on hope and micheal’s marriage and relationship, while also exploring the day to day struggles of raising a baby girl. what i really love about the show is the open dialogue about mothering, staying at home vs. working outside the home, but best of all, breastfeeding! it actually sounds real, which is kinda shocking and ground breaking. hope is seen opening her blouse on several occasions preparing to breastfeed; she struggles openly when her daughter starts to self-wean and has long conversations with her husband about it! can you believe this? because, i was floored when i heard these discussions on the screen; this is after all an american prime time show. they even say the word breast, in a non-sexual, normalized manner (unlike today) which was also very shocking!

but, this was 1987 and things have changed, A LOT since then! this is proof of how ridiculous people have become about something so natural and NORMAL, as breastfeeding. presently, parenting and mothering has become about what you can buy for your child, rather than what you do for your child. i am so relieved and proud we attachment parent; it has made our children into the amazing little dudes they are today. people assume they are dependant, but they are actually quite independent for their age.

you should check out this show!

it does move slowly, compared to the shows today, but i kinda love it! nice way to end my day!

*****

did you ever watch this show? is there something else you’re watching that has made you think about parenting? or marriage?

one of THEM evenings with kids and tofu!

March 27, 2012 by mama lola

[ * FYI: in this blog entry i threaded instructions via pictures,

a fast and efficient way to marinate tofu. ]

augh.
monday’s are a long day for me. i parent alone all day, from sunrise to sunset, until dear hubby gets home after eight o’clock.

today started off so great. with a dramatic drop in temperatures a park play date was moved to our house. it was -3c today and after the high teens and low +20c’s last week it felt shockingly cold! so i ran around cleaning and vacuuming before everyone showed up. the kids had a great time and us MAMA’s had a chance to chat and drink coffee. it was a wonderful way to start the day and the week.

after everyone left, lion went down for a nap, i chatted on the phone (for what we call half time) with a dear friend and bear watched a DVD. once lion came down from his nap, a couple of hours later, the kids played and snacked and we had a quiet afternoon…

until, just before i started to make dinner things turned. dramatically and quickly. bear became frustrated with a maze in his activity book and started to crumple some pages and cried and cried. i tried to calm him down, but i was also making dinner so it was tough. dinner was fast to make; a veg stir fry with tofu and rice.

[ cut tofu into shape desired. ]

[ toss into a ziplock bag with tamari sauce (soy sauce). we use the tamari as it’s gluten free and generally healthier with less sodium and it’s organic.]

then, at the dinner table both boys refused to eat. they both stuck their tongues out and complained the food was disgusting. this is where things went downhill fast, and i know it’s my fault. but, i was tired and hungry and fed up with the rudeness so i got mad, got the kids into their pj’s and had them lie in bed until 7pm. they complied, shockingly, and it was kinda what we all needed. i have a feeling they complied because they’ve had some new pj’s and cozy clothes to snuggle into, lion regularly wears his new onesie and he often goes around to fistbump us all, as that’s his favorite part of the movie (his onesie is one of the main characters and his favorite!). some silence and stillness. eventually we got on speaking terms again and bear complained about being hungry so i let the boys have a second chance at dinner. bear ate like a bear, but lion still refused to eat.

[ leave tofu marinating for a at least 10 minutes, tossing the chunks around every so often. ]

[ my secret ingredient in stir-fries. ]

anyhow. the boys were asleep by 7:45pm, which is kinda late for them, but i feel like i did the right thing letting them eat rather than starve all night. both boys also had a little bit of apple sauce before heading to bed.

i hate it when i lose my shit. i really do. my heart crumbles and i feel like the worst mother around. i know all parents and caregivers lose their cool, but i feel such shame and guilt for my own behaviour.
augh.

[ dinner is served in my lovely teema bowls. does not look disgusting to me, what do you think? ]

hope your monday ended better than mine.
here’s hoping tomorrow will bring with it some peace.

g’night.

barley, and it’s dirty little secrets.

