bear’s blood.

March 3, 2012 by mama lola

on friday morning, my mr. 4 year old bear had a vial of blood taken from his left arm. he sat on my lap, while one nurse held his arm down and the other gently jabbed a needle with a tube into his arm, that then attached to the vial. he was getting blood work done to find out what is causing his eczema.

little man didn’t even blink. he stared closely to what they were doing; didn’t say a word, didn’t cry or whine; sat still, while i tried not to explode with pride.

once the blood was taken and a bandage put on, he whimpered a bit as we walked back to the car. because bear was so well behaved, we headed to the massive toy store across the road and took our time looking for the perfect “treat”. he decided on some fancy play-doh equipment. the $20 was totally worth it.

[ “this is the one i want daddy!” ]

we also explored the lego section closely, but only admiring the boxes with pictures of shuttles, houses and helicopters. when we said it was time to go, bear excitedly gave the cashier his fancy playdoh box and off we headed to lunch.

it was so pleasant and fun, and his behaviour reminded me that he really is a quiet, calm kid. it is very unusual for him to meltdown in public, to scream and fuss and carry on. it is the shyness in him that keeps him still during blood work.

[ does this look like a face of someone who just had blood taken? ]

lion, our sweet little man should also get some recognition. although, during the blood work he only watched from the safety of his dad’s arms, he too was a delight to be with. at the toy store he chatted from the cart, pointing to various colourful toys and laughing with unbridled joy.

my boys have again, reminded me that they know how to behave in various situations. bear sets a wonderful example for his little brother, and lion follows closely. i feel so proud of my children and who they have become, and who they are growing to be. dear hubby says the kids are who they are because i am home with the all day every day, always teaching and guiding. it’s nice to hear his support, but who really knows why we are the way we are!

the boys played with the play-doh for about an hour before getting tired. then they played with it when the baby-sitter came!

happy saturday everyone!
see ya tomorrow!

natural medicine & eczema.

February 29, 2012 by mama lola

so my eldest kid has some bad eczema. and when i say bad, i mean BAD. now, I know a lot of people who also suffer from eczema, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard them say that it’s as bad as this. this makes me sad, as if someone else has it this bad, they could give us some advice to help manage it. but they can’t. even if it was this bad, some of them have said that they’d turn to things like cannabigerol to help control it. apparently, CBG is one of the cannabinoids tested as a potential treatment for these types of skin issues, which is great as it gives people hope. of course, it’s not available for everyone because cannabis products aren’t legal in every state yet. that being said, someone I know has been using a product like this cbd oil for eczema and has had some great results. but I don’t think it’s suitable for a child, so we have to find other ways to ease his suffering. he has one particular spot in the crease of his left elbow that is really itchy and patchy, and it’s been there for months. he also gets various flare ups all over his body; behind his knees, hips, back, now chest, face, and once he was even covered from head to toe! sometimes if the eczema gets really bad, the patches seeps and oozes liquid, it’s pretty freaky! that’s when bear wants to put a bandage on.

we’ve been seeing a naturopath, as our family doctor’s help basically ended after his allergy testing came back completely clear of anything. not even a hint of a sensitivity to anything. we’ve had use cortisone cream pretty intensely, as that really has been the only thing that will help.

the naturopath has him taking a probiotic and a spoon full of cod liver oil daily. I didn’t realise how important probiotics were for him until I spoke to his doctor. A lot of my friends take supplements with probiotics in (such as morning complete and similar products), but I didn’t know that children could benefit from it too. he also gets a castor oil belly massage nightly. this week we are off to get some blood work done, to identify what is causing this terrible reaction. it’s obviously food related and it didn’t show up on the previous allergy tests as bear does not have an anafelactic allergy to the trigger. it seems he has a low riding sensitivity to something and his immune system is desperately trying to rid his body of the “toxin”, and currently it’s happening via the skin.

fingers crossed we get some solid results. we are paying for these tests out of our pocket. but, i can’t put a price on the help he’s getting. and living life eczema free, cortisone free and allergy free is our goal. there are support groups out there for parents who’s kids have eczema and for people who have it; that’s how bad it can get!

we have some special out-of-town friends coming to play today! fun!

kitchen upgrade!

February 23, 2012 by mama lola

i’ve never liked the kitchen in our sweet little house. it’s small and everything was always poorly placed. this is where we were last summer. well, after some serious tweaking on our part, i think we have cheaply re-designed the space without actually doing any renovations! we returned the large country-style cabinet to dear hubby’s folks. although it was practical for storage, the size and dark colour of the piece was overwhelming in our kitchen and removing it brightened the space so much.

