my room. my quiet.

February 3, 2013 by mama lola

i had to set up some strict rules for this weekend. as you may know, i was super sick last week and eventually on thursday i went to my doctor who confirmed my fears, yes it’s a sinus infection. we were supposed to see my folks this weekend, but my mom told me i had to stay home, in bed and rest. i laughed and told her my family wasn’t going to let me sleep and rest, even though that’s what i needed. she told to be firm and just do it. so i tried it.

saturday morning i slept in until about 9am. slowly made my way downstairs, had a coffee, took my killer antibiotic, watched as the guys got dressed and left the house with the promise of not returning until lunch. so, i had a hot shower and then crawled back into my bed with a book.

i read my book. the house was quiet. the house was still.
i soaked it all in feeling content. and proud.
proud that i had stood up for myself.

asking for time for myself is hard. even when i am sick. i remember when i was recovering from my tumour surgery, how guilty i felt for asking for help, for wanting to sleep, for feeling unwell and so i never spoke up for myself the way i should have. now, with hindsight in my pocket i feel embarrassed for not meeting my own needs and trying to minimize the hugeness of the surgery. but, that’s what i do. i never give importance, or time or value to things related to my life. i brush things away easily, so as not to worry other people out or hurt their feelings.

but, i am changing all of that now. i deserve to be taken care of as well, just like my dear hubby and the kids do when they are feeling sick. i deserve to sleep, to not have to make every single meal, to have some peace and quiet. i have to realize that my family is not the type who just recognizes my needs; i have to explicitly ask for what i need, in a very demanding kind of way. and, that’s ok. and, maybe if i do it enough one day the guys will recognize that i need some recovery time and will provide that for me, without me having to ask.
or not.

hope you were able to find peace in your weekend.

this moment.

February 1, 2013 by mama lola

as inspired by souleMama; one photo from our week, no words, only an image to sum up our time as a family. one that captures a moment in time and is a visual reminder of where we were at this moment. feel free to leave a link from your moment this week.

my foggy week.

February 1, 2013 by mama lola

i am the mom. that means if i get sick, i don’t get time off and things still have to happen around the house. i still have to do the groceries, make dinner, wipe the counters, vacuum shuffle the kids around, all the while trying to keep my head somewhat clear.

this week i was sick. for days it felt as though my head was going to explode, like my left eye was going to pop out, like the teeth on the left side of my face were going to fall out and like i was never going to feel healthier. ever again. my head was so congested; a congested i had never experienced before.

on monday, i went grocery shopping with my lion. i spent over a hundred dollars on stuff, but i have no idea what i purchased. all week i have been scrambling to make dinner, as the ingredients i bought have not really come together in any sort of meal. i also bought moldy cheese, that was disappointing! but, that’s how thick the fog has been in my head.

i tried taking various pills and cocktails of medicines to clear the fog, to dull the pain and take away the constant throb in my head, but nothing really helped. i rinsed my sinuses with my netti pot, only to be frightened by the sight of the junk that was coming out of head (i will spare you the details).

as the week progressed, the fog just got worse, as did the pain. on wednesday, i curled into bed at 5:30pm a minute after dear hubby walked in the door and could take over dinner with the boys. i lay in bed feeling completely sorry for myself, worrying about all the things that did not need my attention at that time. i did eventually fall asleep for a little while. after the kids were asleep in their beds, i made my way downstairs, almost in tears. dear hubby made me tea and held me and let me feel sorry for myself. at 9pm that night i realized i had not eaten anything that day, so dear hubby made me a little snack. when i’m the one who is sick, my self care is obviously not my number one priority, my family and their needs remains my top priority; that’s wrong!

one day after bear’s swimming lessons, i was so foggy in my head, i tried to get into someone else’s car with the kids… AS THE FAMILY WAS PILING IN ON THE OTHER SIDE! no wonder the key didn’t work!

on thursday, i finally made an appointment with our family doctor who confirmed that i had a sinus infection and the pains i was feeling were completely expected. she said she would give a prescription for antibiotics, since i’d been sick for so long, but that the side effects would probably be pretty harsh. as in a week long belly ache, among other things. great!

[ kids working on cards for grandpa’s birthday, this week. ]

now, it is now friday morning, and i am relieved the weekend is here. it means dear hubby will be around to help with the kids, maybe i’ll be able to squeeze in a nap, maybe get some laundry folded, maybe i will finally start to feel better. maybe this fog that has been confusing the pants off of me for days will finally start to clear.

frida kahlo was a phenomenal woman.

