holiday magic.

December 10, 2011 by mama lola

i am a real fan of christmas. i have such lovely memories from my own childhood of holidays spent with my family back in finland. my mom would cook an amazing dinner for us to enjoy on christmas eve. we never had turkey, like they serve here, but instead we had a multiple course meal which included glazed ham, fresh fish, possibly some smoked reindeer meat, various vegetables cooked in a variety of ways and of course ample desserts and treats to be nibbled on. as an adult today, i recognize the efforts she made each year trying to create some holiday magic at our house. and not just with food either; my mom was into making our own decorations and collecting natural treasures, and still is. (*note: i was speaking with a friend who fondly remembers last year’s holiday magic at my parents’ house, so it’s not just me).

joulutonttu, or the christmas elf left some chocolates for the kids in the advent calendar. it was messy and joyful. bear waited years before we gave him chocolate, lion is so lucky to be the second born!

i want my kids to feel the magic of the holidays too. it’s hard though, because my kids are still particularly little and their enthusiasm is very limited. but, still i plough on forward.

today bear and i made these cookies.

i’ve always been terrified of the ready-made doughs you can buy at the grocery store, but when i saw this recipe and saw how cute the cookies were i made an executive decision to ignore my fears and bake on. the simplicity and ease was shocking, but the chemicals still kinda freak me out. that being said, i think we created some holiday magic with this easy baking recipe, no clean up, all around hassle free.

this is the original recipe via pillsbury.
all you need is the cookie dough, they recommend the gingerbread one, but my local store didn’t have any so we used the albino sugar cookie stuff instead. various candies depending on the look you’re going for. we used various M&M colours for eyes and noses etc. the original recipe calls for chocolate chips for eyes, but we like colour in our cookies! also, make sure you get small pretzels. bear was so pleased in the end!

tomorrow i’m taking the kids to see the muppets! can’t wait!
i feel nostalgic already!

docs & tumour update.

December 9, 2011 by mama lola

not much to report from my big appointment the other day. i will continue to be monitored closely, as in, i will see my neurologist and endocrinologist again, in about 6 months time. i wll have to get another MRI done and the usual round of blood work. there are no obvious concerns; in fact things look great, but because i was pregnant when all of this went down, they don’t really know what my normal hormone levels are. it’s both re-assuring and worrisome to have to go back so soon.

i just want to be done, ya know? i am ready to move on and not have to think about my tumour anymore. i want to start planning things and setting goals, especially now that i am feeling better and am headache free. plus, the kids are getting bigger so it’s a great time to start putting our family adventures into full swing.

i don’t want to sound ungrateful, because i am very grateful to be where i am now and where we are as a family. we have had the wind knocked out of us, but we are finally on solid ground again. i am especially to eager to start preparing for the holidays, now that we are mostly healthy from that wicked flu we had. it’s going to be a busy few weeks preparing everything, but now that there is a little snow sprinkled out there it is certainly beginning to feel like christmas.

the advent calendar is a huge hit! i explained to the kids that a joulutonttu (x-mas elf) comes at night and leaves the surprise for them to discover in the morning. it was so worth it!

sweet dreams merry elves!

coming full circle.

December 6, 2011 by mama lola

today is finland’s independence day. we lit our two white candles, listened to the national anthem and i shed a few tears for my motherland. man, i miss that place so much.

tomorrow i have a very important date with my tumour team in the big city. it’s my annual check up: that’s right, it’s been a year since my surgery. the anniversary passed quietly on november 12th, with only a quick mention to dear hubby and some quiet thoughts on my own. it’s been a wonderful year without the debilitating migraines and the handfuls of T3’s i would eat almost daily.
it’ll be two years ago on december 18th that my family doctor phoned me at home and told me i had a tumour in my head and had to get to an opthamologist immediately. two years ago that my life changed in a way that i never could have predicted. december 21st will be two years since my first meeting with my neurosurgeon. we discussed the possibilities of surgery, but since i was only about 3 months pregnant with lion, everyone was unsure about what to do next. that holiday season of 2009 was really surreal and filled with fear. our families didn’t even know i was pregnant until we formally announced it at each family’s christmas dinner. first we discussed the horror of the tumour and then we threw in that we were expecting. what an emotional rollercoaster!

