May 20, 2011 by mama lola

Do not speak unless it improves on silence. ~ Proverb

i can be heard yimmering on at the kids and dear hubby. i think i use too many words with them, as often what i am trying to convey gets lost in all the words. i read a parenting book a while ago, on the recommendation of a dear friend, the way of boys by anthony rao. a worthwhile read for anyone, but especially if you have a little guy around 3 years of age. in the book the author really makes a point about communicating well with your kids. short and concise is best. since reading the book, my talking has changed with bear specifically. i try and stick to the point without too many words, especially when i want him to do something like wash his hands before dinner, or tidy up his toys.

bear yawns as an answer to a question and then completely ignores me.

mr. mischievous always going after my computer.

he knows he’s not supposed to touch my laptop, but he doesn’t care.

i am chatty. i like to talk, but i also like to listen. i enjoy a good conversation greatly, but have recently come to terms with the realization that bear is not chatty like me. he is more introverted, more quiet and subtle with his communicating, just like his dad. i have resigned asking about pre-school on the drive home as these one sided conversations only end up frustrating me. so, instead of sharing our morning experiences, we sit silently listening to the radio, each of us in our own worlds.

maybe with age this will change. maybe not.

lion, i think, will be my conversation partner.

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled. ~ Horace

there are times when i am so exhausted and feel so beat down by the world, that not only do i say too many words, but i let the regrettable ones slip out too. those are the darkest and most shameful occasions of my parenting. i recognize that i am the adult, the parent, and should therefore, be setting the example of how to treat others with respect and care. there are no excuses and there is no justification, and all i can do is pick myself up from these low places and remind myself that next time i will try to handle things better. because, there will be a next time. you see, the life i lead is based on cycles and rhythms and with two little people in my life i am bound to be tested and pushed for many more years to come.

i cannot take back what i have said, but i can teach my children how to acknowledge and take responsibility for something hurtful they have said to someone. that is a tough lesson to learn and definitely a skill most adults should work on. it’s embarrassing to hold yourself accountable, but it’s mortifying to do it in front of your child. but i do it, because i have to take ownership of my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. right? how will i become a better mother, better person, if i can’t call myself on my own s#!t.

don’t stand on the rocking chair!

it will be difficult to push the cart if you are standing on it.

i feel nervous about sharing this info with the world. but, i think parenting is full of dirty secrets that we are encouraged to hide in shame. this is my attempt to open up the dialogue and shatter the façades that parents don’t say terrible things to their kids.

we all do it, but we just don’t talk about it.

https://bearandlionmama.com/2011/05/525.html

may, it’s a funny time of the year.

May 17, 2011 by mama lola

May is a time of year when my feelings and emotions go a bit wild. I feel nostalgic, because that’s when I went tree planting and fell in love. I feel antsy and want to get outside and get my fingers dirty with dirt, but alas, it’s still a bit too early to plant seedlings. I feel excited to wear dresses and skirts, but am terrified of blinding the world with my phenomenally white legs. I feel happy about the warmer temperatures, but am terrified of the heat and humidity the summer heat waves have in store. Many people visit somewhere like Barnett Electrical: AC installation in Oklahoma City at this time of year in aticipation of the summer heat. Having air conditioning installed is a bit too organised for me though – I’m all over the place.

May is also a time of renewal and growth and I have discovered my love for gardening in recent years. I love to watch as the trees change from their winter’s sleep to a summer’s glorious green. I get excited waiting for the first bulbs to blossom and as the weather gets warmer everything blooms like a wave. Each waiting before taking its turn.

I think the clover took in the back yard! Yippiiiii! There are definitely some positive signs of three leafed growth and this makes me tremendously happy. Especially considering the white clover has a 40% failure rate. Keep ’em fingers crossed though, we’re not quite out of the woods yet!

I need these dudes in my life.

In May, the sun hangs out longer in the evenings, sitting all pretty-like in the horizon shining directly into bear’s room *. He doesn’t seem too bothered by the sun. He’s got rolly blinds and penguin curtains from my childhood, but something has changed his sleep habits this May. We keep finding him curled up on the glider in his room. Usually he’s got company too; a soft toy or two or five and blanket or two. Once he was under the seat cushion (which is actually meant for an IKEA sunchair!). So bizarre!
(* not that we’ve really had any sunny evenings.)