January 29, 2013 by mama lola

the other week i had a special date with my dad. we went to the art gallery to see the frida kahlo and diego rivera exhibit.
it was stunning.
just breathtaking.

frida lived such an incredible life, one which she documented so beautifully through her art. her life was vibrant and bold full of tragedies, love, lust; full of political and emotional turmoil and a love for her homeland of mexico unlike anything else.

when i was eighteen i went to mexico with my mom. we travelled around the country, never staying in a resort, but instead immersing ourselves into the culture. it helped that we had friends there who took us in and took us around. but, we did travel on our own as well, seeing all sorts of beautiful sights: mayan pyramids, beaches of glorious white sand where we were the only tourists.

in mexico city we saw some diego rivera’s famous mural’s at the presidential palace. they were huge and astounding! his magic with murals is jaw dropping and mind boggling!

we also visited the famous house that frida and diego shared, la casa azul, the blue house. their love of history, bold colours, textures and art were all on display in this fascinating house. what a treat to see this place!

at the art gallery of ontario you are not allowed to take pictures of some of the art, something about copyright laws or something. i don’t really understand as when we were at MOMA in NYC, we took pictures of the big hits by van gogh, picasso, monet and other’s.

check out my handsome date!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

blueberry & strawberry muffins.

January 28, 2013 by mama lola

lion and i baked some yummy muffins. i love to have his help in the kitchen. he is so determined to mix and stir everything for me! so sweet!

this time i used blueberries and strawberries, but i have also used pears, apples, dried cranberries, dried apricots and banana’s in this recipe. really just depends what you have on hand, and what flavours you want to mix together. the recipe calls for 1/2 cup of sugar, which i think is a bit much, so i often reduce that and add some extra fruit. delish!

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup rolled oats
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg (or egg replacer of choice)
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter
1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 fruit finely chopped

muffin cups. i prefer the aluminum ones as they peel off of the baked muffins so much easier.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. preheat oven to 400F.
2. add dry ingredients to a bowl. then, add the wet ingredients. mix well together.
3. add fruit to mix and stir.
4. place muffin cups into the pan. then add muffin dough into the cups. put a thinly sliced strawberry on top, as a decorative touch!
5. bake until your fork comes out clean, about 15-20 minutes.
6. let cool before taking a yummy bite!

happy baking!

my new [zen] journey.

January 27, 2013 by mama lola

mothering, parenting, fathering, caring whatever you call it, whatever it looks like to you, is tough stuff!

i’ve been quite open about my constant, internal battles as a mama. i’ve shared my struggles with the ever present weight of my own mother’s guilt, my feelings of total and complete inadequacy, my ever present worries about not being enough to my kids and then there’s the whole regrets boat that i’ve jumped aboard!

but this year, 2013, was or i mean is going to be one of change for me. things have already shifted, but to make big changes, one has to be patient and that’s where i’m at. you can read more about my new year’s resolutions HERE and my soul searching thoughts HERE.

a friend of mine recommended a fantastic book after reading one of my recent new year posts. it’s by karen maezen miller and it’s called Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood. check out her blog HERE. (and, WOW mamaA, talk about being exactly what i need right now.)

this book is hitting all of my struggles bang on. BANG ON. karen describes the yes common, but the deeply personal pains it takes to be a mama. the way all of our pre-existing boundaries and expectations are being pushed and twisted and morphed into something unexpected and unknown. the way us mother’s are placed on opposing sides of this mamahood thing just by the philosophy we choose to follow, creating negative competition when we should be supporting each other. the way, even after newborns grow into infancy and infants into toddlers, our role and job as a mother never goes away, there is no option to quit.

it’s the kind of book i should have purchased for myself, because all i want to do is sit there with a highlighter and mark the things i feel are true to me.

who can’t relate to this:

“Exhaustion made me brittle. A silent rage billowed and foamed against the sudden loss of everything mine- my body, my time, my space and, my life. “

“… but where exactly does this thing called a mistake take place? Only in our mind- our judging, critical, labelling mind. The mind that provides the nonstop narrative to our lives: “There you go again. Can’t get it right. You’ll never do it. Big mistake.”

i am not a religious person, but i did relate to the spiritual aspect of this book. i should mention that karen is a zen teacher. she has studied buddhism and meditation, and shares those teachings in this book. the calm, wise words she speaks are very profound. the clarity with which i read this book, says to me that my struggles that attribute to my children and my mothering are not really about either of those things.
my struggles come from within me.
they are about me and nobody else.

and that’s why, like i’ve written before, i am on a mission to introduce more self care into my life. take time for myself and slowly make myself a priority in my life and my family’s life.

i highly, highly recommend this book to all mother’s (and father’s or caregivers). the advice and knowledge karen shares is relevant, practical and given in such unpatronizing way that it is easy to hear. this is a book for parents in all stages of their journey. i will now have to hit the local bookstore and buy my own copy so i can highlight the bits that spoke most to me.

