a wedding.

October 17, 2011 by mama lola

dear hubby and i had a pretty and perfect wedding february 17th 2007. there was beautiful fresh snow, a calm air to the occasion and the idyllic setting even presented wild deer walking past the river at dusk! this is us getting a few photo’s outside with the gently falling snow and unfortunately without the deer.

bear has been at it again with the questions. this fantastic conversation took place on the couch just the two of us. topic: marriage.

bear: when will i get married?
me: when you are an adult. when you are in love with a man or woman or someone. but, you don’t have to get married. not everyone is.
bear: why do people get married?
me: it’s a way demonstrate commitment to the one person you love. some people choose to get married and others don’t.
bear: who is married?
this is where i start listing all the people he knows who are married, from aunts and uncles to grandparents to friends to teachers.

his thirst for understanding how the world works is overwhelming at times. he asks question after question and although i try to answer each patiently and appropriately, the other day i turned around said “why do you ask why to everything i say?” i was hoping this would silence him, but no such luck.

anyhow on one of my surfing afternoons i came across this wedding. check it out. the vintage furniture and details are lovely, although a bit heavy for my taste. but i really love that this couple, who obviously adore this specific era, have taken the idea or theme and run with it. and it appears to suite them to a tee.

happy autumn monday.

don’t judge!

October 17, 2011 by mama lola

it is difficult to make new friends as adults. i guess it’s because we have all sorts of assumptions about other people, where they’re from, what they like and what makes them tick. even though we’ve been told never to judge a book by its cover, we do. it’s hard not to make judgements about books or people based on how they look, right? it’s hard to admit too, because we all want to believe that we, ourselves, are kind and open to all, no matter what.

but kids on the other hand… boy ‘o boy. they don’t care about what pre-school their friends go to, who their daddy is or what kinda jeans they’re wearing. kids just want a buddy to play with, to laugh with and figure out the complex rules of our society.

bear has become much more friendly and social in the last handful of months. he speaks very specifically about his friends; what they played, what they laughed about and is always asking when the next playdate is. he is truly morphing into a wee social butterfly in his own shy way. his friendships are important to him, like mine are to me and that warms my heart. bear remembers his friends and small details about them. for example he’ll tell you that so and so has a baby sister with blue eyes and who cries when she is hungry. he will explain the new game another friend taught him about monsters and lobsters and giggle just at the thought of it. he will re-tell the story of the licking game that he and mr. transformer developed on a rainy friday afternoon. it is magical and beautiful that he recognizes the importance of these people, his little friends, in his life and shows the value of these bonds as well as a three year old can.

but so it goes…

i wish i had that naivete my lovely three year old holds. to not hold pre-conceived ideas or notions about people. i try desperately not to, but i fail. so, my goal is to be careful what i do with my assumptions, who i share them with and how i present myself to the world. because, at the end of the day when i am perusing the shelves of bookstore, i do judge a book by its cover.

friday night and no date night.

October 15, 2011 by mama lola

it’s friday night, dear hubby and i are home with the kids without the sitter. we decided not to have her come as we were gone wednesday evening to see cirque du soleil. too many nights away is stressful and we need to be filling up our stress reserves for our adventure in new york in a few weeks. i am getting super excited about our first real vacation as a family that is not camping. we are looking forward to hanging with dear hubby’s sister and her mister for a few days and then we are celebrating the nuptials of a long ago friend of hub’s. it’s going to be grand and fun and hopefully not rainy.

more on that trip later.
*****

just chatting on the cell and munching on penguin crackers.

so there’s this thing with the screaming. lion, our littlest cub has turned into an epic screamer. not the crying kind either (although he is skilled at that as well), but the kind he rips out when things don’t go his way. they are piercing and painful on the eardrums and i have no idea how to curb this LOUD behaviour. unfortunately, being the little brother means things often don’t go his way. sigh.

*****
check out these awesome dudes bear drew on our back door. he’s really keen on drawing people, especially ones he knows. these dudes below are various friends and he explained why each of them was smiling, which i have unfortunately forgotten. once he drew a picture of his wee brother as a girl. kids’ imaginations are amazing things!