March 25, 2012 by mama lola

i did not blog yesterday and missed a day for NaBloPoMo. but, i was so tired after a long day in the big city, that i decided rather than posting a terrible post, i would just skip posting anything.
*********
so, here we are a fresh new day… sunday. we are ending the week on a good note. or trying to anyhow. dear hubby is making the usual sunday feast. homemade pizza with dough from the bread maker! yum!

i have started my research into bear’s various allergies or sensitivities to be more accurate. it seems that egg, being a well known and potentially serious allergen is labelled clearly on packaged food items. although, things like bagels and pretzels may not contain egg, but they might instead be glazed with it, and so not sure if it then has to legally be marked. not sure where to find this information either…

but, barley…. oh boy! bear has a medium sensitivity to barley, which i didn’t really think much of, until i started to read labels and see that it is in everything. kind of like wheat or gluten. with my research i stumbled upon story after story of people, who thought they themselves or their kid had a gluten or wheat intolerance, but turned out to be barley! i nearly got him a gluten intolerance test but i’m pretty sure he’s just allergic to barley. that said, it might be worth doing a few tests with him just to be 100% sure of what’s causing his symptoms. a barley allergy presents commonly with skin rashes, eczema, head aches, stomach problems, diarrhea etc., just like so many other intolerances.

i had never even heard of a barley allergy before thursday. but, dear hubby and i have decided to make our household barley free, because bear will be exposed to it out there in the world, without us knowing. barley can be mixed into wheat flours and does not have to be labelled; malt is most commonly made from barley and can be found in all sorts of foods, like cereals. barley may also be found in bear’s fave soup, miso. oh, dear!

allergen labelling is tricky business and the government has laws to try to protect the general public, but the rules aren’t air tight and the gaps can be dangerous for some.

it’s time to put our homemaker aprons on and really get into the swing of making more of our own foods. with bear’s eczema it has become clear to me that we, as a family, have to take more control of what we eat. i have taken food for granted, assuming, all be it half-heartedly, that most foods are safe to eat. but, as evident by our govenrment, if manufacturers don’t actually have to include every single possible ingredient in their products, then there is potential for harm to my kid. luckily, luckily for him the reaction will not be dangerous or severe, but maybe one day it will develop into an anaphalactic allergy.
nobody knows anything really, when it comes to allergies it seems.

*********

GAME ON!

our boys got a surprise toy from my parents… a hockey net and hockey sticks! i guess that’s what happens when you’re family is finnish/ canadian! the weather was wet and dreary for our visit, bt we had fun. earlier in the day we went to the out of the cold art show, my folks have been volunteering at. both boys came home with some well chosen art!

hope you’ll be back tomorrow!

welcome baby M!

March 24, 2012 by mama lola

twenty five days ago i became an auntie for the third time! so exciting!

fresh and new.

i haven’t mentioned this joyous news on here, because i wanted to make sure i had her parents permission to share the wonderful news. missyM was born healthy and strong to her adoring parents on monday, february 27th. her arrival was long awaited, and we are anxiously looking forward to meeting her in may. dear hubby’s sister and her mister (and now missyM) live on the other side of the border for now, but are moving close to us for a few months.

a tired and proud mama looking at missyM.

when i showed lion pictures of baby missyM, he pointed, smiling and saying “baby, baby, baby”. it was so sweet and special. bear too was eager to see pictures of their newest and littlest cousin.

heartsy pants! missy looking like she has a bit of sass in her!

now, we are all counting down to may to when we get to meet the newest member of the family.

happy friday everyone. tonight was date night and dear hubby and i went to a restaurant called eggcetera dinner, since we are going to be an egg free home from now on!

thursday night quickie…

March 23, 2012 by mama lola

today we received bear’s blood work results from our naturopath and drum roll please… the kid is sensitive to eggs, the whole thing, and peas. he is disappointed he can’t eat eggs anymore, but that’s life, i guess. i am going to start researching what kinds of egg substitutes to use and for which recipes. i think it’s totally manageable for us to be egg free. there is incredible relief in me this evening as bear is not sensitive to a whole variety of foods; like gluten, dairy and eggs all together! whew!
the peas, um, well, it’s weird, right? we don’t eat a lot peas, but in the summer we’ll have to skip out on eating fresh peas straight out of the pods. so it goes!

here’s hoping that the tests were accurate and that eggs are the main culprit and we can get this terrible eczema off of his body. if anyone has any recipe book recommendations or websites, that would be great. the wealth of information out there is a bit overwhelming.

i love this boy so much.
look at his beautiful face, so easy to love.

anniversaries: some are harder than others.

