giving thanks & a fall fair.

October 8, 2012 by mama lola

today was the most glorious day. the morning started with frost on the ground and crispness in the air that lingered longer than expected. it was the perfect day to head out on a thanksgiving morning to a local fall fair and have a spontaneous play date with wonderful friends.

it is moments like these where i feel my heart swelling with love and gratitude.

i am thankful for my beautiful children. they are my life.
i am thankful for my dear husband. he is gentle, loving and very cute!
i am thankful for my family and friends, and the love they give.
i am thankful for my health. it ain’t perfect, but i’ve come a long way, baby!

i am thankful for our community. it is a beautiful network of families and neighbours.
i am thankful for our home. sweet peppermint patty keeps us safe, warm and cozy, when it matters most.

i am thankful.

i am very thankful to all of you for your continued support with this blog.
i am thankful for my new readers, returning readers and the comments many of you leave. and hey, don’t forget to check out bear & lion on facebook!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL!
xo, mama lola

holy hoopin’ hoopla!

October 4, 2012 by mama lola

i went to the funnest event yesterday evening with some super funky, interesting and sassy ladies.
i went HOOLA-HOOPING!!!
there is a small local group that has decided to get together weekly (or so) to practise moves and share tricks. and when i say tricks, oh my! tricks include using your neck or something cooler grabbing the hoop while in motion, keeping it in motion and moving it up above your head and then back down. if your curious, you tube is your best research partner!

it was such fun, fun, fun. some of the women have been doing it for a long time, so they have learned to manipulate their bodies in the most awesome ways to control the hoop. it was kinda unbelievable! it’s a new activity that is becoming more popular as an easy way to get exercise without stressing your body (the way running does).

i ordered myself a beginners hoop and am going get my body grooving with it soon! hoops come on all sorts of sizes, weights and colours depending on your taste and ability. bigger means easier to hoop, smaller means you have to exert yourself that much more and faster. those little green ones are speedy!
and look at all the colours! love!
have you ever tried it?
let me know if you’re interested too, i now know where the hook ups are!

happy hooping everyone!

october is brain tumour awareness month.

October 1, 2012 by mama lola

this is a cause close to my heart and my brain. i was diagnosed with a pituitary gland tumour three years ago and had it surgically removed two years ago, this november. to read about how and why it complicated our life go here and here.

even though my tumour was non-malignant, and i am perfectly healthy now (at least in that regard), i feel obligated to spread the word about brain tumours. they are more common than most people think, and with advancements in the medical and technological world, recovery rates are better than ever. it’s all about listening to your body, having a good doctor to relay concerns to and knowing the signs and symptoms of brain tumours.

please spread the word!

HAPPY MONDAY!

we are not farmers.

September 30, 2012 by mama lola

when dear hubby and i were younger, like other couples, we fantasized about the life we would live one day. we spent many hours discussing the possible locations for setting down roots, listing the pro’s and con’s of various countries and cities. like many young people, we had some romantic notions about what it was like to live on a farm, in the country and away from the city. and, that’s what we thought we wanted to do. be small time, micro farmers.

as our lives moved forwards and we had a baby, those dreams changed. first we thought, maybe we could live slightly out of town, straddling the line of town and country, enjoying the perks each has to offer. but then, things changed again when we found out about my tumour and appreciated the convenience of nearby medical facilities. but, having a second child sealed the deal for us; we quickly came to terms with the fact that unfortunately for us, we are not country folk.

[ look at those majestic sunflowers with their heads hanging heavily. ]

living in the country here means you can’t walk places easily and quickly, like schools or the post office or the market. having a farm, even a small one, means it’s difficult to go away for weekend getaways and holidays, as you always need someone to tend to the animals or crops. and asking someone to feed your chickens is very different from pet-sitting your domestic feline friend!

so, we’ve made peace with knowing we will never own llamas or goats or have a large vegetable patch overflowing with fresh produce and flowers. instead, we’ve embraced small city living. When we finally came to the conclusion that city living was the best choice for us, we then had to start the process of looking for a suitable place to live. I loved the idea of being able to live in a spacious apartment, and had even found a few that I liked on SPACE STATION and found myself fantasizing about them most of the time. Unfortunately, this wasn’t on the cards for us and we needed to find a bigger place that would be able to fit all of us with ease. Luckily we managed to find something after months of looking. we have a small veggie garden that produces mediocre food, a flower garden that needs more tending to than i have time or energy for, but at least we have some greenery around us that is ours. our small city is surrounded by all sorts of farms; animal, flower, vegetable, grain of all sorts of sizes, run by all sorts of farmers. which reminds me, one of our best friends is a farmer and has just purchased an exciting new tractor. if you are looking for a new tractor, you can find some amazing options online by searching for fastline tractors for sale in your area.