but, we survived and are here to tell the tale.

tomorrow’s appointment is to discuss the results of the MRI and bloodwork i had done in the fall. i am feeling hopeful and optimistic, but there is also a part of me that is terrified. so many what if’s are jumping around my head and it’s hard to remain completely rational at all times!

kiddo’s, advent calendar in it’s full glory, tree with shooting star.

it’s been a stressful few years.
i am waiting for a calm christmas that is only made anxious by burnt cookies and pricked fingers!

trying to play catch up!

December 1, 2011 by mama lola

fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-laa…

it’s december third and i already feel as though i am playing catch up with the holidays. the boys’ advent calendar is late (gosh darn) and i am behind on my other christmas sewing as well. but, the calendar is getting close to being done. my goal is to have the kids receive their first toys on tuesday morning, but that’s assuming i don’t feel super exhausted each evening when i am supposed to be sewing!

a sneak peek of the advent calendar.

the fury which has been this terrible sickness in our home, furies on. tonight marks the one week mark of when all of this started. both kids have been in bed and asleep by 6pm most of the week. we went to the doctor on friday morning and discovered lion had an ear infection in his right ear. i am scared, as i was a chronic ear ache sufferer as a child, and know the kind of future which may lay ahead of him. bear, well, he was sent to get a chest x-ray as our family doc didn’t really like the sound of his lower right lung. we did not receive a call back, so he does not have pneumonia! finally, some good news.

but, we have been able to start spreading some christmas cheer around in small sprinkles here and there. we purchased this for bear online on wednesday and it arrived friday morning. it’s a door way swing set, with rings and a trapeze bar. bear is always looking for new ways to challenge himself physically and he is starting to do some dangerous stunts on the banisters, so we thought this was a safe way he can focus that energy and see results. (to get into his top bunk, he climbs the least direct way up like a little monkey! it’s amazing to watch and he has never fallen, not even close). anyhow, the rings and things are from the same company that made the sweet hammock lion used all those months ago.

we also purchased our christmas tree. i felt like we all needed some air in our congested lungs so we went for a quick visit to a local nursery and perused their tree selection. it was fun for a few minutes, but then the cranky, grumpy little boys showed their faces and it was time to head home. today we decorated our tree and that didn’t go over as well as i had wanted. bear started off happy and delighted with the task at hand, but then he faded quickly bringing out unpleasant behaviour. so it goes i suppose.

mothering sick children is tough, but it’s even harder when you yourself are sick. now, dear hubby is losing his health and giving into the sickness that has ravaged our home. let’s hope it doesn’t debilitate him like it did the rest of us, so that he and i can get our christmas groove on and get going on our gifts, baking and so on and so on.

lion is never too sick to care for vaava.

‘tis the season to be jolly…

a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

November 27, 2011 by mama lola

i think my last entry about sharing really ruffled some feathers; my intention was not to offend or upset anyone, but at the time i was feeling really irritated after reading a terrible book to the kids about sharing. that being said, i do still question the way we teach and encourage sharing to our kids, but i question everything involved in mainstream parenting!
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moving on…
so, sometimes i just want to give life the finger, ya know? i survived two rounds of strep each with different kinds of antibiotics and then sunday night the kids and i were smacked in the face with the flu. both kids have been lethargic and only today have picked up some more momentum. myself, i broke my fever last night alone in bed with my flannel lined hot water bottle (thanks sun). i’m still tired, but at least the ravaging fever is gone, but now the kids and i are hacking up our lungs with a painful dry cough. fingers crossed dear hubby doesn’t get sick as he is the last man standing… i asked dear hubby to come home stocked with new toothbrushes for all of us, he bought like a million; good man!

