four, FOUR: almost there!

February 6, 2012 by mama lola

bear has been asking “is it my birthday” almost daily since christmas. if you ask when his birthday is he will answer “febwruary four (pause) teeth”, but, clearly, knowing the date has not helped him countdown to his day of celebration.

i’ve been scouring pinterest for fun and simple party ideas. sometimes i tend to take too much on and for this birthday, i want to keep things easy and light. i’ve started cutting some scrap paper into funky streamers. i am also hoping to make a custom birthday boy shirt for my bear to wear to his party and on his actual birthday when he goes to preschool.

[both shirt examples found on pinterest]

we sent some funky homemade invitations out to a few friends simo specifically wanted to invite. we decided that it’s up to him to decide who he wants here for his party.

i am getting pretty nostalgic thinking about my belly four years ago, being super pregnant and entering this mysterious thing called motherhood…. i will write more about that later this week.

blarghy, sick.

February 1, 2012 by mama lola

the boys have been sick with stubborn colds.

first lion was hit, then bear. the snot has flowed freely down from each of their sweet little noses and into their mouths for about a week now. bear also has a persistent cough; you know the dry kind that tickles and tickles in the back of your throat that no amount of coughing can get rid of. i am a broken record repeating “cough into your elbow”, but really, they are both just aiming for me.

having two sick people isolates us from the rest of the world. we really haven’t done anything fun or exciting since the weekend, and even then i wanted to cancel on our plans with friends.

but we’ve been trying to keep busy at home. the boys adore the doorway swing/ gym set they received for christmas, especially bear. check out his fancy moves!

he loves to do tricks on it; hang upside down, climb up in various ways, and swing higher and higher while pumping furiously with his legs. i am so glad we joulupukki/ santa got it for the boys. i was cruising pinterest, when i found this swing. what a beauty! not quite as good for the acrobatics, but certainly lovely to look at and i’m certain it’s comfy on the tush too.

[source: here]

what a beauty, eh?

hope you and yours are healthy.
swing on, baby!

better than 3.

January 26, 2012 by mama lola

those of you who have been reading this blog regularly, know that i have had a difficult year with my three year old, bear. it feels as though we have been fighting about everything, living in tension and struggling through the simplest of daily tasks.

just before christmas a shift occurred and things changed at our house. a wave of joy and calm rode in, which i initially thought was santa related, but the joy has stayed (with the exception of the christmas rage). the delightful 2 year old bear i knew and loved a while back has returned and is here to stay. today he is an articulate, funny, artistic and curious almost 4 year old, however. we have bid farewell to the three year old boy who brought with him such fight.

looking back, while we were in the throws of three, i never thought it would end. the endless friction was exhausting and ate away at my self. i felt like a failure, constantly overwhelmed by tremendous feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

although i suspect i will never be a truly confident mother, i hope i will take strength away from this last year. i have no idea what the future ages and stages of development will bring, but i think we will survive.

our lion will one day be three, but i don’t think it’ll be quite as difficult with him. i don’t want to sound cocky, but i have few more notches in the ol’ mothering belt and experience has taught me greatly. plus, the logistics of our family will be quite different.

when lion is three, bear will be a fulltime student in school and lion himself will be in preschool, meaning i will have time FOR MYSELF! dare i even say this?!? i will have time to properly re-charge my batteries, so that when those power struggles present themselves i will be calmer, better rested and also hopefully more rational as a result.

meow, kitties.
happy midweek everyone!

tomboy.

