bear & lion

here's a peek into the highs and woes of our life

my body is screaming at me.

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My left knee has been hurting all day. I put my brace on for extra support, but i know i need more than that. I’ve had knee issues for a while, and they stem back to treeplanting over a decade ago. But, after two pregnancies, two births, carrying my kids, breastfeeding them and all that other stuff that mama’s do for their kids, my body is screaming for attention. And it’s LOUD! And yes, my knee pain is connected to breastfeeding, as all your muscles are somehow joined to each other, as are your nerves. I’ve been hunched over for so long, tightening my shoulders, by back, which has now travelled down to my knee. The knee pain is not new and comes and goes. A friend recommended that to treat the symptoms of my knee pain, I should consider a CBD vape. She then suggested I visit this website to find a vape pen that I could use often so I would have regular pain relief. When starting yoga because of the tightness of my entire body at this point, it was painful to get started. So some CBD could help change that. Now when I get to the Y and yoga regularly it feels better. One of my friends who suffers from knee pain has also recommended this knee compression brace from Amazon to me and I must admit, I’m tempted to give it a try.

[ bear (6.5 months) and i in finland, after we got my finnish citizenship in order. even though i was born there and my mama is a finn, i only held canadian citizenship until 2008. the law was such at the time of my birth, that the child took the father’s citizenship. i was so happy on this afternoon in september 2008 to finally be a finn! now, i can travel with my finnish EU-passport! ]


i went to a highly recommended chiropractor in town, who basically told me that the left side of my body is more messed than my right, but who are we kidding, my whole spine area is a huge ball of messed up mess!
when bear was a baby i carried him in a sling, but was pretty good at switching sides. when lion was a baby, i only carried him on one side. sure, i used the ergo and eventually carried him on my back, but i’ve always been a sling mama, and now that my babies are no longer babies i am really feeling that pain and paying the price of all of that one sided carrying!
my chiro was so kind and reassured me that although my initial scans weren’t great, they weren’t horrific either, and that there is lots of potential to get my body to where it should be. she also sent me for x-rays, as a precaution, especially after my pituitary gland tumour history. her and i will discuss those images on friday.

[ the dudes and i at hillside, 2011 ]


i feel like this year, i have slowly started to harness back some control of my body again. i lost it to my kids years ago and then my tumour, but now i am slowly finding ways to really nurture it again. i was going to the gym regularly in the winter and spring, but completely fell off the wagon in the summer. now, i am ready to get back into that routine as well.

my body is screaming for attention, and finally, i feel like i can give it what it needs.
finally!

how’s your self care?

xo, mama lola

family party!

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yesterday we had a family party, with friends. there were fancy summer drinks made by papa-A and some tasty soda similar to this DRY Botanical Bubbly, the summer breeze, we ordered pizza from the local place down the street, the kids ran through this awesome sprinkler ball thing, and the laughs just kept on coming.


it was such a great evening and a perfect way to round out the last nights of summer. the big kids are starting school soon and it really is the beginning of something new, not just a new season with the leaves changing colour, but a new stage in all of our lives. a new stage in mothering, in growing up, and in finding new routines as a family.

so for now, i am soaking it all up, enjoying these last few days of freedom to their fullest with my big bear, my lion, my family and my friends.

we’re off to a school party this afternoon. a neighbourhood mama is hosting a party for some of the JK kids and their families to meet before school officially starts. i am excited to expand my community and my village.

how are you spending your long-weekend?

xo, mama lola

greenbelt harvest picnic.

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what a day we had yesterday at the music festival. 
we arrived in the heat of the day, with sweat dripping as we made our way from the parking, through security and finally to our friends. once we got settled dear hubby went and got us a few necessary beers to cool our faces and nerves.
all of the kids got into some fast chasing game, and then they convinced a couple of the dads to throw them up in the air! what fun!

the music was amazing! gord downie from the hip sung with the sadies and he was great. i didn’t really get to watch him, but i did listen closely, as we were trying to have some smashed potatoes, tomato salad and sweet potato burrito for dinner. but the highlight for the day was mix master mike, for sure. dear hubby and i danced as though we were twenty again! some of the kids joined in and busted a move too, and some parents too, it was such fun.

too many pics to individually post…


listening to to the mix master mike’s samples confirmed for me that i will never see the beastie boys in concert again. adam yauch’s recent passing really hit home and i got sad. but, i kept dancing, even though i felt tired and old! he was awesome! then we headed to the pond for a quick dip to cool down. after that the kids sat in the chariot, ate pretzels, while we walked around checking out some vendors. 
the kids ran around with glow sticks, as emmy lou harris sang beautifully. it was such a lovely evening! i strolled over and watched the incredible artistry on the silks.