tomorrow brings day 6 of spending every waking minute together with the kids and it’s starting to show. but, i don’t think bear is well enough to go to preschool in the AM or ballet in the PM, so fingers crossed we survive.
friday is supposed to be date night, but i think we’re going to cancel. we’re all exhausted and the house is toxic with sickness. i just threw in a load of laundry, but almost burst into tears as i scanned the mountain growing in the basement.

painting mummo’s birthday card.

tomorrow is december 1st and the advent calendar i dreamed to have ready for the kids is not done. all this sickness has zapped me of my energies and i am overflowing with guilt. my new goal is to have it done soon, but as many kind people have reminded me, my kids don’t know it’s coming and have no idea it’s supposed to happen for a specific number of days. whew….

oh, one final vent… my laptop is STILL being repaired. it’s been just over a month now and according to future shop they can have it for up to 60 days. that takes me to x-mas. what a pain in the butt ya know? computers are great, until they aren’t.

MERRY HUMP DAY!

i have a beef with the "S" word.

November 25, 2011 by mama lola

that darn “S” word has been on mind: SHARING. because of the ages of my kids and the activities we involve ourselves in outside the home, we hear that word a lot. in my expert, mama opinion, we have taken the word “share” and twisted it into something meaningless. adults are constantly telling their kids “to share their toys” without ever actually talking about what it means to share.

wikipedia defines the act of sharing as “the joint use of a resource or space”.

sharing, therefore is not the same as taking turns, but that’s what adults in our society have made it into. the whole idea “oh, sweetie you have wait until ken is done playing with that dolly and then it’s your turn. good sharing barbie”. what on earth does that statement mean? i interpret that as “ken, you only have so much time until your turn is done and then it’s barbie’s turn”, which is technically not sharing, but forcing and intimidating ken to give up the toy he is playing with. what if ken wants to play with the dolly for an indefinite amount of time? what if ken is inside his imaginary world, but because of greedy barbie his game is forcibly interrupted and hence, devalued? that is not sharing. that is bullying. sounds harsh, but i truly believe that.

sharing, i think, is suggesting to barbie to go and find another dolly and play with ken and share in his experience. (obviously checking with ken that he’s ok with barbie joining the game). or staring her own game and leaving ken the hell alone. the joint use of space and resources- bam!

why is it assumed that when kids visit their friends, that all of those toys are to be shared. what if ken doesn’t want barbie playing with his surf board, why as adults do we force ken to share the toy? why are there no limitations or boundaries and why is it not ok for kids to say no to their friends? for myself and my things, there certainly are items that are mine and just mine. not everything in my home is for the other members of my family to touch or use, i ask for privacy and i think that’s ok.

our society has removed itself from the idea of sharing resources; for example back in the day several families might invest in tools or a car or something together and reap the benefits of reduced spending and shared maintenance. nowadays it is rare to borrow or lend out items to people in the neighbourhood who are not close friends or family.

adults yimmer on at kids about sharing, but there is little discussion about what that word actually means. it’s not just about toys, but about sharing time, space, ideas, feelings, being with each other.

i desperately try not to use that word at home. i can be heard saying out there in the world, because i feel as though i will judged if i do not insist bear gives up his bucket at the park to a friend. bear has brought that word home, and i have tried to explain to him in other ways how to share and what it means to share with his friends.

the pictures are of bella. a kitty who is shared between our household and my folks’. she was once more my responsibility and now she lives with my parents.

share the love people!

a strep hiatus.