January 20, 2012 by mama lola

last night dear hubby and i had a midweek date night instead of having the usual friday night date. my MIL law stayed with the boys, while dear hubby and i went out for delicious indian food and an impromptu movie. we saw this:

“tomboy” is a french movie, set in an unknown town in france and revolves around a family and the summer adventures the kids get into. it is a movie that explores the assumptions we as adults, as parents, make about our children’s gender based on their sex; about the importance we place on being female/male, girl/boy and how those ideas trickle down to the younger generation. but, as heavy and complex as the subject matter of gender identity is, this movie was light and subtle in its presentation and exploration of the issue. it was honest and beautiful, but not in a typical tear jerky way, but rather a raw depiction of how it might feel or look like for a kid to question themselves and their gender.

i loved it. i was surprised at the direction it took and would recommend everyone to go out and see it. for local peeps, it’s playing downtown at the bookshelf. get some popcorn and coffee, sit back and enjoy.

and speaking of gender…

as a mama to two male children i try very hard not to impose too many male stereotypes on them. what does it matter if they wear rubber boots with flowers, what does it matter if they wear pink undies or tights, what does it matter if we paint our nails together or put barrettes in each others hair, why does anyone care if my kids have bed sheets with pink hearts on them or bows on their clothes?

bear, june 2010.

bear, march 2010.

are these external choices of mine going to define their identity, absolutely not. am i making my kids gay? absolutely not. but i know what people think when they see us stomping down the street. for now, bear and lion are oblivious, but one day they will feel people’s judgmental eyes on them. once, a kid randomly asked bear if he was girl or a boy, because of his flowery boots. i was shocked, but bear was cool and said he was a boy. it is astonishing that the colour of one’s boots is what we use to classify people.

lion in pink, july 2011.

i could rant on about this topic, as it really gets my blood boiling. i will stop. but, just listen to yourself and see how many times a day you say gender loaded things like “good boy/ girl”, “beautiful, lovely, sweet girl”, “handsome, tough, smart boy”. we are so programmed to describe our kids with very specific words. i know i am always catching myself too.

axl rose, of Gn’R.

happy thusday to everyone, no matter how you identify, cuz i don’t give a rat’s ass!

hear lion roaring.

January 10, 2012 by mama lola

lion has arrived. ROAR!
2012 is going to be his year to shine, roar and get noticed. being second born is tough work, with big shoes to fill and high expectations to meet, but i can already see that glint of attention seeking talent in his eyes. i can’t wait to watch him!
he’s bursting with growth right now. he is finally out of 9 month clothes and pretty much in 12-18 month stuff exclusively, which is a big deal as he is 18 months old. he’s always been teeny, but this past week he’s put the rest of us in our places by eating more than anyone and sleeping two naps a day: GROWTH SPURT anyone?!

lion has always been determined to be like his big brother, but since the holidays he’s actually been requested to participate in games and even given responsibilities. it breaks my heart that my littlest guy is growing up so quickly. to be honest, i actually think i’m in a bit of denial about it. for some reason in my mind he is a baby, who is only one or so and not capable of much, but in reality he will be a toddling two year old this july, who is so capable of doing so much. his comprehension shocks me daily, as he responds to my words or recognizes and initiates daily habits we motion through during the day. things like getting his boots from the shoe rack or getting his toque and putting it on. or pointing enthusiastically to his toothbrush when we’re all huddled in the bathroom. or helping set the table for dinner and then running to his chair when dinner is about to be served.

we went to the park the other day. lion swung, had a snack and then fell asleep in my arms. when it was time to go home he wasn’t ready to wake-up so i lay him on our stuff in the wagon. he slept the entire way home, even though the wagon was bumping around on the sidewalk! so sweet! later that afternoon he had a second nap in his cozy bed.

when bear was this age, i was already pregnant with lion. that realiz
ation blows me away, as back then i saw bear as a big kid not a baby like i see lion. i suppose i am not the only one who has done this. it’s hard not to compare your kids, especially when they are close in age and the same sex.

how do you feel about your kids growing up?

skating party, with a side of teeth and birthday love!