hamilton aerial group- HAG


before the final act, feist, came on we said bye to our friends and cozied up the kids back into the chariot and walked. they feel asleep quickly, as the temperature dropped and the dew settled on the grass. i was feeling cold and tired, so dear hubby got us some fancy grilled cheeses, which were incredible! we only heard feist play two songs, and then we decided it was time for us to head home. i was cold, i had a headache, and we were so, so tired.

our day was so great, and our lovely friends are all talking about doing it all over again next year and i can’t wait! 

(if anyone is interested, CBC radio did a complete recording of the festival. if i find a link i will post it)

xo, mama lola

i am fortunate.

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i am feeling rather happy in this moment right now.
i often whine and complain, and bitch and vent about the kids and life on here, but today i want to do the complete opposite. i want to send out some love and gratitude to my village.

when bear was a baby, dear hubby was a full-time student and i was new mama, and we were broke. so broke, that it kinda surprises me that we even survived! my in-laws gave us a house to live in, and we managed to get some geico homeowners insurance for it, but it was not in our own city, so we moved half-an hour away. the house was big and happened to be the house dear hubby grew up in, but it was converted into a rental property for students. I can understand why people decide to invest in rental properties as people are always in need of them, especially students. I think if I was to invest in a property, I would make sure that it was a turnkey real estate as that means all you’d have to do is “turn the key” to your property as it will be ready for your residents to move into. How easy? Anyway, we lived (without the students) there for almost two years. and although i am forever grateful to my in-laws for letting us live there so cheaply, i was very unhappy there. i had no community of my own there. i left my MAMA friends and that village of support behind, in order to survive financially. sure, i drove in sometimes to see people, but that was tricky and time consuming.


this is where my g-town lovin’ started!

[ this is my baby group. we would take over a cafe on thursday mornings for much needed coffee and support! look at all the strollers! oh my! so much has changed since this picture was taken. families have moved away, siblings added, various health struggles have come to light, more tattoos have been inked, hair colours changed and some of us have formed tighter friendships within the larger group. but a group we are, and we still hold a bit of a reputation in town, which i discovered last night! lucky ladies! ]


when we bought our house (after a friend had so much luck getting theirs through UpNest) and moved back to our beloved city, i worked hard to re-create and expand my village and community here. now, i have lots of mama friends who expand beyond the baby group. mama’s i’ve scooped up into my network via activities the kids have been involved in.with kids at similar ages of development, who i can turn to for support in times of need. my kids have friends to play with and we have lots of other families to do various fun things with. as a SAHM i find the adult interaction vital to my sanity, and having different people to visit and see is such an important part of our lives.
we are so fortunate to have a village to help raise our boys.
we are so fortunate to be involved in a wonderful community.
especially since bear is starting school in a few weeks, and the transition is going to be tough for this mama!

i want to send a sincere and heartfelt hug to you all.

source


that being said, i do want to also send a shout out to my out-of-town supports as well. you are just as important and necessary to us.
we have enough love for everyone.

xo, mama lola

i had dreams of harry and nightmares of my kids!

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 [ source ]


funny really, dreaming about british royalty! i don’t even remember what happened in the dream, hopefully there was some nude frolicking and lots of laughter and joy! i’m guessing he appeared in my state of slumber, as he has really been all over the media after some nude photo’s of him were given to the press.
i say good on ya mate, as long as everyone is safe, there’s nothing wrong with some naked romping. and why does everyone care anyway…

moving onto my princes…
my youngest guy is really pushing my buttons lately. he has turned into a loud screaming toddler whose ears don’t work anymore. it is so frustrating! he screams for attention, whether from me, or his older brother or from his dad. he screams at dinner, at bedtime, at play time, during a diaper change, so always really. the only time he doesn’t scream is if he’s watching “kipper” on netflix. unfortunately, it feels like the behaviour is only getting worse each day, so i’m now counting down to september and the start of school. the walls of our house are caving in a bit for all of us, i think, and we need a change. some space. air.

