another year has come and gone… welcome 33.

December 28, 2011 by mama lola

i love my birthday.
i especially love spending it with my boys.

i used to share my birthday with my mummo before she passed away. here’s a picture of our first shared cake and the 66 candles that sat on top; one for me, 65 for her! denzel washington also celebrates his birthday with me. lucky me! or him!

my first birthday as a mama with my sweet bear.

as i enter 33 and 2012 i am hoping life will roll a little more easily and smoothly for myself and my family this year. i feel like we deserve a break from all of the turmoil that has been thrown in our faces in the past two years. i want to discover fantastic adventures with the kids, explore life through their eyes and travel this great land we call home. i would like to return to school and finish what i have started, sooner rather than later.

lion trying on my first pair of specs. he LOVED them!

perhaps with 33 i will discover the fountain of patience. although mothering has been easier this past month or so, i know i will be tested tremendously in the coming year. i want to be so much more than just a “good mother”, but fulfilling those expectations of myself are pretty much impossible. and not just patience with my kids, but more so with myself.
i want to grow more as a person and find who i am again. i am so often only seen as a mother, but i am so much more. but i only have my self to blame for that, i have allowed the other parts of me to disappear under the exhaustion, the busyness and the oh-so predictable routine that has become my life. and not that those things are unpleasant, but they make it difficult to feel free, creative or curious.

********
we are heading up north to bring in the new year with some of our bestest friends! lots of good talkin’, good food and good booze! it looks like there will be snow, so the kids will be delighted to be able to go tobogganing and build snow people and the always popular lumilyhty!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!
see you on the other side.
xo

aaah, it’s done.

December 27, 2011 by mama lola

christmas is officially done for another year. whew! we are all tired and burnt out from the holiday marathon of excitement, but now we need to get recharged for two days of birthday celebrations. first mine (28th) and then my MIL’s (29th). i’ve always loved having my birthday in between x-mas and new years, but since moving from the big city and having kids it’s complicated things.

last x-mas dinner. (please excuse the weirdness with the frame, cannot be fixed).

tomorrow we are heading to the art gallery in the big city to see this with my parents. i am excited to see some beautiful art with my kids and explore the paintings through their eyes. chagall’s paintings are so whimsical and full of magic; he’s one of my favourites. but, there’s a winter storm coming so we’ll have to eyeball the weather and see if it’s reasonable driving weather.

right now at 13:39 it is snowing heavily outside, with big flakes accumulating, but the temperature is supposed to drop down to -18c tonight, which means any water will freeze and the roads might be a mess tomorrow.
fingers crossed…

on the 30th we are heading up north to the cottage with our usual new year’s posse of partiers! so, counting down the days to that!

joulu!

December 26, 2011 by mama lola

wishing everyone a happy holidays!
we are in the midst of our christmas celebrations. last night with my folks, tonight at home, tomorrow with dear hubby’s family. so far santa has been very impressed with the kids and they have received lots of wonderful new toys and books and things!

here are a few pictures from our jouluaatto with my parents. it is tradition in finland to celebrate x-mas on the 24th, so we always enjoy a beautiful meal prepared by my mom. after dinner santa comes and while i was growing up he actually came into our living room and i would sing or dance for him. he then passed out our gifts. for our boys, we always seem to just miss joulupukki, he knocks on the door or window, but by the time we get there he’s gone. luckily however, he has left gifts under the tree for us!

tonight we are all heading to bed early, so that we can celebrate lots tomorrow!
g’night!

joulu!

December 26, 2011 by mama lola

tonight we are all heading to bed early, so that we can celebrate lots tomorrow!
g’night!

ho! ho! holiday traditions!

December 18, 2011 by mama lola

i am desperately trying to incorporate finnish christmas traditions into our canadian holiday season. i find food is an easy and fun way to do that..

on the weekend i made some joulupuuro, translated as christmas porridge, which i think is basically rice pudding for all you english speakers. i also made some kiisseli to go with it. it’s like a thick fruit soup and you can use any ol’ fruit (fresh or dried), but for this time of year i use dried plums, apples, apricots and raisins. (in the warmer months i sometimes make rhubarb soup and my mom makes a wicked blueberry soup.)

for iltapala (bedtime snack) we each enjoyed a bowl of warm joulupuuro with a big heaping of kiisseli on top. the cinnamon smells wafted through the house adding to the holiday magic at our house.

the instructions are in metric as that’s what the finns use. easy enough to convert if you need to thanks to google!

this is where i got the recipe and directions from.

kiisseli.