Imagine the cushion folded over him, that’s how I found him, snoring away!

That’s Lulu Rose, Bear’s bulldog under his butt!

Speaking of sleep… our beautiful hammock is nearing its end as a place of sleep for Lion. He’s getting too big and strong. It’s been a worthwhile investment and I cannot imagine ever parting with it. Lion sleeps there for a nap a day or so. He has also successfully been night weaned and I forgot to mention anything, because it was so uneventful.

I can’t tell if this engraved stone I found at a local park is sweet or scary.
Oh May,
you have once again really confused me this year!

treeplanters: we were lovers in a dangerous time.

May 15, 2011 by mama lola

this is how it all began…

falling in love over a cocktail.

10 years ago, on may 16th, 2001 an adorable, bleached blonde guy wearing, picture it, black long-johns with plaid flannel boxers over top and a big ol’ yellow terricloth puma t-shirt kissed me for the first time. he then escorted me back to my tent in the woods and without asking moved in… for the next two months! little did i know he was also moving into my heart and my life.

forever.

that’s the story of how dear hubby and i met in the early months of the summer in 2001. the romance began about 100km’s north of an already northern ontario town called, thunder bay. we were at a camp filled with about seventy young, beautiful, hardy folk there to plant trees. man, those were some freakin’ awesome days and nights. the party nights at planting were the kind of parties that well, no city slicker could ever imagine. kinda like, “what happens in vegas, stays in vegas”, same idea with planting.

the mess tent at night; where we ate, hung out, partied.

treeplanting changed me. this job, this experience really helped me navigate through some typical early twenties “who am i and where am i going?” stuff. it also brought me back to the forest, which i so missed while living in the big city. and it provided an opportunity for me to challenge myself physically, emotionally and intellectually. there were days when i wanted to quit and run away, but my friends and my crew boss, jb, kept me going. there is no place to hide at planting. there is no room, time or energy for facades or fakeness, the job is too demanding.
it’s all real.

the way of life is simple at planting. you work hard and party hard; four days on, one off. you sleep in a tent, your meals are provided for you as is your ride to work. you work all day, come back to camp, eat dinner, shower and go to bed. we got paid 8 cents (CAD) a tree, which back in those days was considered a great wage. the theory is the more you plant, the more cash you earn. and living expenses up there were minimal. we paid a camp fee, which covered our living costs at camp (food, gas etc).

here are a few links for more insight on planting and planters. here’s a how to and dictionary to planter lingo.

getting clean up in the woods was an impossibility as the dirt and soil of the land seeped into our rough, dry, cracked skin (and into our hearts). there was a shower tent at camp, but the showers were quick and mostly used to rinse off the larger chunks of dirt and that day’s bug dope. on our days off, camp would be mostly desolate as everyone would head into thunder bay. luckily for planters, t-bay has a very strong finnish heritage meaning there are public saunas. the routine was: first, we all did our laundry at frank’s laundromat and then people would head to the scan or the hoito or kangas. kangas is where we had our sauna. I’m sure many of you already have your own saunas at home, or have already started looking into reviews for them, for example, from Clever Leverage and other sites – Matt has done an exceptional job reviewing saunas.

each crew had their own van and that’s how we got to work.

these trailers is where we kept our “smellies”.

dinner in the mess tent, with some boxed wine! what a treat!

where we got our safe, clean drinking water.

we had black bears come and visit our camp. usually they showed up while we were all off at work on the block. the ministry of natural resources was called in to trap and move the bears far away. there were strict rules for everyone not to keep ANYTHING with a scent in their tents; no creams, bandages, gum, vitamins, condoms, food etc. bears have a keen sense of smell and as some people found out the hard way, a hungry bear looking for food can really damage a flimsy tent. some planters had their tents torn and ripped by a bear looking for smellies left in the tent. sometimes we saw bears or moose on our drive to work, which was always exciting. we also saw lots and lots of bugs; black flies and mosquitoes were attacking us all day, every day. the black flies loved to fly in your face and into your eyes. there were also deer flies that bit chunks out your flesh! dear hubby wore a bug net religiously over his hard hat, but i found it difficult to work like that, so my face was eaten. it felt like someone had written messages in braille on my face, because the bites were so dense!