*****
so remember back when i vented about house & home writing Ikea in their magazine instead of IKEA? well, here’s an email i received in response to my snippy complaint. tell me what you think, because i think her reasoning is a bit silly. i will one day write to the canadian press stylebook and i will keep you updated on this topic.

Hi Julia,

Thanks for your letter — we love hearing from readers who are as passionate about spelling and grammar as we are.

In answer to your question, House & Home has always spelled “Ikea” as such in accordance with The Canadian Press Stylebook, which most Canadian magazines and newspapers use as a source.

As for your concern about other mistakes in the magazine, you can rest assured that we have an experienced team who proofread and factcheck every product name, price, web site and phone number listed to ensure that the information we publish is as accurate as possible.

I sincerely hope you’ll continue to enjoy House & Home.

Beth

Beth HitchcockExecutive Editor
HOUSE&HOME MEDIA
511 King Street West, Suite 120
Toronto, ON, Canada M5V 2Z4
tel: 416.593.9411 ext 241
www.houseandhome.com
www.houseandhome.com/facebook
www.houseandhome.com/twitter

******
it’s going to be a wet weekend, but a good one spent with friends on saturday and sunday we will get a few much needed jobs done around the house. i’ll be pinning away with a hot cup o’ coffee so come find me on pinterest, i’m under mama lola.

happy week ending to you and thanks for reading everyone!
xo

the mental health side of things.

October 13, 2011 by mama lola

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.

~World Health Organization, 1948

i’ve wanted to write about this topic for a while now. it’s a tough topic to get in to, without getting too heavy, but i think it’s time my wee blog tries to break the stigmas linked with mental health. our society invests millions of dollars in encouraging people to take care of their physical health, by recommending what foods to eat (and not to eat), diseases to be aware of and how to avoid them, what vaccines to take and when and it’s all fine and dandy, but what about the other healths that make us human.

our mental and emotional healths also need our attention in order to be balanced, secure and happy. when i was in college studying to become an addictions and mental health counsellor, i was astonished to hear that 1 in 4 people live with a mental health illness. now, that does not mean they have been formally diagnosed, but it does mean that there are a whole lot of us struggling, often alone.

if you do the math, 1 in 4 is a lot of people in your family, circle of friends, co-workers, uni pals, neighbours, whoever. and that doesn’t even count the number of different kinds of illnesses people can have or that some people even have more than one illness! mental health is all a part of a continuum, giving it flex to move and shape itself; some days are better than others, some years are darker than others and some decades can be a blur, while others are meticulously planned and lived.

so why the judgement? my guess is fear. mental health or unhealth can present in ways that are frightening to those witnessing the behaviour but is also terrifying to those living with it. the mind is a very powerful source of doubt, pain, misinformation, paranoia, fear, distrust, self-loathing, hatred, hopelessness, and a slew of other horrific symptoms that are difficult to imagine. medications can help, but they often come with a long list of adverse effects, which can be difficult to live with. Some people have found fewer side effects in cannabis from budmail alternative green society. This can help but doesn’t take away how difficult it is to manage these perspective-altering conditions.

Living with mental health issues can be a challenge each and every day, it seems like there is a neverending hell and upset going on inside the person’s head, they need support from people, whether it be from friends, family or a trusted confidant, if they have someone to talk to it can help with the pain and possibly even lessen it. There are treatment centres that can help people work through their issues such as addiction, anxiety and depression, the list can go on, no matter where you live you’ll be able to find a place where they can help you, from mental health treatment in houston to mental health treatment in Deleware, no one is alone and letting them know that can help. There are other natural options to help relieve anxiety and put you in brighter spirits if you’re living with depression, for a certain amount of time. Some people use medical marijuana for these cases, which you can find on sites like purplelotus. It is worth exploring this option if there is a chance it will improve your quality of life.

if you know someone living with a mental health illness or you suspect someone is, reach out and support them. this does not mean “curing” them or becoming their counsellor, it means to offer to baby-sit their kids, take them out for a long walk, call and touch base regularly, make them dinner, offer to clean their house or hire a service with help from others such as the Renewed Freedom Center, go to appointments with them, basically be a friend. many people, when diagnosed with a mental health illness lose their friends at a time they so desperately need the extra support.

what did YOU do for your mental health today?

giving thanks.