January 8, 2012 by mama lola

today our city’s mayor hosted a party with skating, and music and treats, and lots of fun.

bear donned his skates for the first time, evah and off we went. it was excruciating holding him, but after a couple of rounds around the rink he wanted to do it on his own. i was bursting with pride — even though he kept falling, he would smile and pick himself up and try again. what a guy!

the zamboni came along and gave him a well deserved break!

lion was happy to watch from the sidelines.

he is riding a massive teething wave, which i don’t think has crested yet. he is constantly rubbing his gums with a finger, or toy, or furniture or his beloved soother! it looks like his gums are going to explode. they are so red and bulbous (ugh, hate that word), with tiny speckles of white teethy pearls shining through. our teething experience has been so different this time with lion, compared with bear. i just hope my little lion’s teeth come sooner rather than later, because the constant whining and super sensitive state he is in, is painful to watch and live with. If they don’t come soon, we’ll be taking a trip to Dentist Greenbelt for future support! Hopefully it’ll be sorted then and he won’t be in so much pain. I can not wait until his teeth come through, although, from what I can see peeping through at the moment, I am feeling quite jealous. No, not because of the pain he’s experiencing but because of how white they look, its amazing! This has prompted me to do some research on teeth whitening products so I can have some good looking nashers of my own. I’ve already searched up questions like “how long do crest white strips take to work” and “reviews on teeth whitening toothpaste”, so I know I’m bound to find the perfect solution soon. Anyways, lets focus on my son’s growing teeth for the time being…

one of our sweet little friends turned ONE on friday and i wanted to share a picture of her eating her birthday cupcake! happy birthday sweet girl! xoxo

hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

christmas rage: what’s that you ask?

January 5, 2012 by mama lola

is it too late to write about Christmas?

now that the holidays are a warm, fuzzy memory and I’ve had a chance to decompress i can share something personal with you, my faithful reader: i lived with some serious Christmas rage! Christmas rage is exactly what it sounds like, rage experienced in-and-around Christmas. for me, the trigger revolves around dear hubby as it (sadly) has for many of my friends!
it’s that whole forgetful, fumbling, mumbling, procrastinating, a slow-moving disaster that dear hubby becomes around the holidays. I will admit that I knew I was marrying a mumbler and procrastinator, but the Christmas obligations really exaggerate these qualities in him, and combined with the stress I feel, it creates the rage. Unfortunately, this can cause some tense moments in the house. When you’re stressed, people can begin to irritate you easily. This causes an unhappy mood within the house. As it’s nearly Christmas, it’s important to be festive and happy, however, I find myself to be quite stressed and angry. When talking to one of my friends about this, she suggested that maybe I need to consider trying some of the black diamond weed strain. Apparently, she’s taken that before the Christmas holiday and she was completely relaxed and uplifted throughout the whole day. Maybe that’s the sort of thing I need to consider. I’ll have a look into that. Christmas is supposed to be fun and happy, so I need to try and be less stressed out.

one of our biggest problems is that i think Christmas is a season and not a day or two in December, as he does. during one of my rages this year dear hubby admitted to thinking x-mas started on the 24th and for me, it started a few weeks before. this is a huge difference in how we view and experience Christmas, and hopefully, we will take the lessons we learned in 2011 and apply them in 2012.

christmas is magical and i love all the music, traditions, smells and tastes that come along during this special time of year. but on the flip side, it is a lot of work too. there is a lot of pressure on me to remember all of the finer details about the holidays, who to shop for, make for, what to get, what to make, when to do it, making cards, deciding on the concept, etc etc.

it’s January 8th and I am planning next x-mas already. think what you may, but I don’t want to find myself in the same rage this year. I have suggested to dear hubby to get his shopping done by September, seriously, because then he can focus on the fun stuff around the holidays. and as the kids get bigger there will be more fun, winter, holiday activities to participate in, but if hubs is out doing last-minute shopping or wrapping or whatever, then his time will be limited with the family. plus, with bear starting school in the fall, he too will only have limited time during Christmas to romp and play.

and, finally, I want to clear up that Christmas rage wasn’t an ongoing fight at our house. we did have lots of fun, beautiful moments and created lots of warm memories as a family, dear hubby included.

i’d love to hear about your Christmas rage experiences and ways you’re hoping to combat the problem this year.

2012.