so, we took advantage of our country neighbours and joined the fun on saturday for a community RURAL ROMP, organized by our local food network. we visited a little micro farm, that looked like a private residence, but once you walked into their back yard, the sights and sounds changed. there were several different kinds of chickens in different coops and lovely shetland sheep, led by tom, the ram. his horns were stunning. and what’s a farm without a dog? they had a lovely canine perfectly named, beauty. she was a gorgeous dog, but her owner told me that she does get a bit nervous around new people so we got to feed her some cbd dog treats to keep her calm and relaxed. to be honest, I didn’t know that you could give animals CBD but after I did a bit of research I realized that CBD products can bring so many benefits to animals. if I was to ever get a puppy, I’d definitely consider giving it some CBD oil if it was ever anxious or in pain. i hate seeing animals suffer. if pet CBD interests you, you can Learn more about it here.

then we headed to another farm, slightly bigger, but still small in the grand scheme of things. they had sheep and pigs. check them out below.

we rounded out our rural romp and farm tours with a visit to a local flower farm. unfortunately, the boys lost their steam and lost their cool and we left quickly so i didn’t get an opportunity to take any pictures. but, the sight of the colourful, stunning fields of various flowers, such as gladiolas, zenia’s, and more, was unbelievable. the farmer was explaining that they are hoping to keep the flowers in the ground for another week, before harvesting them for next weekend, which here in canada, is thanksgiving. and harvesting means, picking all of the flowers by hand! what a big job! fingers crossed for her that the frost holds off.

have you ever wanted to live on a farm?

. . . . .

tomorrow is the start of a new month and the official end of NaBloPoMo, so i’m not sure if i will be blogging daily. we’ll see how inspired i feel, especially as we get involved in more autumn crafts and treats.

. . . . .

HAPPY SUNDAY, EVERYONE!

layers of yummy.

September 12, 2012 by mama lola

don’t you just love smoothies? i’ve been on a bit of a smoothie kick as it’s a great breakfast boost for the kids and the perfect way to get that needed protein into them. especially now that bear is in JK all day! I’ve even gone out and purchased the Best Juicer I could find to create delicious glasses of goodness.

i check the fridge for various fruits bits, veggie chunks and other possible smoothie ingredients. i chuck what i can find into my container and blend away (i just use my immersion hand-held blender). i always make sure i put in flax oil, tofu, unsweetened organic almond milk and some kind of fruit. often i use banana’s, berries, or left over fruit salad chunks. sometimes, i’ll throw in a dollop of plain organic yoghurt or a splash of organic whole cow’s milk. when i was on my cleanse i was encouraged to make smoothies with spinach, so i now i put in big handfuls of the fresh organic green stuff. once i had no spinach so i threw in some kale. the spinach is tasteless when mixed in, but provides awesome nutrition. this smoothie pictured below also has ground flax seeds in it.

i don’t measure anything when making smoothies. i add until i like the colour, consistency or taste. i only use about a 1/4 cup of flax oil and one heaping table spoon of the ground flax seeds.

have fun! enjoy!

do you have favourite smoothie flavour?

quiet day.

September 11, 2012 by mama lola

we are having a quiet home day today. the boys need some peace today.
as do i.

* please check out on the right-side-bar a new facebook button. click and come join the fun with bear & lion on fb!

* also, up top there under the peggy’s cove photo, i added a new tab listing some of my fave blogs out there. now, go do some reading!

[ source ]

peace out.
xo

bear started kindergarten today.

September 6, 2012 by mama lola

today was a big day for our family.

my eldest started school. they have a new system, where they don’t just throw the JK’s into the school and see who sins or swims, instead, they stagger the start days. that means, today bear went on from 12pm until 2pm to meet his teacher, see his classroom and make some new friends. dear hubby, lion and i walked to school with him. as we were walking i was holding back tears, biting my lip and trying desperately to ignore the urge to turn around and run back home with my bear tightly in my arms.

[ leaving the house with a pouty bear and tired lion.]

we arrived at the school to a small group of waiting families. then bear’s teacher called him and some other JK’s to go into her room. so, in we went and almost immediately we were told to quickly say good-bye and leave.
i felt so flustered and tried to give him a kiss; i don’t even remember if i told him i loved him. and then we left, leaving him behind. i rushed out of the school with tears welling up in my eyes, trying to wipe them away without smearing my mascara every where. why i put that stuff on… anyway, i only allowed myself to cry a few little sobs before we walked home. lion fell asleep in the stroller and the three of us we spent a quiet afternoon at home without our bear.