October 11, 2011 by mama lola

i hope everyone out there in cyberworld who is reading this blog does not assume, that although i moan about the tough times of our day to day life, that i am not truly grateful for where we are today. because i am. so grateful, so happy.

in hindsight it is always easier to say that the bumps along the way were worth the tears and struggle, and that the stress of job loss or questionable health were hardships worth living. whilst it was undeniably hard to go through them at the time, when i came to reflect, i realized that things could’ve been a lot worse. for instance, my friend was being made redundant even though she had been one of the longest-serving employees at her company. it was heart-breaking. but it wasn’t long until she sought legal advice from a solicitor, and she was able to receive some sort of justice. we were both in horrible situations, but it brought us closer because we were managing them together, and everything that we went through was for a reason. and do you know what, i’m glad it happened. i can say that now, because we survived and are doing stronger than ever. but, if those bumps had not appeared on our road we would not be where we are now, here today. and where we are, i kind of like and am grateful for.

my boys are beautiful and healthy. my dear husband is on an upward career path, which is wonderful to watch. i am slowly starting to make plans for my own life. as a family we are strong and busy and full of love.

this past long weekend we were back up north preparing the family cottage for winter. it was a weekend filled with fairy houses, family, fires, reading and amazing weather. the kids, as usual, wanted to run outside and explore the wonders of the forest. bear’s big thing was throwing things onto the water; things like sticks, bark, rocks. lion tried his darndest to keep up, but the uneven forest floor is tough for his wee feet. but, together they played and threw sticks.

what is this fungi on the tree called? in finland we call it a kääpä. this particular fallen birch had several of these fungi growing on it. all a part of the cycle of the forest, of life.

bear had planned this row boat trip in advance. he had asked bubba several times if he wanted to come and was delighted when it was time to head out on the lake. with a bag of pretzels and good company, off they went. apparently the calm lake brought out a quiet, thoughtful bear.

this was the scene on the afternoon before we left the peace of the cottage. bright sun, warm temperatures and two curious cubs exploring the water and its magic. lion got so curious he walked right into the lake and sat down in the water. there is nothing like the wonder of children and looking at the world through their eyes really is incredible. witnessing my kids in nature makes me want to up root and move northwards, to where there are more trees and more quiet.

thank-you for another beautiful summer lovely, family cottage; until next season…

when it rains, it pours, even on the sunniest of days.

October 7, 2011 by mama lola

this week we existed.
it all started on sunday night when dear hubby uttered the words “we’re launching at work this week…” and anyone who is a computer programmer’s partner knows that this means too much work and not enough hours in the day and deadlines that come and go and then come around again. for dear hubby it was made worse as he had to commute to the city four times this week, instead of the usual two times and clock longer hours at the office each day.

on monday night we had the baby-sitter come, which is a bit unusual, but a friend was performing and we wanted to check it out. dear hubby was arriving at the bus depot at 7pm (and would not see the kids at all that day) and i was supposed to meet him there. i did met him there, but my heart was full of sadness and doubt as both kids had been a mess upon my departure. lion screamed and screamed, while his big brother clung to my left leg begging me to stay through sobs and tears. augh. i peeled his arms off of me, quickly kissed the boys and ran out the door. i was also almost in tears when i climbed into the car. getting a baby-sitter wasn’t supposed to be this hard and make everyone feel so heavy hearted. i was ready to go back home, but we texted the sitter and she told us everyone had calmed down and was ready for sleep. what a relief. dear hubby and i had a wonderful evening listening to great music and chatting with friends.