*the pictures are of tulips given to me by a dear old friend who came to visit. they brought such life and positive energy into our daily drudgery! thanks, hon!

birthday invitations :: a DIY craft

January 26, 2013 by mama lola

bear is turning the big five-o-roonie in a few weeks!!!
valentine’s day to be exact.

and what almost-five-year-old doesn’t want to have a birthday party with their friends?! of course i went on pinterest looking for birthday invitation ideas, but nothing sprang out at me. so, bear and i designed our own little invitations. so cute, perfect project for him to help with and easy enough for that it didn’t turn into some all consuming time sucker!

here’s how we made ’em!

MATERIALS:

colourful paper or card stock
scissors
pencil
glue
markers, sparkle pens, whatever really.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. choose a picture of the birthday prince or princess. get copies made.
2. decide on the colour, size and shape of party hats. once i made one that was the right size, i traced it and cut out the rest of the party hats from the card stock.
3. decorate party hats. bear did the decorating and he loved it. we kept it simple, but you could add pompoms or glitter or whatever, really!
4. glue the decorated party hats on to the heads. let dry.
5. then i loosely traced the backs of the photo heads, cut the traced heads out of card stock and glued them on to the backs of the photo’s. this way we could write on regular paper, than the slippery photo paper.

have fun making your own invitations!

still can’t believe he’s going to be 5!!!!
what?!
i’ll be writing my sappy post about being this guys mama closer to the big day.

this moment.

January 25, 2013 by mama lola

to healthier times!

January 24, 2013 by mama lola

* let me make it clear, i am not a trained health care provider or healer of any kind. i am a mama with a few suggestions that may help others with their sick families. please consult your health care provider. *

whatever sickness came a’knocking at our door last friday, sure has over stayed it’s welcome! It obviously then spread to us other folk who are struggling to get back to normal after being hit with the bug. Luckily we get paid when having time off work due to illness, as a result of the paid sick leave laws in the US. But hopefully we won’t have to worry about that again for a while! Anyway, this is how it started.

it hit our littlest lion fast and furiously! he was lethargic, developed a high fever, stopped eating and started puking. all weekend, dear hubby and i took turns holding the poor kid, as he was so clingy.
then on monday evening, it was bear’s turn. he had the usual super drippy eyes, fever, but luckily no puking! and then, it was dear hubby who was knocked down. it’s kind of unbelievable how all four of us have been kicked on to our butts, but the real shocker is that dear hubby has been kicked the worst. this is a guy who never gets sick, ever. he suffers terribly in the spring with seasonal allergies, but it is very unlike him to get sick. and then to kick things into more unusual territories, i am the one who has been barely affected. sure, i had a little fever in the night, and i’ve been sniffly and achy, but i have not looked like the living dead, like my dear hubby. he’s been sleeping a lot. he’s even missed a couple of days of work, which he does like, never!

there are a few tricks that i have compiled that help us get through these snotty times. sure, there are more, but the ones listed below are my top six. they are all kid and pet friendly and easy on the bank account! some of our tried and tested more natural remedies to fight sickness at our house include:

don’t forget the top three obvious ones:
1. keep washing AND moisturizing your hands.
2. change your tooth brush once you start to feel better.
3. do not share drinks, cutlery, toothbrushes or sloppy wet kisses with those who are sick.

i am so ready for good health to come knocking on our door tomorrow. maybe hubby and i should consider taking some dietary supplements that can boost our digestion and energy, and in the long run help fight these minor illnesses. one of my friends had read these activatedyou reviews and suggested that i get a regular supplement routine as well. i’m going to leave that for another day, but for now i am so ready to hear the laughter and fighting of my boys, instead of the zombied silence of a fever coma and the constant dull whining. i want my children to look and feel energized and to enjoy their days, instead of wasting away watching mindless television. i want their eyes to sparkle, instead being glazed with sickness.

i want the energy in the house to change, from lethargy to one of positive spirits. i know this all sounds a bit cheese and cliche, but a week of this is kinda ridiculous! we haven’t even really had the opportunity to enjoy our new beautiful hardwood floors or paint the walls, as planned this week. everything it seems has been put on hold.

so, let me hear three cheers to good health!
hip-hip- hooray!
hip-hip- hooray!
hip-hip- hooray!

nine fabulous valentine’s wreath ideas.

January 23, 2013 by mama lola

valentine’s day is only a few short weeks away, so i’ve compiled 9 awesome wreath idea’s for any DIY craft lover. some are more complicated than others and will take more time, but there’s something here to suit everyone’s taste! ENJOY!