at work.

dear hubby’s hands after a day out planting. we used duct tape to protect
our hands.

i knew he was the one right away. there was something different about him. at first we spent every non-working moment together and then eventually we worked together too. he was a fantastic planter, so focussed and determined meaning he didn’t waste his time chatting at the cache or smoking copious amounts of cigarettes like the rest of us. he bagged up and kept slamming them trees in the ground. he was initially thought to be a good influence on me and helped push me to become a better planter, but, then it became too distracting and we’d end up smooching in the clear cut for a while! then, we were placed in different crews!

our final party at camp- end of the season and time to head home.

but here we are, a decade later, with a house and a minivan and two little boys, still together. we talk about planting a lot and at spring time we get a bit nostalgic. dear hubby still has that ol’ yellow terricloth shirt and man o’ man, when he throws it on does it ever bring back memories of our first summer of love.

happy anniversary!

tea towel tutorial

May 15, 2011 by mama lola

this project is as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. embellishing tea towels is something people have been doing for a long time, but it’s what and how you do it that makes it fun. the window for creativity is huge on this project.

i started off by buying a pack of tea towels. then i sat on the floor with the towels and chose my fabrics, all the while trying to decide on a design. i searched the internet for ideas and instructions on how to do this. this is what i was going to do first, but when i saw these towels here i decided to go with the more elaborate design.

since the towels were going to the kids’ grandma and mummo for mother’s day, i wanted to personalize them and do something cute. dear hubby was in charge of tracing the kids’ hands, which from the sounds of it was one of the trickiest parts of the project!

materials:
– tea towels
– iron-on fabric adhesive
– scissors
– fabric
– thread
– pins & needles
– iron and flat surface to iron on

basic instructions:
1. choose design and fabrics for embellishment. cut out design.
2. iron your tea towels and fabrics well before starting. leave your iron out and plugged in!

3. once you have decided on a design, start cutting your iron-on fabric adhesive.
4. i sewed the thicker band that sits at the bottom of the towel at one end first and then ironed on the adhesive. then i sewed all around the other edges of the band.

5. if in your design you have something under your band/ ribbon iron on your adhesive before sewing the edges! i had my flower stems.
6. keep ironing your design and then sewing. i did the little hearts inside the hands by hand in a very loose and random stitch.

that’s really all there is to it. the more intricate your design, the longer it takes to sew. the little hands were a pain to sew with all the turns – stitch, foot up, turn fabric, foot down, stitch 4 stitches, foot up, turn fabric etc… you get the idea.

please share your ideas and projects with me!

mother’s day.

May 9, 2011 by mama lola

i have asked for silence in the past, but that’s a tricky gift to give with two kiddies. and with a nursing baby it’s not like i can be gone all day doing my own thing. so instead, dear hubby and the boys let me sleep in, which is pretty typical for any weekend morning. and when i say sleep in, i mean until 8am or so, but i didn’t have to tend to the kiddies at 6am and i’ll take that any day!

my boys got me a lens cap, which was one of those essential gifts; something i needed, but kept forgetting to get for myself. and yes, i lost my lens cap. i typically stash it in my pocket, but alas, a few weeks ago i must have left it out in the rain. i also received a lovely hydrangea bush. it’ll be a beautiful addition to our backyard. my favorite gift was some beautiful silk bedding that i’ve wanted for a while now. i’m always really uncomfy in bed so some new bedding was a great gift idea. my husband got me some silk pajamas for Christmas so I can’t wait to sleep in a silky heaven!

mmm…. ~~creeps~~ crepes with fruit and homemade strawberry/ blueberry jam for breakfast and of course the always important cup o’ java.

i gave my mom and my MIL embellished tea towels as gifts. first we traced the kids’ hands and then i got to work cutting and sewing and ironing and cutting and sewing and ironing… it was actually a really great project and something i will do again! i will do up a tutorial this week.

here we are, three mothers and bear without lion as he was snoozing away. all the excitement exhausted the wee lad.

my dad got my mom a mediterranean cruise. it was a surprise and something she has been talking about for a while. they won’t be going until my mom’s birthday in november, but there a lot of details to plan so best to start early!

there was lots of driving and loading and dumping of rocks. as usual. bear is always at work.

we had yummy sushi for dinner and lion LOVED it. he devoured the avocado rolls, but i think his favourite was the simple, but tasty (raw) salmon sashimi.

my first mother’s day with lion and as a mother of two beautiful, amazing boys. i am so proud to be their äiti and can’t imagine what my life would be like without them.

oh wait…. it would be quiet.

mother’s day eve.