[ old walls were a hideous dark blue/green and have been painted white since & old fridge replaced. ]

[ i took these pictures amidst dinner prep, hence the pots and stuff every where! ]

dear hubby put up some simple open shelves for items that are pretty, and things we use often. (that’s the corner the old heavy cabinet used to occupy.) obviously i need to do some finalizing and arranging, and put pictures up and so forth, but hopefully you can recognize the difference from before to present.
we also went to IKEA and purchased a big island that fits perfectly under our big window. it’s so amazing and brings me joy every day.

now, the terrible pine cabinets, which i loathe, aren’t as bad somehow.

Now the kitchen has been basically done we have been thinking about tackling the bathroom! I’m not saying it looks bad but some renovation can be good, especially in a bathroom, sealants can get worn away, glass can become loose and cabinets can have a few scrapes and cracks in them, (curtesy of the children!) so it is bound to eventually happen. We have been looking at tile designs and colour schemes as well as seamless shower doors to give it a crisp look without the hassel of bulky white sealant all around. It’s a dream but an attainable one at that! Afterwards, who knows what we’ll tackle next, but the work never stops!

*******
we have a four-legged house guest. he has a silly tail and a ridiculous face.
HORATIO!

the kids are over joyed and today we went to the pet store and bought some stinky liver treats for him. i’m not sure who was happier, bear dishing out the goods or horatio gobbling them up! he has great difficulty on our unusually sized stairs and at night dear hubby carries the beast up for bed. horatio fell down the stairs once and it was pretty heartbreaking. his proportions are so distorted and disturbing, which make it difficult for him to move with any agility. he also struggles on our hard wood and linoleum floors, so we’ve placed a contemporary rug accordingly creating a path from the front of the house to the back. he slips if they’re not there and kinda panics! poor guy! Speaking of rugs, I’ve actually been looking at getting some new ones from a website like Topteppiche. Ours are looking very tatty at the minute and I think it’s definitely time for an upgrade! Since we had the kitchen done, they don’t really match the new decor so I’m currently looking for a couple of new rugs similar to the ones we already have. I’m actually really enjoying doing all of this furniture shopping. It’s so fun!

to trust or not to trust.

February 21, 2012 by mama lola

it’s been a tough week for me as a mama.

bear has been exhibiting behaviours that are uncalled for, which combined with his social anxieties, make him tough company to keep. last week during a play date at our house he and his buddy dumped (and when i say dumped, i mean emptied) three big bottles of kiddie paint all over the art room table, which then dripped in chunks onto the carpeted floor. the whole situation was shocking and took forever for my friend to steam clean the rug. (luckily she lives close by and was able to hop in the car and get her machine in the first place! thanks mamaS!) I was thinking about buying Bazaar Velvet: Handcrafted Designer and Custom Rugs from London, UK but I’m scared they’ll get ruined last our last rug did!

[post painting lunch]

[baby A, about 10 days old. i was trying to take his picture with one hand i was holding him with my other.
he is precious.]

that incident made me realize, that although it was out of character for bear, that maybe that’s the whole point of behaviour like that. kids are given too much trust or freedom and then they push the limits with obscene behaviour like paint dumping or hitting friends or slamming doors or whatever. bear is working on earning his trust back and is allowed limited time alone upstairs unsupervised whether alone or on a play date, at home or someone else’s house. i think it’s the only way to really make him understand what trust and freedom actually are. i mean, after all i’m now going to be looking into this Rug Cleaning Melbourne Eastern Suburbs company to have my carpet and rug cleaned properly. here’s to hoping bear has learned his lesson.

[play date fun with friends]

but, it’s tough for me as his mama. i never thought that would be my kid, right? and everyone i talk to about these behaviours echoes their surprise “oh, that really doesn’t sound like bear”. it’s hard to know who he is sometimes. he is this growing, evolving person who is learning how to navigate the world and tests the boundaries in all sorts of ways. i guess this age also includes being intentionally mean, whether physically or verbally.
i feel sick just writing about this.

[beautiful missE]

my gut says some of this is related to his anxiety. he always, ALWAYS has various sized meltdowns in new situations and unfamiliar places, but also just places that are not our home. this weekend we went on the fairy hike, where he cried upon arrival, and here’s how our conversation sounded the following night at dinner…
bear: i cried yesterday at the new place.
me: yup. you did. it’s ok to cry, do you know why you cried?
bear: because we were at someone’s else’s house and i wanted to be home.
(the hike started at the nature centre, which is looks like an old house)

i’m hugging him more. picking him up and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

i’m going to stop here…
i’m tired.
i obviously need some ideas on how to deal with all of this, i would love to hear your opinions. and any book recommendations would be appreciated as well.

looking for fairies.