[ a quick good-bye. ]

the house felt empty without bear. he’s not a particularly loud kid, but he has big presence here. he holds his own and makes himself known.
my heart ached as i looked at baby pictures of him, wondering where my little bear had gone. how did four and a half years fly by like that? gone, i swear all i did was blink and swoosh, gone. time has this magic of disappearing into thin air.

the two hours at school passed quickly enough. back at school we met his teacher, madameC, who is lovely. she is friendly and soft, and her demeanour seems like an ideal match for my guy. she remembered bear from the visit the kids had in the spring, the one where he grabbed my leg and cried and wouldn’t let go. today madameC told me with a gentle smile that he didn’t cry at all and that he seemed quite calm. that is reassuring. something i needed to hear.

bear himself was delighted to show us his cubby for his shoes and the corner he tucked his bookbag into. he proudly presented me with the art he had done and excitedly explained that they had even gone outside. as i listened to him, i was honestly so happy for him and so proud, especially since going to JK is a big deal for my anxious little guy. but, and i hate to admit this, deep down inside i was sad that his life was going on without me; that he doesn’t need me quite so much any more; that he’s growing up.

i know it sounds silly, and possibly laughable.
but, as a stay-at-home-mama, letting go of my child and entrusting him to someone else is a big deal. that’s one of the reasons we’re only sending him for three days a week instead of the full five. luckily bear’s teacher madameC and the school principal seem unphased and supportive of our own schedule. i am not willing to completely give him up to the system. others can judge me all they want, but kids are in school all day, five days a week for over a decade. i want to spend as much time with my kids as possible, while i can.

[ looking confident and proud in front of the kindergarten playground. ]

[ walking home.]

maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s self-less, depends who you ask, i suppose.
but, i know what’s best for my kids.

bob marley wants to know if i’m satisfied.

September 5, 2012 by mama lola

today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is from bob marley’s song exodus:

“open your eyes, look within. are you satisfied with the life you’re living“

love bob.

so, am i satisfied with the life i am living? in all honesty there is no one answer to this question. over all, i love my life. are there things i would change? of course. are there things i would never change? absolutely.
and, what is satisfaction exactly? this source says it’s fulfillment and a quality of being. if i look closely at my life, i can honestly say that i am fulfilled in some aspects of my life, but not all. my mothering and nurturing role is one that i am proud of and it fulfills me in a way nothing else does. my children fill me with such love, pride and joy. i drink up their smiles and laughter, and i try to remember those faces during times of difficulty and turmoil. i love being a mama and know that this is the job i am supposed to be doing.

but, i do feel as though the intellectual, curious side of me gets neglected and is therefore unfulfilled. as an adult i loved going to school and learning. i loved working in my field at a women’s shelter. i have always enjoyed challenging and pushing myself into new, unknown territories whether through education, travel or work. or all three combined. that part of my life has been placed on hold temporarily. my plan is to go back and finish my women’s studies degree. but after lion was born and i had my tumour removed, i felt it was time to take time away from school. i did pursue my studies when bear was a baby, and i do see myself returning, but not at this time. not just yet. but, soon.

when i was younger and fantasized about my life it had all the major players i have now. a husband, a couple of kids, a house, a car, but as a kid i never fantasized beyond the materialistic side of life. i didn’t know how and i suppose i was too immature to understand how important that emotional satisfaction is.
sometimes i do feel emotional unfulfilled and dissatisfied. being a SAHM is what i want to be doing, but it comes with it’s own set of cons. i am always repeating myself, wiping faces, wiping a lot of bums, i am always wiping counters, rinsing dishes, folding laundry, driving to somewhere, pushing swings, dumping sand out of shoes, reminding of manners, reminding the boys not hit each other, not to push each other, not to tattle, to think outside the box, and so and so. it’s very UNstimulating for my brain.
that sometimes leaves me feeling sad. overwhelmed. lonely. stupid. limited. unmotivated. isolated.

[ a random beach on the south shore of nova scotia. ]

at the end of the day for me, my satisfaction comes from finding a balance between all of the aspects of my life. when i am in balance, i feel good and satisfied with my life.
i feel fulfilled.
when i step off the line and lose my balance, i feel bad about myself and that negativity is felt by my kids and dear hubby.

i strive for balance.
every day that is my goal.

my body is screaming at me.