May 7, 2011 by mama lola

reclining mother and child by paula modersohn-becke.

tomorrow is mother’s day or äitienpäivä.
we have tentatively invited both sets of grandparents over for a wee afternoon tea party. there will be tasty desserts, an array of teas to choose from and of course this mama’s most important drink: coffee. the weather looks warm and sunny, which will be a nice change from the soggy rain.

wishing all the mamas out there a wonderful mother’s day or hyvää äitienpäivää!!

gibberish.

May 5, 2011 by mama lola

my bear speaks in gibberish. it wouldn’t be such a big deal and worth writing about if the kid wasn’t so bloody annoying with it. he talks in gibberish to everyone and it is especially annoying when i am trying to get some information from him. for example, “do you want milk or water with dinner” and in response i hear “ablibaba digadogy”. i know, i know he’s three and this behaviour is normal and it too will pass and he’ll outgrow and forget all about it. i know he’s probably looking for a reaction from me and pushing my buttons or he’s regressing as his baby brother speaks in baby talk and we all respond as though we understand.

it’s frustrating because bear is very articulate. when he talks in english his vocabulary is extensive; i say this with obvious bias in mind but, others have also commented on his language skills. his finnish is not strong and that’s my fault (insert a million kilos of mother’s guilt here). but back to the gibberish… i’m not really sure what to do about it. it is infuriating when i am trying to talk to him or ask him something and i hear “are you bilagie sihd bibibibib-ta?”. argh: hear mama roar! and the weird thing is, he doesn’t use random sounds, it’s like he’s made his own language as he makes the same sounds over and over again, which eventually we have come to recognize.

we adore window markers. we have one of those all glass storm doors and have been trying to use the cool, rainy days creatively. drawing and colouring are two activities that bear loves, and on this creative afternoon lion did some serious bold strokes with a yellow marker! so fantastic!

and after the rain…

… the glorious sun was out all day warming and shining down on us. we took full advantage of this weather phenomenon and spent most of the day outside. we even left dirty lunch dishes in the sink to be dealt with later! this spring has been very wet and rainy, so it’s been hard to get outside. now, don’t get all “if you dress them right” on me, because yes, we have rain gear and do go out in the rain, but it’s hard because of my non-walking, shuffling around on his butt lion. the rain is difficult for him to manage. so, today we played hard in the sun making up for lost outdoor time!

pasta lunch!

bear is going though a fire fighter stage. he has been playing fire fighter at home, building trucks out of furniture and pillows. i am often told i am a fire fighter as well. bear’s imaginative play is exploding right now, so it was fun today to go and check out some local emergency vehicles on display at the rec centre. it was really hard to take pictures as lion was in the sling, but here is one with the local electrical vehicle and bear standing proudly with his fire chief helmet on. so cute! he was terrified of the actual fire truck and when he was asked if he wanted to check out the inside he panicked. oh well, next time!

if anyone has any earth shaking ideas on how to get over this darn gibberish phase, please share your wisdom with me. i am losing my mind and cool.

thanks.

flowers are to be admired.

May 3, 2011 by mama lola

we had a wonderful relaxing weekend just the four of us. we went on a mini adventure to explore a local garden nursery. we walked through all the various sections in the glorious sunlight, soaked in the warmth pouring down on us. walking through the rows of pansies, violets, geraniums, mums and whole slew of other beautiful flowers, it really got my fingers itchy for the earth’s soil. it’s still a bit too cold to plant anything into the ground where we are. However, if and when it warms up, I can’t wait to plant some beautiful flowers and plants. I’ve already been looking into some plant pots from RediRoot that offer plenty of room for the plants roots and aeration to produce a well branched, fibrous root system for a healthy plant. bear kept commenting on the bright colours and interesting shapes the flowers presented; he is already an avid gardener able to recognize a small handful of flowers, like brown eyed susans.

the nursery had some funky garden statues on sale for $159.99 that bear became enamoured of. look, they’re the same size!

bear’s new dwarf buddies.

