where children sleep.

March 30, 2012 by mama lola

i saw this link on the internet. it is a photographic editorial about the different places children sleep on, all over the world. it was quite shocking, upsetting and heart breaking to be visually shown these dirty, dangerous and uncomfortable places a child was expected to sleep and dream and prepare for the following day.

i feel a tremendous sense of gratitude right now, after watching that slide show. although bear is struggling with his eczema and it is turning out to be a bumpy road, at least my kids are safe and comfy upstairs in their bunk beds, tucked in between freshly laundered sheets, in soft pj’s, in a house that is warm and will protect from weather, animals and other potential dangers. If we do get anything like bed bugs, all we have to do is make one call to someone like Olathe pest control and it’s sorted in the same day.

we are lucky.
fortunate.
for so much.

good night.
sleep tight.
don’t let the bed bugs bite…

barley depression.

March 29, 2012 by mama lola

i’m in a bit of a barley depression.

bear’s eczema was on fire, again today. his right elbow crease is the worst, but his left is flaring badly as well. it’s all raw and seepingfluid. plus, his belly is covered in spots. or polka dots as he called them.

[ source ]

i now think he’s coming down with a cold. last time he was sick with the sniffles and a cough he got all rashy and the eczema got really bad.

[ source ]

i emailed my naturopath’s office with a few concerns. they phoned back immediately and offered an 15 minute consult with another doctor, as ours is on holidays. how sweet and lovely! then tonight, i received an email from our naturopath with suggestions on how to manage the flare-ups!

i feel like we’re in good hands. she’s on holidays and emailing us. that’s unheard of.

bear is cared for.

what a wonderful feeling for me in all of this helplessness.

my friend suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to consider cannabis from suppliers similar to Bud Express Now (https://www.budexpressnow.ca) to help me to manage my negative emotions. it can be frustrating having to deal with all of these health conditions, so I will give it some thought. i know that you are now allowed to grow your own cannabis, but i wouldn’t have a clue what to grow them in or anything and i just know i would have so many questions like how big should my plants be after 2 weeks and how long should they grow for? i can see why so many people do it though, when you take the health benefits into account.

barley research continues and seems bleaker each passing day.

but….

[ source ]

just gotta get ‘er done.
figure what brands we can trust, where to buy them.

any suggestions?

barley, and it’s dirty little secrets.

March 25, 2012 by mama lola

i did not blog yesterday and missed a day for NaBloPoMo. but, i was so tired after a long day in the big city, that i decided rather than posting a terrible post, i would just skip posting anything.
*********
so, here we are a fresh new day… sunday. we are ending the week on a good note. or trying to anyhow. dear hubby is making the usual sunday feast. homemade pizza with dough from the bread maker! yum!

i have started my research into bear’s various allergies or sensitivities to be more accurate. it seems that egg, being a well known and potentially serious allergen is labelled clearly on packaged food items. although, things like bagels and pretzels may not contain egg, but they might instead be glazed with it, and so not sure if it then has to legally be marked. not sure where to find this information either…

but, barley…. oh boy! bear has a medium sensitivity to barley, which i didn’t really think much of, until i started to read labels and see that it is in everything. kind of like wheat or gluten. with my research i stumbled upon story after story of people, who thought they themselves or their kid had a gluten or wheat intolerance, but turned out to be barley! i nearly got him a gluten intolerance test but i’m pretty sure he’s just allergic to barley. that said, it might be worth doing a few tests with him just to be 100% sure of what’s causing his symptoms. a barley allergy presents commonly with skin rashes, eczema, head aches, stomach problems, diarrhea etc., just like so many other intolerances.

i had never even heard of a barley allergy before thursday. but, dear hubby and i have decided to make our household barley free, because bear will be exposed to it out there in the world, without us knowing. barley can be mixed into wheat flours and does not have to be labelled; malt is most commonly made from barley and can be found in all sorts of foods, like cereals. barley may also be found in bear’s fave soup, miso. oh, dear!

allergen labelling is tricky business and the government has laws to try to protect the general public, but the rules aren’t air tight and the gaps can be dangerous for some.

it’s time to put our homemaker aprons on and really get into the swing of making more of our own foods. with bear’s eczema it has become clear to me that we, as a family, have to take more control of what we eat. i have taken food for granted, assuming, all be it half-heartedly, that most foods are safe to eat. but, as evident by our govenrment, if manufacturers don’t actually have to include every single possible ingredient in their products, then there is potential for harm to my kid. luckily, luckily for him the reaction will not be dangerous or severe, but maybe one day it will develop into an anaphalactic allergy.
nobody knows anything really, when it comes to allergies it seems.