[ i added the fancy blur to mask my scary red face and massive nostril.]

the kids need to be separated, which i’m sad to say, but they need some time away from each other so that they will miss each other. they are always together, which on one hand i think is very lucky, but now, it is turning into a disaster. the boys fight when it’s just the two of them; they egg each other on, trying to get the other one into trouble. the tattling that goes on around here is ridiculous! and because lion is only two, his understanding, although on one hand is great, is still limited,  frustrating bear even more.

i am despising the sound of my voice.
i say the same things a bazillion times a day. and i get louder as the day progresses.
we need a change.
a shift.

a picture of the art room window.


how do you deal with siblings at your house?

shall i be so lucky as to dream of more princess tonight, perhaps prince william?




xo, mama lola

(back) to school.

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tick-tock-tick-tock…
that is the sound of time going by too quickly! my kid is starting JK in a matter of weeks and i feel like i am not ready.

he will be getting THIS bag as his backpack from mountain equipment co-op. it’s a bit pricey;

i’m justifying it with the expectation that it will last longer than the cheap ones with various television and movie characters on them. plus, the school is strict about the size of bag and i think it fits their requirements, although it is a bit big for my lil’ bear. If I hadn’t bought this bag for him, I would have probably purchased this personalized photo backpack, not only due to their quality but because of their unique and special addition of having either his or a loved one’s face on it!

For now, though, I told him we could get some patches to decorate and personalize the bag.

we also ordered him a subscription to chirp magazine. i bought him one issue for our road trip and he loved it, and i think it’ll be a great way to make him feel big and special. who doesn’t love receiving mail?

and finally, we ordered some labels for all of his stuff for school. bear is pretty meticulous about his stuff, but he is only four after all and so easily distracted! now i just have to figure what kind of lunch bag to sew him.

this september bear is supposed to attend school full-time, but with the disastrous experience we had with the summer camps, i have decided to only send him three days a week. i think this is more reasonable and c’mon, it’s JK, which is not mandatory in the first place! his anxiety peeks during stress and separation from me, and i think come the holidays we will re-evaluate his attendance at school. maybe he will need more, maybe less.

he obviously doesn’t know yet that he will be attending fewer days than his peers and we will broach that conversation after school starts, i think. i don’t want to plant ideas in his head, i just want to answer his questions. bear has friends who are not attending daily, so it’ll make the discussion easier, i hope.

all of these transitions are so hard.

xo, mama lola

a summer wedding.

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our dear bubba and patty got married this weekend. it was one of the most beautiful weddings i have attended. the ceremony was held in a gorgeous church, steps away from the reception venue. the reception itself was beautiful, with flowers and candles, everything down to the last detail was perfect, they even had the most gorgeous linen for table cloths. The mood was so happy and it seemed as though nothing went wrong. as one of the co-MC’s, i knew from the start that things started a bit behind schedule, but hey, isn’t that kind of expected? whose ever been to a wedding that’s right on time?

here are some photo’s from a wedding weekend.
the wedding rehearsal on friday evening went great. the kids raced down the aisle when it was their turn to practice their walk, but at least they didn’t cry or scream!

bubba came to our house to get dressed with the kids. he brought with him a photographer that he found when he searched for wedding photography Virginia Beach companies that would later be the photographers for the whole day and actual wedding. considering the photographer unexpectedly came to my house, it made me feel very insecure about all the mess. oh well, so it goes. in the picture below, you can see bubba all dressed walking in the background. he looked so good!


our boys were the ring bearer’s and took the responsibility seriously. at the ceremony dear hubby walked down the aisle with them, but as we sat in the pews they were exceptionally quiet. this meant, dear hubby and i sat at the front able to witness the beautiful couple exchange vows. the ceremony was followed by communion, and that’s when we snuck out of the church to go have a bit of a picnic on the lawn.


unfortunately, i took no pictures of our family. no pictures of the bride and groom, my SIL and her family or my in-laws. there are no pictures of m co-MC and i. this is what happens when the family photographer is busy with other responsibilities! i’m hoping to collect some photo’s from other people and compile memories that way! They looked for a while to find the right photographer for their wedding, as they wanted their photos to look amazing with their own unique style, luckily they found someone who could deliver that. If you are stuck with finding a photographer, doing a quick google search can help you, an example of this, is typing in ‘wedding photographer Charlottesville‘ if you needed to find one in that general area, don’t despair you will find one!

it’s so fun to get dressed up sometimes, especially since it happens so rarely. the kids were such superstars and lasted late into the night. by 11:15pm, both kids were passed out so we hopped into a cab and came home. they slept through the night and even slept in a bit this morning, which was a first for the kids. with an early bedtime for all tonight, i think we’ll be as good as new to start our week tomorrow.



i will sign off this evening with my toast to the newly weds that got me all choked up last night:

“ i would like to make a toast. i feel honoured to be standing here in front all of you; the people dearest to patricia and blake. let us raise our glasses in celebration of this wonderful occasion… trish and blake i think i speak for everyone here when i say we wish you the very best in love, in life, together as husband and wife. to trish and blake…


xo, mama lola

lazy days.