February 19, 2012 by mama lola

we went on a fairy hunt on saturday with friends. it was an exciting trek through the the wilds of high park, in the big city. it was organized through the nature centre. and although bear had a difficult time initially, he eventually warmed up to the two hour hike looking for these magical forest dwellers.

we waited for chickadees to come and eat seeds from sassyS’s hand. along the hike we collected materials to build fairy huts and learned about the wonders of nature. there was also some tree lovin’ and hugging!

we had a guide, john, who was wonderful. he taught the children (and adults) all sorts of details about the environment we live in. it was great!

at the end, as we were heading back to the car, i fell on a super muddy hill and slid down a few metres in the grossness. i didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so i grumbled through smiles.

HAPPY FAMILY DAY LONG-WEEKEND!!!!

i feel the love.

February 13, 2012 by mama lola

today we celebrated our sweet bear turning four. we had a small handful of friends and family over. we munched on dear hubby’s delicious homemade pizza, soup and of course birthday cake!

last night bear started to express some anxiety about turning four and the changes that would take place. he sat in my lap, holding back a cry as he told me he didn’t want to have a party or turn four. bear was worried about his clothes not fitting him anymore, and going to a new school in the fall. oh my! such real worries, and tough for someone so little to process alone. luckily, bear was able to overcome his worries, at least for today, and enjoy his party.

so, today we celebrated. it was such a wonderful party; the kids had fun as did the adults. lion fell asleep in his mummo’s arms just after everyone arrived.

this wee fella was a big hit with everyone. he was so quiet and sweet. i was lucky enough to hold him for a few minutes and his tiny body was such a delight in my arms. he really made my uterus ache!

our youngest guest at 9 days of age. what a delight!

the cake was designed baked by bear, with some assistance from dear hubby and the two of them decorated it together. bear decided after his third birthday that for his fourth birthday he wanted a triangle cake. all year he has been reminding us of this request and today it came to fruition. such a funny request!

what a (chapped) smile!
today i felt the love for my boy from so many people. it is a wonderful thing to witness your child interact with his peers in a respectable, kind, and loving way. bear has some friends now. real friends. friends whom he asks about, actually remembers, and looks forward to spending time with.

do you see the bow ties the kids are wearing? i made them for the kiddos instead of handing out loot bags. they all loved ’em! i posted a tutorial, because they are super easy to make!

G’NIGHT!

granola mama, crunch, crunch.

February 10, 2012 by mama lola

this has been circulating on facebook, did you see it?

i think it’s hilarious, because this crunchy mama is such an extreme stereotype of what it means to be a crunchy mama. she mentions many of the key ideas that crunchy parents tend to do differently than mainstream parents, like opting to co-sleep, baby-wear, homebirth, cloth diaper, and opting for more natural health solutions like eating garlic or taking spirulina! i don’t like her judgemental tone about how other mamas mother, as she’s assuming her choices are best. which may be true for her family, but perhaps not for others.

[we are avid baby-wearers, both of us. above, lion at a few weeks old and still quite yellow from the jaundice. below, bear is conked out on dear hubby’s back at about 14 months of age.]

i tend to mother on the crunchier side of the spectrum. sometimes i feel like i shove attachment parenting beliefs down people’s throats, other times i feel as though i am not vocal enough about things like the positives of co-sleeping with a baby (especially a breastfed newby). i’ve actually become quite low key about breastfeeding, which when bear was a baby was a hot topic for me. some of you may remember my 30 seconds of fame a few years back when the local CTV station came to our house and interviewed me about facebook attacking women who post pictures of themselves breastfeeding.
(i tried to search CTV’s site for the clip, but alas, their search only goes until 2010. perhaps if i switched my facebook page to the new timeline format i could find it. sigh.)

this is the picture facebook found offensive and removed. i think, now, it is available again for viewing in my profile pictures. to me, this picture reminds of a time when bear was about 10 months, learning to walk and feeling pretty sensitive with his new found independence. you can see the tears as a result of probably colliding with a table corner or something! this is a mama nurturing her baby, nothing else.

although i am still a HUGE advocate of breastfeeding, i think my focus and passions in my mothering career are evolving with the needs of my kids and family. as we prepare for the world of academia and school, i am becoming aware that my role as a SAHM/ homemaker is only in its early years. even when my kids are both in all day school i will still be the mom who is available to volunteer in the classroom, field trips and is always nearby. perhaps i will take on part-time work, but for us and our family, having a parent home is the only way we can do this parenting thing. maybe one day dear hubby will be the one who is home in the afternoons and doing school pick ups and making dinner, who knows. but one thing i do know is, one of us will be here. always.

it is very frustrating when i hear people comment “oh, i wish i could afford to stay at home like you”. it makes it sound as though we are millionaires and truth be told we are far from that. it just means that what we deem important, and what is worth sacrificing, is different from the mainstream parents i think. we live in a small house, 2 bedrooms and one-and-half stories, no big tv’s here, one car, and lots of second-hand furniture and clothes. i could go on, but i’m sure my point is made.
all families and parents make sacrifices; we chose to sacrifice on material items so that i can stay home. like everything in life, these are the choices we made.

oh, the joys of baby-led-weaning! here’s bear and his beautiful spaghetti face! I’m really glad we chose to do led-weaning with him. My friend told me to check out best for mums to learn about it and after doing lots of research, I decided it was definitely something that I wanted to do!

hump day!