*********

GAME ON!

our boys got a surprise toy from my parents… a hockey net and hockey sticks! i guess that’s what happens when you’re family is finnish/ canadian! the weather was wet and dreary for our visit, bt we had fun. earlier in the day we went to the out of the cold art show, my folks have been volunteering at. both boys came home with some well chosen art!

hope you’ll be back tomorrow!

thursday night quickie…

March 23, 2012 by mama lola

today we received bear’s blood work results from our naturopath and drum roll please… the kid is sensitive to eggs, the whole thing, and peas. he is disappointed he can’t eat eggs anymore, but that’s life, i guess. i am going to start researching what kinds of egg substitutes to use and for which recipes. i think it’s totally manageable for us to be egg free. there is incredible relief in me this evening as bear is not sensitive to a whole variety of foods; like gluten, dairy and eggs all together! whew!
the peas, um, well, it’s weird, right? we don’t eat a lot peas, but in the summer we’ll have to skip out on eating fresh peas straight out of the pods. so it goes!

here’s hoping that the tests were accurate and that eggs are the main culprit and we can get this terrible eczema off of his body. if anyone has any recipe book recommendations or websites, that would be great. the wealth of information out there is a bit overwhelming.

i love this boy so much.
look at his beautiful face, so easy to love.

who do i trust?

March 9, 2012 by mama lola

what a stressful 24 hours i have had. stressful, because i have been diagnosed with strep throat for the fifth time this winter. stressful, because i am not a carrier of this sickness, but a sufferer of it. stressful, because i was prescribed an antibiotic my pharmacist said could be passed on through my milk to my lion. it was implied i should stop breastfeeding.

my heart broke a bit at the thought of weaning my 20 month old lion. these days he only nurses once or twice a day, but the thought of ending those sweet, quiet moments we share made me realize it is not our time yet. i’m a huge believer in extended breastfeeding and think the benefits are immeasurable.

[ bear at 20 months, the age lion is now. ]

bear self-weaned when i was first diagnosed with my tumour back in december 2009. he was about 22 months and i was devastated. i think my milk changed as i was taking lots of strong pain killers. i had imagined tandem nursing both boys for a long time, and was devastated when bear boldly refused the breast.

yesterday, when it was suggested i wean, my heart broke. immediately.
i scoured the internet for information about breastfeeding and taking this strong antibiotic i was prescribed, and the literature basically says it’s a no-no. dear hubby talked to our pharmacist, explaining that lion is not a baby, but a 20 month old who eats well and only nurses for comfort really. still, he said it was not a good idea.

this morning, i called motherisk, an organization that helps pregnant and nursing mama’s figure out what medications or drugs they can use. they are affiliated with sick kids hospital, in toronto. i waited all night to call and this morning i talked to a lovely nurse, who explained that it was fine to breastfeed lion and take this antibiotic. if my kid was a baby and i was exclusively breastfeeding then it would not be recommended, but because he is big and healthy and eats solids like a normal kid, then it’s fine.

THANK GOODNESS!!!

finally, some good news!
i have learned over the last few years, the most medical experts will air on the side of caution and tell a mama not to continue breastfeeding. it’s best to consult with people who are experts at breastfeeding. it’s not because they want to misinform you, but because there is too much info out there. plus, when it comes to breastfeeding i think it becomes a liability thing. my point, it’s ok to ask for a second or third or fourth opinion.

[ kitchen helper. ]

so, here we at home for the day. i have taken one antibiotic and feel slightly high and loopy already. i’m sure that will pass once i get some lunch in me. the boys are busy with play-doh and i am wishing i could crash-out on the couch and watch degrassi junior high (my latest netflix addiction)!

fingers crossed the strep will be gone after this round of meds and i wont have to go see a specialist and talk surgery! oh, boy!

bear’s blood.