200 g dried plums
1 l water
3/4 dl sugar
place plums (and other fruit), water and sugar into a large pot. let it simmer on a low heat for 20-30 minutes* or until fruit is soft. add water if needed.

1/2 dl water
21/2 tblsp potato flour/ potato starch
mix water and potatoflour/ potato starch in a bowl. add slowly to pot with steaming fruits and let it simmer for a few minutes.

the amounts are a starting point i find. i didn’t measure my dried fruits, but just grabbed a handful of each and threw them in. i also increased my water and potato flour amounts slightly. the potatoflour is a thickening agent, if you want the soup to be thicker add more potato flour. i also threw in a cinnamon stick and a sprinkle of nutmeg.

* this time may vary depending on how hard your fruit is.

also, we made some more reindeer cookies using chocolate chip ready-made cookie dough. they tasted delish and looked adorable!

time to go and wrap gifts. we haven’t done any yet! yikes!
also, just wanted to mention that i am loving the sirius radio and the all day x-mas music we get to listen to! fun! fun! fun!

the exquisite house of ginger.

December 18, 2011 by mama lola

dear hubby may not be a carpenter who can build me my dream home, but he sure is smart in the kitchen with his gingerbread house building skills. he’s a master of the gingerbread house, like no one else i know. each year he closely follows the recipe from the joy of cooking and voila, a house forms from the mess of ingredients. real holiday magic!

this year he had two lovely helpers. yesterday they got the dough done. today they measured and cut the structure, baked ’em, put them together and then i get to join in the best part, the decorating! bear has been waiting for a long, long time for this day. check out helper fraulein.
*****
GINGERBREAD HOUSE OR COOKIE (from the joy of cooking p. 781)
recipe and instructions:

in a medium (2 quart) saucepan, melt
1 cup or two sticks of butter
add and strir over low heatuntil sugar is disolved and the mixture no longer feels gritty:
1 cup sugar
1 cup unsulphurred molasses
remove from the heat and set aside to cool to lukewarm. in a large bowl, whisk together:
41/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tblsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp grated or ground nutmeg
make a well in the center of the dry ingredients, pour in the lukewarm butter mixture, and beat to blend everything together. work in
1/2 cup all purpose flour
beating until the dough forms a ball and pulls away from the sides of the bowl:
remove the dough from the bowl and knead 3-4 times on the counter, until smooth and pliable. wrap well and refrigerate until the dough is thoroughly cook. (the dough can be prepared several days in advance.)
after refrigerating, if the dough feels too soft to roll out, work in a tiny bit of flour.
*****

to create her own holiday magic, mother nature let it snow those big ol’ fluffy flakes all morning. while lion snored away dear hubby and bear headed to the park to romp around for a bit. dear hubby also got our sirius radio set up so we’ve got a new variety of holiday music to dance and sing too! woot-woo!

after the sun had set and our sushi dinner devoured, we headed to a local park to see a colourful display of holiday lights. with cookies in hand, dressed in our holiday jammies we drove through the park ohh:ing and aah:ing at the fabulous light show. bear was in awe.

ho! ho! ho! holiday magic!

my little dancer.

December 16, 2011 by mama lola

this afternoon there was open house at bear’s ballet school. it was the first time we had ever seen him dance and it was one of the best moments of my life. seriously. he was the smiliest, happiest little ballet dancer i have ever seen.

when the little ballerinas entered the studio and my eyes met with bear’s my heart filled with incredible pride and love and my eyes filled with tears. he was probably the youngest and the smallest and obviously the only boy in his class. the little girls in their pink attire were lovely and darling to watch as they skipped around the studio.

there were two helpers and a teacher. bear was careful to listen to instructions and tried so hard to gallop across the floor, but his steps were a little off. lucky for him he is three and doesn’t quite recognize how (im)precise his steps are yet.

tin soldiers from the nutcracker with a helper dancer.

what i didn’t know and learned today, is that my little shy bear loves to perform and loves the audience. he looked confident and proud and just so joyful, that all i could do was smile.

*******
found this on my way to bed the other night…

not sure why, but holy cuteness batman!

holiday magic.