November 24, 2011 by mama lola

i have been away from my blog as i have been ill. so i got strep a few weeks back, got the antibiotics and was quickly feeling better. then a few days after the antibiotics finished i was hit yet again by strep. the doctor explained that up to 20% of strep infections are a strain that is resilient to penicillin, the antibiotic most commonly used to treat strep. lucky for me that was the kind of strep that chose to invade my body. if you have ever had strep you know it just stinks. your throat hurts so much, even swallowing warm liquids feels like knives slicing your uvula to shreds! you also feel tremendously tired and achy and possibly feverish and just lousy. but i am now feeling much better thanks to my new antibiotics and, fingers crossed, i stay this way! i can’t spend another weekend in bed, especially since this weekend we are attending our dear friends’ annual american thanksgiving dinner party. i am so excited to go as we have missed the past few years due to illness.

at the local santa claus parade.

bear’s first tootsie roll candy: surprisingly he LOVED it!

lion waved and waved at the floats going by. no candy for him.

moving on…
my bear has a new sweet friend at preschool. bear comes home telling tales about what they played and what his new buddy is like. every day he only plays with this one friend and bear tells me they are friends, and love each other. the sincerity with which bear speaks of this specific friend in heartbreakingly touching. today we had mr.T and his mama over for a playdate for the first time and i have to confess i totally get the friendship now. these two boys share a very special bond; one which is full of equality, respect and genuineness. neither kid is the dominant mr. bossy pants, but they take turns taking charge of a game.
i am so happy for bear. his new friend is already so important to him and to have a friend so similar is just wonderful. they really are two peas in a pod.

our afternoon playdate triggered some evening drama. bedtime was tough for my overtired bear so i rocked him to sleep, holding him in my arms. his big body was cuddled in close as his long limbs hung over my legs. as we sat there in the dark, a huge lump grew in my throat as i fondly remembered the days when i used to breastfeed him to sleep every night. those nights seem so long ago and part of a completely different life.

off to do some laundry, which i am behind thanks to the stinkin’ strep.

HAPPY HUMP DAY!

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lion is roaring!

November 17, 2011 by mama lola

*pictures with our point-n-shoot as my lens on my nikon is busted; my computer is still being fixed… therefore grainy, blurry, unedited pictures for the time being.

many of my posts revolve around my three year old, bear.

today’s post is going to be an exception, as this post is all about my sweet little lion. now at 16 months he is a busy little guy always trying to keep up with his older brother’s shenanigans and doing a darn good job at it too.
my littlest is very different from his brother. he is the most impatient person i have ever met; if his demands are not met immediately he will scream and cry as if the world is ending. he arches his little back dramatically and throws a fit that stops as soon you have provided him with what he wants. these wee tantrums are typically food related!

in the summer for his 1 year well baby check up he was weighing in a whopping 16lbs, which technically wasn’t even on the charts! we were pretty surprised he was so tiny. i mean, just looking at him you could see he was small, but not on the charts? now that’s small. our family doctor didn’t seem too worried as he was meeting all of the other milestones and she explained to me that those growth charts are actually based on formula fed babies and meat eaters. we are vegetarian and i am an avid breastfeeder.

but, i still worried and so i started offering food all day every day and it worked. lots of cheeses, hummus, avocado, eggs, salmon, all prepared at home by me. in hindsight, i think the major problem contributing to his slow weight gain was his inability to chew properly. he had a few teeth, but it was action of chewing and then swallowing which confused him. he’s still a bit forgetful and will spit food out into his wee hand and offer it to me. thanks dude!

but, it’s one of those tricky points in mothering that people tend to judge you on. in our society we tend to think bigger is better; think of choosing fruits or veggies at the market, the bigger tomatoes are chosen faster! the same goes for babes, bigger means healthier (within a certain bracket) and if you have smaller baby people question if you are feeding your child enough. it’s been a tough road for me, as his mama, to have to justify his size and exclusively breastfeeding him for the first six months of his life.

but, as you can see by just looking at him he drips of cuteness and charms the pants off of his da-da every day. he still struggles with some stranger anxiety, but is slowly getting better with other people. he loves animals and has been delighted to have my parents’ cat, bella, stay with us these past few weeks. he has now transitioned to one nap a day and loves a good cuddle in the mornings with his daddy. he is full of life and passion and wit. he is clumsy, always falling off of various pieces of furniture or bashing his head into tables or tripping over his own feet. he loves to colour with markers and just to annoy me leaves the lids off intentionally. he wants so desperately to be big like his brother, as i am so desperately trying to hold onto my baby.

although lion’s arrival into our family was a surprise, we are thrilled to have him and couldn’t imagine our family without him. my heart is bursting with pride and love for him. my sweet little lion.

g’night moon.

on the roof tops and shouting hurrah!