September 4, 2012 by mama lola

My left knee has been hurting all day. I put my brace on for extra support, but i know i need more than that. I’ve had knee issues for a while, and they stem back to treeplanting over a decade ago. But, after two pregnancies, two births, carrying my kids, breastfeeding them and all that other stuff that mama’s do for their kids, my body is screaming for attention. And it’s LOUD! And yes, my knee pain is connected to breastfeeding, as all your muscles are somehow joined to each other, as are your nerves. I’ve been hunched over for so long, tightening my shoulders, by back, which has now travelled down to my knee. The knee pain is not new and comes and goes. A friend recommended that to treat the symptoms of my knee pain, I should consider a CBD vape. She then suggested I visit this website to find a vape pen that I could use often so I would have regular pain relief. When starting yoga because of the tightness of my entire body at this point, it was painful to get started. So some CBD could help change that. Now when I get to the Y and yoga regularly it feels better. One of my friends who suffers from knee pain has also recommended this knee compression brace from Amazon to me and I must admit, I’m tempted to give it a try.

[ bear (6.5 months) and i in finland, after we got my finnish citizenship in order. even though i was born there and my mama is a finn, i only held canadian citizenship until 2008. the law was such at the time of my birth, that the child took the father’s citizenship. i was so happy on this afternoon in september 2008 to finally be a finn! now, i can travel with my finnish EU-passport! ]

i went to a highly recommended chiropractor in town, who basically told me that the left side of my body is more messed than my right, but who are we kidding, my whole spine area is a huge ball of messed up mess!
when bear was a baby i carried him in a sling, but was pretty good at switching sides. when lion was a baby, i only carried him on one side. sure, i used the ergo and eventually carried him on my back, but i’ve always been a sling mama, and now that my babies are no longer babies i am really feeling that pain and paying the price of all of that one sided carrying!
my chiro was so kind and reassured me that although my initial scans weren’t great, they weren’t horrific either, and that there is lots of potential to get my body to where it should be. she also sent me for x-rays, as a precaution, especially after my pituitary gland tumour history. her and i will discuss those images on friday.

[ the dudes and i at hillside, 2011 ]

i feel like this year, i have slowly started to harness back some control of my body again. i lost it to my kids years ago and then my tumour, but now i am slowly finding ways to really nurture it again. i was going to the gym regularly in the winter and spring, but completely fell off the wagon in the summer. now, i am ready to get back into that routine as well.

my body is screaming for attention, and finally, i feel like i can give it what it needs.
finally!

how’s your self care?

i am fortunate.

August 31, 2012 by mama lola

i am feeling rather happy in this moment right now.
i often whine and complain, and bitch and vent about the kids and life on here, but today i want to do the complete opposite. i want to send out some love and gratitude to my village.

when bear was a baby, dear hubby was a full-time student and i was new mama, and we were broke. so broke, that it kinda surprises me that we even survived! my in-laws gave us a house to live in, and we managed to get some geico homeowners insurance for it, but it was not in our own city, so we moved half-an hour away. the house was big and happened to be the house dear hubby grew up in, but it was converted into a rental property for students. I can understand why people decide to invest in rental properties as people are always in need of them, especially students. I think if I was to invest in a property, I would make sure that it was a turnkey real estate as that means all you’d have to do is “turn the key” to your property as it will be ready for your residents to move into. How easy? Anyway, we lived (without the students) there for almost two years. and although i am forever grateful to my in-laws for letting us live there so cheaply, i was very unhappy there. i had no community of my own there. i left my MAMA friends and that village of support behind, in order to survive financially. sure, i drove in sometimes to see people, but that was tricky and time consuming.

this is where my g-town lovin’ started!

[ this is my baby group. we would take over a cafe on thursday mornings for much needed coffee and support! look at all the strollers! oh my! so much has changed since this picture was taken. families have moved away, siblings added, various health struggles have come to light, more tattoos have been inked, hair colours changed and some of us have formed tighter friendships within the larger group. but a group we are, and we still hold a bit of a reputation in town, which i discovered last night! lucky ladies! ]

when we bought our house (after a friend had so much luck getting theirs through UpNest) and moved back to our beloved city, i worked hard to re-create and expand my village and community here. now, i have lots of mama friends who expand beyond the baby group. mama’s i’ve scooped up into my network via activities the kids have been involved in.with kids at similar ages of development, who i can turn to for support in times of need. my kids have friends to play with and we have lots of other families to do various fun things with. as a SAHM i find the adult interaction vital to my sanity, and having different people to visit and see is such an important part of our lives.
we are so fortunate to have a village to help raise our boys.
we are so fortunate to be involved in a wonderful community.
especially since bear is starting school in a few weeks, and the transition is going to be tough for this mama!

i want to send a sincere and heartfelt hug to you all.

source

that being said, i do want to also send a shout out to my out-of-town supports as well. you are just as important and necessary to us.
we have enough love for everyone.