March 3, 2012 by mama lola

on friday morning, my mr. 4 year old bear had a vial of blood taken from his left arm. he sat on my lap, while one nurse held his arm down and the other gently jabbed a needle with a tube into his arm, that then attached to the vial. he was getting blood work done to find out what is causing his eczema.

little man didn’t even blink. he stared closely to what they were doing; didn’t say a word, didn’t cry or whine; sat still, while i tried not to explode with pride.

once the blood was taken and a bandage put on, he whimpered a bit as we walked back to the car. because bear was so well behaved, we headed to the massive toy store across the road and took our time looking for the perfect “treat”. he decided on some fancy play-doh equipment. the $20 was totally worth it.

[ “this is the one i want daddy!” ]

we also explored the lego section closely, but only admiring the boxes with pictures of shuttles, houses and helicopters. when we said it was time to go, bear excitedly gave the cashier his fancy playdoh box and off we headed to lunch.

it was so pleasant and fun, and his behaviour reminded me that he really is a quiet, calm kid. it is very unusual for him to meltdown in public, to scream and fuss and carry on. it is the shyness in him that keeps him still during blood work.

[ does this look like a face of someone who just had blood taken? ]

lion, our sweet little man should also get some recognition. although, during the blood work he only watched from the safety of his dad’s arms, he too was a delight to be with. at the toy store he chatted from the cart, pointing to various colourful toys and laughing with unbridled joy.

my boys have again, reminded me that they know how to behave in various situations. bear sets a wonderful example for his little brother, and lion follows closely. i feel so proud of my children and who they have become, and who they are growing to be. dear hubby says the kids are who they are because i am home with the all day every day, always teaching and guiding. it’s nice to hear his support, but who really knows why we are the way we are!

the boys played with the play-doh for about an hour before getting tired. then they played with it when the baby-sitter came!

happy saturday everyone!
see ya tomorrow!

natural medicine & eczema.

February 29, 2012 by mama lola

so my eldest kid has some bad eczema. and when i say bad, i mean BAD. now, I know a lot of people who also suffer from eczema, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard them say that it’s as bad as this. this makes me sad, as if someone else has it this bad, they could give us some advice to help manage it. but they can’t. even if it was this bad, some of them have said that they’d turn to things like cannabigerol to help control it. apparently, CBG is one of the cannabinoids tested as a potential treatment for these types of skin issues, which is great as it gives people hope. of course, it’s not available for everyone because cannabis products aren’t legal in every state yet. that being said, someone I know has been using a product like this cbd oil for eczema and has had some great results. but I don’t think it’s suitable for a child, so we have to find other ways to ease his suffering. he has one particular spot in the crease of his left elbow that is really itchy and patchy, and it’s been there for months. he also gets various flare ups all over his body; behind his knees, hips, back, now chest, face, and once he was even covered from head to toe! sometimes if the eczema gets really bad, the patches seeps and oozes liquid, it’s pretty freaky! that’s when bear wants to put a bandage on.

we’ve been seeing a naturopath, as our family doctor’s help basically ended after his allergy testing came back completely clear of anything. not even a hint of a sensitivity to anything. we’ve had use cortisone cream pretty intensely, as that really has been the only thing that will help.

the naturopath has him taking a probiotic and a spoon full of cod liver oil daily. I didn’t realise how important probiotics were for him until I spoke to his doctor. A lot of my friends take supplements with probiotics in (such as morning complete and similar products), but I didn’t know that children could benefit from it too. he also gets a castor oil belly massage nightly. this week we are off to get some blood work done, to identify what is causing this terrible reaction. it’s obviously food related and it didn’t show up on the previous allergy tests as bear does not have an anafelactic allergy to the trigger. it seems he has a low riding sensitivity to something and his immune system is desperately trying to rid his body of the “toxin”, and currently it’s happening via the skin.

fingers crossed we get some solid results. we are paying for these tests out of our pocket. but, i can’t put a price on the help he’s getting. and living life eczema free, cortisone free and allergy free is our goal. there are support groups out there for parents who’s kids have eczema and for people who have it; that’s how bad it can get!

we have some special out-of-town friends coming to play today! fun!

welcome to my pity party.