December 10, 2011 by mama lola

i am a real fan of christmas. i have such lovely memories from my own childhood of holidays spent with my family back in finland. my mom would cook an amazing dinner for us to enjoy on christmas eve. we never had turkey, like they serve here, but instead we had a multiple course meal which included glazed ham, fresh fish, possibly some smoked reindeer meat, various vegetables cooked in a variety of ways and of course ample desserts and treats to be nibbled on. as an adult today, i recognize the efforts she made each year trying to create some holiday magic at our house. and not just with food either; my mom was into making our own decorations and collecting natural treasures, and still is. (*note: i was speaking with a friend who fondly remembers last year’s holiday magic at my parents’ house, so it’s not just me).

joulutonttu, or the christmas elf left some chocolates for the kids in the advent calendar. it was messy and joyful. bear waited years before we gave him chocolate, lion is so lucky to be the second born!

i want my kids to feel the magic of the holidays too. it’s hard though, because my kids are still particularly little and their enthusiasm is very limited. but, still i plough on forward.

today bear and i made these cookies.

i’ve always been terrified of the ready-made doughs you can buy at the grocery store, but when i saw this recipe and saw how cute the cookies were i made an executive decision to ignore my fears and bake on. the simplicity and ease was shocking, but the chemicals still kinda freak me out. that being said, i think we created some holiday magic with this easy baking recipe, no clean up, all around hassle free.

this is the original recipe via pillsbury.
all you need is the cookie dough, they recommend the gingerbread one, but my local store didn’t have any so we used the albino sugar cookie stuff instead. various candies depending on the look you’re going for. we used various M&M colours for eyes and noses etc. the original recipe calls for chocolate chips for eyes, but we like colour in our cookies! also, make sure you get small pretzels. bear was so pleased in the end!

tomorrow i’m taking the kids to see the muppets! can’t wait!
i feel nostalgic already!

docs & tumour update.

December 9, 2011 by mama lola

not much to report from my big appointment the other day. i will continue to be monitored closely, as in, i will see my neurologist and endocrinologist again, in about 6 months time. i wll have to get another MRI done and the usual round of blood work. there are no obvious concerns; in fact things look great, but because i was pregnant when all of this went down, they don’t really know what my normal hormone levels are. it’s both re-assuring and worrisome to have to go back so soon.

i just want to be done, ya know? i am ready to move on and not have to think about my tumour anymore. i want to start planning things and setting goals, especially now that i am feeling better and am headache free. plus, the kids are getting bigger so it’s a great time to start putting our family adventures into full swing.

i don’t want to sound ungrateful, because i am very grateful to be where i am now and where we are as a family. we have had the wind knocked out of us, but we are finally on solid ground again. i am especially to eager to start preparing for the holidays, now that we are mostly healthy from that wicked flu we had. it’s going to be a busy few weeks preparing everything, but now that there is a little snow sprinkled out there it is certainly beginning to feel like christmas.

the advent calendar is a huge hit! i explained to the kids that a joulutonttu (x-mas elf) comes at night and leaves the surprise for them to discover in the morning. it was so worth it!

sweet dreams merry elves!

coming full circle.

December 6, 2011 by mama lola

today is finland’s independence day. we lit our two white candles, listened to the national anthem and i shed a few tears for my motherland. man, i miss that place so much.

tomorrow i have a very important date with my tumour team in the big city. it’s my annual check up: that’s right, it’s been a year since my surgery. the anniversary passed quietly on november 12th, with only a quick mention to dear hubby and some quiet thoughts on my own. it’s been a wonderful year without the debilitating migraines and the handfuls of T3’s i would eat almost daily.
it’ll be two years ago on december 18th that my family doctor phoned me at home and told me i had a tumour in my head and had to get to an opthamologist immediately. two years ago that my life changed in a way that i never could have predicted. december 21st will be two years since my first meeting with my neurosurgeon. we discussed the possibilities of surgery, but since i was only about 3 months pregnant with lion, everyone was unsure about what to do next. that holiday season of 2009 was really surreal and filled with fear. our families didn’t even know i was pregnant until we formally announced it at each family’s christmas dinner. first we discussed the horror of the tumour and then we threw in that we were expecting. what an emotional rollercoaster!

but, we survived and are here to tell the tale.

tomorrow’s appointment is to discuss the results of the MRI and bloodwork i had done in the fall. i am feeling hopeful and optimistic, but there is also a part of me that is terrified. so many what if’s are jumping around my head and it’s hard to remain completely rational at all times!