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it’s funny how far our big trip already feels. we’ve only been home a few days!

we’ve been laying low at home, playing with our toys and trying to find a familiar routine again. the weather is wet, dark and gloomy outside, which is helping justify all our inside time. although, we have made time to see friends, everything has felt very low key, which is what this mama needs right about now. we all need to charge our batteries for the wedding this weekend; friday is the rehearsal at the church and then a dinner and saturday is the wedding. that’s a lot for my two guys. and me.

got my hair done today for the wedding. i dyed it the “OMBRE” way, which i just love, love, love. my version is a bit more subtle compared to some edgier peeps, but i do love it! i can’t remember the last time i dyed my hair professionally, shocking, eh? i took the plunge as i love my hairdresser and she gets my low-maintenance needs, and never pushes any products on me. she’s amazing!


kids up in bed for stories.
time to pull out the sewing machine and work on the wedding stuff. i will post pics when the bow ties and ring bearer pillows are done.

happy tuesday everyone!

xo, mama lola

bear at camp.

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bear has been attending a summer day camp this week. leading up to this week i knew the morning drop-offs would be difficult, but i didn’t realize they would be as extreme as they have been. 
on monday morning bear was screaming and crying on our way to the car from our house. the few steps it takes to walk to the driveway were stressful and full of “i don’t wanna go’s”. at camp i had to drag him to the school door, while carrying lion and trying to say hello to the camp staff. it was one of those moments where i just wanted to scoop up the kids and run and hide but, since that wasn’t going to happen, i brought bear inside as he was still crying, and tried to introduce him to the terrified looking staff. i tried to get him involved in an activity and i tried to hang up his bag. but he had none of it.


eventually i just left. at his preschool the motto was “a quick good-bye and a long hello”, which worked well there with two educated teachers who expected upset kids in the first few weeks of school. but, this camp is run by a small neighbourhood group, with one adult and a handful of teens running the day to day, who are great, but ill equipped to deal with the anxiety bear presented with.


on monday when i got outside from leaving my screaming bear with a bunch of strangers, i myself, burst into a heavy sob of tears. the whole drop off process was incredibly stressful, upsetting and i was so on edge. i phoned dear hubby and he said he would do the drop off the following day. fine.
then some other mama’s came out and calmed me down and brought me back to reality. gotta love the mama support!!!
at the end of the day at pick up he was delighted to see me and told me had had a great time with his friends. phew! maybe this was going to be ok, i thought.


so, tuesday dear hubby dropped bear off at camp. there was some protesting at home, but really compared to monday it was easy as pie. and apparently at the camp, he was clingy, but didn’t cry and eventually let go of dad.


then on wednesday i was feeling hopeful (silly me) that things would be better as it was my turn to do camp drop off again. but no. bear cried and carried on and on at camp. eventually, again, i left feeling terrible and feeling the weight of the guilt draped over my shoulders and again wanted to run and hide under a rock.
maybe i was all wrong; maybe bear really wasn’t ready for camp and maybe i should have just kept him at home. i hated the looks the other parents were giving me and i hated being labelled “that mom” or “that crying kids mom”. not that anyone was saying anything bad, but when your kid is the only one freaking out, it just kinda happens!


today, thursday, the plan at camp was to take the kids on a city bus to the art factory (where we went with friends, see pics HERE). bear was super excited about going on a bus and since it was dear hubby’s turn to do drop off again, i sat at home waiting anxiously to hear what happened. when dear hubby phoned, he said in a very smug voice that there were no tears and no clingyness and bear was fine. i was so relieved to hear my guy was fine, but was so mad at dear hubby for his smug tone on the phone. i ended the call quickly! ha! 


tomorrow is bear’s last day of camp and he sounds pretty excited about going. he is happy he gets to bring home the tie dye pillow case he made, the fish he crafted and who knows what else! i am glad the camp week is coming to a close, because the stress of it has been too much for me!
phew. we survived, but barely.
serenity now.


i have no pictures from this week. i wanted to get pictures from camp, but for obvious reasons was not able to get my camera out. so it goes.


peace.



xo, mama lola

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