February 5, 2012 by mama lola

it’s been a terrible year for health for the kids, but me in particular. the kids were sick the past two weeks with colds that are still clinging on with pesky coughs at night. i got strep (again!) about two weeks ago and did a round of antibiotics and then a few days after they were done got hit by the strep pain once more. this time my doctor is wondering if something else is going on so i had some blood work done on friday. let’s just say she mentioned mono…augh!

[the sickness allowed us to order in some food, like this yummy sushi!]

i had a bit of a pity party for myself on friday. feeling sorry for myself for having received a strep diagnosis for the fourth time since november; worrying that i would have to miss bear’s 4th birthday party next sunday; and just feeling pathetic that at 33 years of age it seems i am always sick, when i so feel like i deserve a break. ya know? it doesn’t help that dear hubby is never sick, even though he is a poster boy for computer geek unhealthiness!

my new year’s resolution is “clear eyes, strong hearts, can’t lose” (from friday night lights), but it feels like that’s not a goal worth working towards. even with the best of intentions things are looking bleak. i started journaling what i eat and was going to send it for analysis to a friendly expert in women’s health. now, even that kinda seems pointless…. it seems as though i am doomed to forever be unwell.

[finnish camping mugs]

but really, can i actually live my life thinking that, can i? i’m typically looking for the positive in things, even in the darkest of days, so why am i feeling so defeated now? i think it’s partly, because i feel like i deserve a break in life. and i guess this string of strep is a sign that life does not work that way. and being sick a lot tends to beat down on one’s optimism after a while. i will finish up journaling for my friendly expert and send the embarrassing details off in hopes she can guide me. i will also continue going to the Y when feeling healthy enough.

i will try my darnedest not feel sorry for myself, but will hold my chin up and keep moving.
CLEAR EYES,
FULL HEARTS,
CAN’T LOSE!

blarghy, sick.

February 1, 2012 by mama lola

the boys have been sick with stubborn colds.

first lion was hit, then bear. the snot has flowed freely down from each of their sweet little noses and into their mouths for about a week now. bear also has a persistent cough; you know the dry kind that tickles and tickles in the back of your throat that no amount of coughing can get rid of. i am a broken record repeating “cough into your elbow”, but really, they are both just aiming for me.

having two sick people isolates us from the rest of the world. we really haven’t done anything fun or exciting since the weekend, and even then i wanted to cancel on our plans with friends.

but we’ve been trying to keep busy at home. the boys adore the doorway swing/ gym set they received for christmas, especially bear. check out his fancy moves!

he loves to do tricks on it; hang upside down, climb up in various ways, and swing higher and higher while pumping furiously with his legs. i am so glad we joulupukki/ santa got it for the boys. i was cruising pinterest, when i found this swing. what a beauty! not quite as good for the acrobatics, but certainly lovely to look at and i’m certain it’s comfy on the tush too.

[source: here]

what a beauty, eh?

hope you and yours are healthy.
swing on, baby!

where do i go from here?

January 28, 2012 by mama lola

sometimes it feels as though everyone around me is moving forwards in life. their momentum appears to be positive and energetic and full of optimism, while i’m stuck in the doom and gloom of the grey winter blahs. i don’t want to sound ungrateful or whiny, because neither is my intention. but, i suppose i feel bored. not as in i have nothing to do, because i have plenty to do, but i guess in a more, i am understimulated kind of bored.

[source: here]

as my children grow and gain more independence, i find myself wondering more about what my future holds. as i peek into the crystal ball i see plenty of familial time. but, i also see myself as a more refreshed image of who i am today. refreshed by what i am doing, how i am doing things and where i am doing it. i had a massage before the holidays, and the masseuse said to me (quite rudely and unprofessionally) that i looked depleted. i immediately felt defensive and embarrassed of my depleted self. but, once i got over the shock of what she said (several days later, mind you) it dawned on me that she was onto something.

although, it doesn’t matter what she thinks of me or what anyone thinks of me actually (well…), i did have to admit that she was onto something. my body has been through some significant stresses over the last few years and as a consequence my body has become a weak, soft, vessel that gets sick and exhausted easily.

my point in this friday ramble, is that so many things in life are not important. as i sit in the haze that has become my life, i am willing to move forwards and move towards a more focused and clearer future. one that is stimulating, challenging and exciting in all the right ways! although the winter blah’s are sitting tightly on my shoulders, i do see a twinkle in the horizon of light and life, and i am keen to move towards it.