February 9, 2012 by mama lola

bear is officially registered for school! his upcoming fourth birthday and getting him signed up for school are all coinciding, which emphasizes his growing up faster than i can keep up. we’ve had some long in depth conversations about what school is, what he’ll do there, who will be there and the purpose of it all. he’s worried that he doesn’t know how to read or that he doesn’t have a lunch bag. sweet bear! i think i will make a simple velcro bag for his lunch and then i can personalize it to his taste. i’ll also make some more reusable baggies so we can do the whole garbage free lunch, which is so easy to do and such an important lesson for the kids.

today bear zipped up his own jeans. what? are you kidding me? i mentioned to him last week that he will have to learn how to do all of these clothing things on his own in preparation for school. last week he unbuttoned a dress shirt on his own. he really isn’t three anymore and has moved onto four.
i am bursting with pride!

i’m getting my hair done this friday. it’s a big deal and worth writing about, because i so rarely go to the hairdresser’s. i am so excited as i will get my hair done and then for date night dear hubby and i will go see pina!

i get goosebumps watching the trailer.
i love dance.
and bikers.

it’s supposed to snow on friday. going for bike rides in february seems ludicrous… in canada! and looking at our dismal backyard, i really hope we get some big ol’ white flakes. If so, it would be just in time for bear’s birthday!

happy hump-pa-di-hump day to all!

four, FOUR: almost there!

February 6, 2012 by mama lola

bear has been asking “is it my birthday” almost daily since christmas. if you ask when his birthday is he will answer “febwruary four (pause) teeth”, but, clearly, knowing the date has not helped him countdown to his day of celebration.

i’ve been scouring pinterest for fun and simple party ideas. sometimes i tend to take too much on and for this birthday, i want to keep things easy and light. i’ve started cutting some scrap paper into funky streamers. i am also hoping to make a custom birthday boy shirt for my bear to wear to his party and on his actual birthday when he goes to preschool.

[both shirt examples found on pinterest]

we sent some funky homemade invitations out to a few friends simo specifically wanted to invite. we decided that it’s up to him to decide who he wants here for his party.

i am getting pretty nostalgic thinking about my belly four years ago, being super pregnant and entering this mysterious thing called motherhood…. i will write more about that later this week.

welcome to my pity party.

February 5, 2012 by mama lola

it’s been a terrible year for health for the kids, but me in particular. the kids were sick the past two weeks with colds that are still clinging on with pesky coughs at night. i got strep (again!) about two weeks ago and did a round of antibiotics and then a few days after they were done got hit by the strep pain once more. this time my doctor is wondering if something else is going on so i had some blood work done on friday. let’s just say she mentioned mono…augh!

[the sickness allowed us to order in some food, like this yummy sushi!]

i had a bit of a pity party for myself on friday. feeling sorry for myself for having received a strep diagnosis for the fourth time since november; worrying that i would have to miss bear’s 4th birthday party next sunday; and just feeling pathetic that at 33 years of age it seems i am always sick, when i so feel like i deserve a break. ya know? it doesn’t help that dear hubby is never sick, even though he is a poster boy for computer geek unhealthiness!

my new year’s resolution is “clear eyes, strong hearts, can’t lose” (from friday night lights), but it feels like that’s not a goal worth working towards. even with the best of intentions things are looking bleak. i started journaling what i eat and was going to send it for analysis to a friendly expert in women’s health. now, even that kinda seems pointless…. it seems as though i am doomed to forever be unwell.

[finnish camping mugs]

but really, can i actually live my life thinking that, can i? i’m typically looking for the positive in things, even in the darkest of days, so why am i feeling so defeated now? i think it’s partly, because i feel like i deserve a break in life. and i guess this string of strep is a sign that life does not work that way. and being sick a lot tends to beat down on one’s optimism after a while. i will finish up journaling for my friendly expert and send the embarrassing details off in hopes she can guide me. i will also continue going to the Y when feeling healthy enough.

i will try my darnedest not feel sorry for myself, but will hold my chin up and keep moving.
CLEAR EYES,
FULL HEARTS,
CAN’T LOSE!