for the kids the stress of dear hubby’s absence was felt immediately. so, on tuesday we decided to spend a night in the big city with my folks so that the kids could at least see their dad at dinner time and bedtime. but, like any mama knows, when spending a night in a different setting, even if it is the grandparents’ cozy home, things are just that much harder. bedtime got pushed back, diaper rashes flared up and everyone was missing our regular routine.

on our way home, of course bear decided he had to poop just as we got on the highway.

bear has had an especially rough week. he’s been very attached to his daddy since birth and when dad isn’t around enough he takes it to heart. bear’s behaviour becomes more aggressive and hard to be around. he doesn’t seem to sleep as well, which makes for a growly three year old bear. and to top things off his glasses spontaneously snapped and broke, which means because it’s a long weekend he won’t get a new pair until next week. sigh.

lion doesn’t seem to realize his daddy is gone, but when he does see him again his excitement is heartbreaking to watch. he laughs and points with pure joy at his dad. but, he too has felt the stress of this unusual week.

for me, the days have been longer and more draining. it’s exhausting to be the only one doing everything and not really getting a proper break. but, the hardest part about flying solo is the loneliness of missing one’s partner.

and it’s going to be demanding for a couple of more days. tomorrow the kids and i are off to the cottage with patty. unfortunately dear hubby and his folks will be heading east a few hours to a cousin’s wedding on saturday. that means, dear hubby is renting a car and then after the reception will be booting it to the cottage. sounds absurd, i know, but the cottage is at its best at thanksgiving and lion has never even experienced it yet, so we are determined to maintain these important family traditions.

i am eagerly awaiting to curl up with some good reads in front of the cottage fire with all of my guys. i am looking forward to exploring the forests and enjoying the warmth of thanksgiving with family. i am yearning to experience the wonder that is the cottage rather than exist in my routine at home.

but…

still, i am thankful.

happy thanksgiving!

falling for fall.

October 2, 2011 by mama lola

october has arrived in full force. the temperature has dropped dramatically and the crisp air outside is blowing fallen leaves briskly. the sun is fighting to show off its glory and every so often as the clouds race along, the warm rays shine down making for a beautiful fall day.

my kids and dear hubby were all eager to get out there and get to work. bear is the kind of kid who is not afraid of the elements or cooler temperatures, he in fact thrives in the fall/ winter months. he’s kind of like me and wilts in the heat and humidity of the summer. the poor kid has been asking for winter since june! Thus lion, whose goal in life is to be like bear, also wants to go outside and play. although he complains as we get all the layers on, he seems happy enough to be wherever bear is.

this time of year is a reminder of the frightening storm that began two years ago. it was october when i became unexpectedly pregnant with lion and the migraines came on strong soon after. that fall i was taking a few uni courses for my women’s studies degree and i remember struggling with the readings as my head would just be pounding. i was exhausted, so exhausted that i would drag myself around town taking bear, then about 18 months to the park or play dates, grocery shopping or wherever.

i’m off for my annual MRI tonight. gotta get it done to make sure my wee pituitary gland is tumour free. i am scared and nervous and a wreck. my friend, mamaM is a tech at the hospital and she will be doing my imaging tonight. she’s also the one who did the MRI when my tumour was first discovered. it’s nice to know a familiar and kind voice will be checking in with me as i endure the claustrophobic loud banging in that uncomfortable tube. i wont get the results until december.

fingers crossed everyone.
i am scared.

from zero to rage.

September 28, 2011 by mama lola

I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. Lately both boys have been waking up before the crack of dawn, before the sun has woken up, before it’s natural. Slowly we tromp down the stairs and munch on our cereal. The kids are fine, but I’m like a zombie barely able to keep my eyes open, blinking away the fuzzies of the night, anxiously waiting for my coffee to brew. I have thought about taking some energy supplements that can give my body that little boost to push away the fatigue, there is a total restore deal that I’ve been told about and can look at, I just don’t know yet. I’ll wait and see if my coffee needs it’s own pick me up first.