November 16, 2011 by mama lola

*pictures with our point-n-shoot as my lens on my nikon is busted; my computer is still being fixed… therefore grainy, blurry, unedited pictures for the time being.

i am standing on the roof tops and shouting hurrah!
today was the first day in a long time that my bear and i did not fight. i made big (and i mean BIG) efforts not fall for his antics and i succeeded. there were a few close calls, but i would close my eyes, count to ten and ask for “serenity now”. i’ve said it before and i will say it again, i am the adult in this relationship and it is my responsibility to model the behaviour i want him to present. three has been a super difficult age for us and most parents out there tend to agree. whoever came up with the “terrible twos” notion, obviously moved out before the kid turned three.

there is something very fundamentally different about three and two and three and four. a two year old is still very much a baby in so many ways, especially compared to a three year old. after speaking with the experts, mamas and papas like me, i think at three they get scared of growing up. at our house it seems as though bear is aware of his advances in learning and the gains he has made in his independence and that recently he has regressed to a baby. for example, when trying to get out the door bear says he doesn’t know how to put his shoes on, which i know is ridiculous, because he was eagerly velcroing his runners at two. my frustration comes from knowing he knows how to do things, but him choosing not to do them.

so today was my experiment day, i knelt down to his level and helped him get dressed in way and with a tone i haven’t in a long time. he is so very capable of getting dressed on his own, except for those darn socks and tricky buttons and has even been choosing his own clothes to wear each day. but today, instead of insisting that he do it and him refusing vehemently, i gave him the opportunity to it on his own, but when things were not progressing instead of getting frustrated, i sat on the floor and gently asked if he wanted help. i probably sound like a cow and a terrible mother, for A) caving in B) usually getting frustrated with getting dressed. but, i think parents of three year olds will agree and i hope you are nodding as you read this, because you have perhaps struggled the way i have, and still do.

i don’t feel as tired as i usually do on a weekday evening. the positive turn of events i think have recharged my mama-batteries and turned a light on at the end of this long parenting tunnel.

fingers crossed tomorrow is a calm and joy filled day as well.

ho! ho! ho! i’m already thinking about the holidays!

November 13, 2011 by mama lola

click on the red tab on the right and join me on pinterest! —————–>
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i am looking forward to the holidays this year. the magic of christmas, especially with the kids is so great. bear and i have had some serious conversations about santa or joulupukki, as he’s called at our house. you know, where he lives, the logistics of his job and the always curious idea of what he does in the summer. i am a bit of a sucker for this particular holiday. i have lovely memories of christmases past from growing up in finland and am trying to create some wonderful memories for my kids to cherish.

this year, i really want to make the boys an advent calendar. there are some super cute ideas out there, but i am going to keep it simple, i think.

source.

in my fabric stash i found tons of the burlap that’s left over from our wedding. i can’t decide what to do with it… possibilities below include:
A) is to make 24 burlap pockets and sew them to a background fabric, like in the picture below.

[source]

B) or sew 24 little bags from the burlap and then hang them from a branch or something. i have no picture of this, as it’s my own idea.

either way, i want the calendar to fit a surprise for each kid on each day. i also want it to grow with the boys as they get older, instead of being too childish or babyish. i have some felt that i will use to decorate the pockets or bags, as i think the calendar above is a tad too plain for my liking.

i would love some input and suggestions! time is a ticking and i gotta get sewing!

happy monday!