when we got home we maintained our gardening groove. after a veggie dog lunch outside we got to work. my guys built a wonderful path from the patio to the shed. I am determined to spend more time in our garden and especially using the shed, after we were advised on getting some solar shed lights to help light our outside space. our hope is to save the grass a bit as the lawn area is quite muddy, and to be honest, I don’t like how it makes the rest of the garden look. Fortunately, my friend had this problem of her own recently, and decided to have this Installation de Tourbe, or Installation of Peat, added to her garden instead. As a result, her high quality natural lawn can now be easily maintained, as well as looking perfect surrounded by her garden shed and flowers. But, we really do want to try and save the bit of grass that we have. Either that or we’re going to somehow look at more space for another shed from the likes of EasyShed Garden Shed manufacturers and enjoy oursevelves some more gardening storage. we bought some white clover to see into the lawn as it is quite low maintenance. unfortunately it has 40% failure rate for getting it going, so fingers crossed everyone!

eventually i hope to plant lots of shade loving plants, like hostas, into that space by the fence as it is quite covered by the trees during the day. if anyone has any suggestions of other shade loving plants that require minimal rays and minimal work, i would appreciate the help.

in the ergo with daddy.

my littlest cub had a tough weekend. although he enjoyed his time watching his big brother dance with dwarfs and build a path, his teething pain kept him quite sensitive. lion would instantly cry if he was set on the grass or floor, so dear hubby and i took turns holding him. i did most of the holding, since with teething comes a lot of nursing! but, this is the strange part: lion is teething his first incisor, which is weird as he does not have any of his other top teeth!

~~~~~~~~~

* in reference to recent events, i will leave you with a quote i saw on a friend’s facebook profile today and wanted to share it with you here. we here in canada are settling into the night wondering what tomorrow brings. it is, after all, federal election night.

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King, Jr

here and now: i feel…

May 1, 2011 by mama lola

new month. feels like a new chapter.

i want to take this opportunity to send out some love to the various supporters of my blog. i have started to accept sponsors and there are a handful of buttons on the blog from some small, mama businesses. please check out their services or products and help support mama-preneurs!

i love lists. writing them thrills me and brings a sense of satisfaction. ‘to do’ lists are my faves, especially when i can have sub-categories and doodles with arrows and stars for added emphasis or clarity. here is a list of where my heart is at.

here and now:
i feel proud of my bear wearing his glasses like a champ.
i feel scared for our future. i remain hopeful, but the nerves are kicking in. pow!
i feel sad that roo is gone. i miss him every day.
i feel irritated with the rain. although, i know now in may i will be grateful.
i feel exhausted looking at the windows around the house that need to be washed.
i feel regret that i am not pursuing a more creative life. .
i feel envious of others. it’s that whole the grass is greener thing messing with me.
i feel lucky to have my friends.
i feel love for my cubs and dear hubby.
i feel like for myself. augh… related to the aforementioned note above regarding greener pastures. like may not be love, but sure is better than
where i was a while ago.

you can.

April 30, 2011 by mama lola

here is something inspiring to get your weekend started. after the week i have had, i am in need of some serious inspiration. the dripping has stopped, but lion is teething some sharp ones and is feeling restless.

you can

: laugh again after unspeakable loss. joy will wind it’s way around scars that will never unknot within you – like smiling ivy warming tree roots.

: triple your income. jump a “class bracket”. pay cash. never worry again about if you have enough money to do what you want.

: be one week from filing divorce papers and see that he’s the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. (oh yes, I know of what I speak.)

: get over not getting what you thought you wanted to get but never got from your parents – because at some point, you need to get on with getting what you want in the here and now. (give your folks a break.)

: have never walked a full mile and become one of those people who not only runs many miles but LOVES to run. This happens, I’ve heard tell.

: where you used to fill space and time to avoid the terror of stillness, you can actually rest in the peace of your radiant mind. calm permeating.

: come out of the closet, stand in front of your family, and commit to the one you love in full colour and pride.

: lose the weight – permanently. yes, forever.

: hug the person who you sold you down the river when you run into her on the street years later — and mean it.

: start.

: finish.

: cure yourself.

: melt into love.

truly,

you

can.

read it here.

loved it in my soul.

shared it.

HAPPY DAYS.