Today was a tough day for us. We were up at dawn and by the afternoon I had a pair of whiny kids on my hands. I tried to keep my cool by caffeinating myself through-out the day, maintaining my own blood sugars at a reasonable level by snacking on fruit or nuts and by ensuring the kids needs are met before the inevitable sh*t hits the fan.

By the time dear hubby got home this evening the boys and I were all feeling the weight of our tiredness. bear didn’t want to eat the cod chowder I made (which was amazing btw) and lion’s bum had exploded in a rash just before dinner (again). I barely spoke as I could feel my exhaustion turning to rage under my skin. I can still feel it as I type this, and the guys are all upstairs having a bath.

lion ate some blue chalk. then he barfed.

then he nursed.

It’s the nonsense that is brought nightly to the dinner table, the kicking of my chair saying the food is “yucky”. It’s the daily fights that start in the morning with getting dressed, of getting teeth brushed and getting out the door on time. There’s the BS with car seats, with grabbing toys from lion’s tiny hand, with spitting and screaming in lion’s face… I could go on. you get the point.

Today I feel like I have had enough. I feel like I could walk through that door and not look back.
please don’t judge me, until you have walked a mile in my shoes or lived a day in my world.

Peace.

oreo cupcakes.

September 28, 2011 by mama lola

holy moly cupcakes batman! we had a wee belated birthda fam-jam at our house on the weekend. mother nature put on her finest and presented us with brunch weather that could not have been more perfect. we enjoyed dear hubby’s famous crepes and other delicious food. for the cake, bear wanted to make cupcakes so i found these over the top oreo cheesecake ones. bear helped bake while lion napped and they were easy and AMAZING! super sweet and nothing healthy about ’em, especially since we slapped on some icing and decorated them with jelly candies. but, they were a hit!

let me know if you try the recipe!

bursting with pride.

September 26, 2011 by mama lola

sometimes i find myself bursting with pride for my kids. sometimes they say or do things that blow my mind and leave me in awe. sometimes they are thoughtful and sympathetic and sometimes they behave exceptionally in overwhelming situations.

at our house bear and lion are on an upward climb on the developmental ladder. lion is walking so well, and able to climb on and off all sorts of obstacles. he is jabbering a lot and i have heard a few words too, like daddy, äiti and up.he is able to communicate more with incessant pointing and squeaking, which is annoying, yes, but usually gets his needs met. he is also sleeping well in the night and in the morning he climbs out of his own bottom bunk walks down the hall to my room and wakes me so i can pick him up for a morning nurse and cuddle session. it is sweet and lovely.

bear drew a picture of bubba and blake for their birthday picture.
he also coloured the yellow hearts. our little picasso.

bear’s vocabulary is booming. today he asked what “adiculous” (ridiculous) meant. he often places an “A” sound at the beginning of words. he is also able to verbalize consequences to actions in a way that i turn around and ask “who told you that?” and he often says “me, i did”. little smarty pants! his memory in frighteningly sharp and he can easily tell me what he wore to so and so’s birthday party or if i promised some specific food for after ballet, days earlier. he remembers who gifted him what and when.

my kids aren’t geniuses or ahead of the norms, but as their mama i am currently bursting with pride as i watch them grow out of babyhood into toddlerhood and from toddlerhood into kidhood.

i am understanding the bitter-sweetness of motherhood as my little guys grow. our youngest is not a baby any more, so ideas and thoughts about a third have been dancing in my head a lot lately and this is the conclusion i have come to. at this time i am 32, half done my women’s studies degree and so i have decided to be selfish and take the next few years and focus on finishing my degree. i want to complete it so desperately and was on a roll two years ago, but then i shockingly got pregnant and then even more shockingly discovered my tumour, so my degree got put on hold. now i am healthy and my kids are bigger and i want to at least get the school ball rolling again in january. fingers crossed!

my hope is that my kids one day look back on their childhood and feel that tingly sensation for me. i want them to recognize the sacrifices i made for them and the success that ultimately evolved from them for them and for me. i want them to burst with pride.