January 4, 2012 by mama lola

WELCOME 2012, NICE TO MEET CHA!
it’s time to start new and fresh, it is a new year after all. 2012 arrived in full glory with snow and rain and storms, but here we are safe and sound at home coming down from the holiday high.

we spent a glorious new year’s extra-long weekend with our dear friends at the cottage getting into all sorts of shanighans! kids of all sizes and generations had fun tobogganing, building forts and lumilyhty’s; we sat by the fire sipping various drinks and cocktails and munching on a lovely variety of festive treats; the conversations flowed easily, opinions were debated and ideas developed. it was fantastic!

there was a spectacular fireworks presentation thanks to papaD. unfortunately, bear was growly and little ozFire (almost 2yrs) was terrified and cried the entire time. there were also some fancy extra long sparklers for the big kids and they were such fun, even for the grumpy bear!

the big kids were really in their element enjoying all that mother nature had to offer. no matter what kind of precipitation was falling from the sky, the kids were out in full force. we did have to call them in to dry off and eat every few hours. check out the fancy snow fort below!

here’s a quick slide show of our winter fun!

“Picnik Show“

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

our drive home took an unusual 7 hours due to some weather related difficulties. first we got stuck for an hour on the cottage driveway, which was incredibly frustrating. it had all iced and since we were the last car to leave we had to back up over tons of ice. finally after trying branches, wood blocks, salt, the ashes worked and got us on the road.
then after driving for about 2 hours we hit a major snow storm and had to drive at 30-40km/ph. slow going, but safe i suppose. eventually we got home and quickly went to bed.

looking forward to all sorts of adventures that 2012 has to offer!
my motto or mantra for this year is (stolen from friday night lights):
“clear eyes, strong hearts, can’t lose“.

another year has come and gone… welcome 33.

December 28, 2011 by mama lola

i love my birthday.
i especially love spending it with my boys.

i used to share my birthday with my mummo before she passed away. here’s a picture of our first shared cake and the 66 candles that sat on top; one for me, 65 for her! denzel washington also celebrates his birthday with me. lucky me! or him!

my first birthday as a mama with my sweet bear.

as i enter 33 and 2012 i am hoping life will roll a little more easily and smoothly for myself and my family this year. i feel like we deserve a break from all of the turmoil that has been thrown in our faces in the past two years. i want to discover fantastic adventures with the kids, explore life through their eyes and travel this great land we call home. i would like to return to school and finish what i have started, sooner rather than later.

lion trying on my first pair of specs. he LOVED them!

perhaps with 33 i will discover the fountain of patience. although mothering has been easier this past month or so, i know i will be tested tremendously in the coming year. i want to be so much more than just a “good mother”, but fulfilling those expectations of myself are pretty much impossible. and not just patience with my kids, but more so with myself.
i want to grow more as a person and find who i am again. i am so often only seen as a mother, but i am so much more. but i only have my self to blame for that, i have allowed the other parts of me to disappear under the exhaustion, the busyness and the oh-so predictable routine that has become my life. and not that those things are unpleasant, but they make it difficult to feel free, creative or curious.

********
we are heading up north to bring in the new year with some of our bestest friends! lots of good talkin’, good food and good booze! it looks like there will be snow, so the kids will be delighted to be able to go tobogganing and build snow people and the always popular lumilyhty!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!
see you on the other side.
xo

joulu!

December 26, 2011 by mama lola

wishing everyone a happy holidays!
we are in the midst of our christmas celebrations. last night with my folks, tonight at home, tomorrow with dear hubby’s family. so far santa has been very impressed with the kids and they have received lots of wonderful new toys and books and things!

here are a few pictures from our jouluaatto with my parents. it is tradition in finland to celebrate x-mas on the 24th, so we always enjoy a beautiful meal prepared by my mom. after dinner santa comes and while i was growing up he actually came into our living room and i would sing or dance for him. he then passed out our gifts. for our boys, we always seem to just miss joulupukki, he knocks on the door or window, but by the time we get there he’s gone. luckily however, he has left gifts under the tree for us!