March 22, 2012 by mama lola

anniversaries are tricky events. many anniversaries are occasions for remembering and celebrating achievements, family, love or whatever. dear hubby and i don’t really celebrate our wedding anniversary. not because it’s not special, but because february usually becomes about bear and his birthday. the two events are three days apart.

on our first wedding anniversary, when bear was three days old we were quarantined in the emergency department at the local hospital, because i developed a raging fever and on the advice of my midwives went to the hospital. dear hubby and bear had to join me, because i was nursing like every half hour or whatever. not the most romantic of anniversaries. in fact it was very stressful and i was quite down about the whole ordeal.

lilac out front budding. soon to be blooming. can’t wait!

some anniversaries are even harder.
it’s been just over a year since we put our sweet, squirrel loving roo down. his death is something that gets discussed a lot around here. bear will tell me he misses roo, just randomly when he sees other dogs. it shatters me when i hear him say stuff like that. i too have a huge hole in my heart for roo. i miss him so much, even though he was such a pain sometimes.
he barked and jumped around every where; hunted and killed squirrels; was very anxious in certain situations, but man, that dog loved us. i mean, he LOVED us. due to his anxiety and bounciness we always looked to calm him down with various CBD treats from the likes of this Pet treat manufacturer and others. he was always looking out for bear and then lion when he was wee.

he had had a rough life. moved from home to home to home to home. he just wanted to be loved. and we did just that.
we loved him. boy, did we ever LOVE him.
still do. so much.

on a happier note, this blog, my BEAR & LION will be celebrating a year of online success tomorrow!! i’m not sure how success is measured in the cyber-blog world, but i have acquired a following of faithful readers from all around the world, some who read out of obligation perhaps, others out of curiosity. i actually don’t care why people come by and read, i just love that you do.
my first entry was just a photograph, as i was too scared to write anything, in fear of judgement. now look at me, spilling my beans regularly!

i have found writing on my blog to be quite therapeutic in many ways. i started writing right after we put roo down, right after dear hubby lost his job and four months after my tumour was removed. it’s been a wonderful place for me to vent about some of life’s tough moments and share in some of the joys. i am grateful for my life, but it sure is harder than i ever could have imagined. and quite frankly, other people have it harder, much harder than me and i want to make sure i acknowledge that, but that does not take away from my hardships. i guess it’s like comparing apples and oranges; everyone’s life is hard to them and that’s what needs to be legitimized.
we’ve come a long way, baby!

anyhow, thanks for reading, please stick with me and my family to see what the future holds. as we all know far too well, we really have no idea what tomorrow may bring. that’s the point in life i guess.

xoxo,
lola

songs. music. hurrah!

March 20, 2012 by mama lola

i am officially addicted to this song by gotye. it is the ultimate post-break-up song and takes me back to my youth, which was packed tight with boy- drama. this was obviously before meeting dear hubby, as we have never experienced any kind of drama; we are perfect! I remember blasting it from my fluance ai60 speakers so loud and singing along to every word. Well, I still do…

anyhow, give it a listen… this is going to be a big hit, or bigger than it is already!

this is bear’s favourite top 40 song. whenever it comes on the car radio i crank the volume and we all dance and sing in our seats! hello! it’s by martin solveig and dragonette.

dear hubby was the one who got us hooked on adele. and man, she can sing! every time i hear the song below i get teary eyed and goosebumpy. her song writing skills and voice combined make a killer combo and one that this mama loves to listen to. and lawd, she’s born in 1988, that really puts me in my place!

i’ve always loved singing at the top of my voice on car journeys, so much so that I once had the music on so loud that I busted the sound system! i got a new componet speaker as fast as i could so that I could continue to make the most of my glorious playlists. since we got sirius radio (satellite radio), we listen to music pretty much whenever we are at home too. my fave station is 70’s on 7, but with over 200 stations to choose from we do get a chance to load up on all sorts of music. i can often be seen shakin’ my thang while cooking dinner; it’s a perfect time for a family dance party!

*****
holy sweet sunshine it was hot today. probably at least +25c, which is completely, unseasonably, ridiculously HOT! rumour has it tomorrow will be even hotter.
“hot town, summer in the city…” (the lovin’ spoonfuls)