bear & lion

here's a peek into the highs and woes of our life

theme thursday :: new school = scarce resources!

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last september bear started school. it is a brand new school, with sparkly new hall ways and classrooms, with kindergarten rooms with their own washrooms. there was an old school there that was demolished and brand spanking new one was rebuilt in a year!

we are very pleased with the school. but, there are some drawbacks of sending your kid to a brand new school. for example, the bigger kids have no playground to play in during recess and lunch. the kindies have a separate yard with simple, natural play structures like logs for balancing on and stumps for climbing on. it’s really nice and the kids love it!


so….


a sub-committee at our school, the green committee took matters into their own hands and purchased the older kids (grades 1-8) some toys and sports equipment to play with. we were given about $2000 and one of the mom’s went out and purchased these beautiful toys for the kids. these pictures are of us labelling and sorting the items. each classroom gets their own mesh bag filled with various lengths of skipping rope, different kinds of sports balls (football, soccer, tennis), hacky sacks, crochet frisbees and other fun items. these bags of equipment are meant for use by the kids during recess and lunch, not for physical education or any curriculum based learning.


look at these beautiful, colourful bags filled with potential excitement and hours of fun! this project shows that is doesn’t take much to make a big difference in the quality of the children’s lies at school! i am so proud of the work done here by women wanting to improve the kids’ time at school; i am honoured to be a part of such strong, intelligent, resourceful and hilarious group of people! 


if you have kids in school, consider helping out. everyone is busy and tired, but these volunteer based committee’s and parent councils are such an important part of the school community. it’s not fair or reasonable to assume that other parents will just get the job done, or leave it up to the stay-at-home parents to organize and plan special events. as with any community, the kids benefit so much when parents are involved, ALL of the kids benefit!

xo, mama lola

hop-hop easter recap.

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easter has come and gone. we had a fantastic weekend, with friends and family, and the sun decided to join us in all its glory, as well! 


we started good friday at home with chocolate filled croissants and an easter table with all sorts  fun, colourful things for the boys to look at.


then we we walked to the park. there is a super fun easter egg hunt that happens at the park up the road from us. we went and joined over a hundred other kids and their families. neighbourhood volunteers had about a thousand easter eggs hidden all over… plastic eggs with all sorts of wonderful treasures hidden inside.


the park is scattered with plastic eggs and the rule is only up to 8 eggs per kid. so, once you’ve collected your loot, then you need to empty your eggs and return them so they can be re-used next easter. check out the dudes below comparing their finds. it’s so funny watching the kids at this event!


we spent the rest of the weekend with my folks. the men and women separated on saturday. the guys went to a huge park in town, and saw llama’s out for a walk with their keepers! my mum and i went to the one of a kind craft sale in the city. it was such a nice time with just my mum, away from the kids and the chaos they bring. 

the sun was so warm on the weekend. we spent hours and hours outside soaking up the rays and the warmth! the boys really loved it! my mum had a beautiful easter table set with delicious food, which we all enjoyed a lot!


our weekend was fun and spring like, filled with so much laughter and joy, that it’s hard to get back into the routine of things!

hope you enjoyed your long weekend!

xo, mama lola

theme thursday :: this years garden ideas!

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although it is actually snowing outside as i type this, i have been busy on pinterest looking for ideas on how to improve our garden. we have a decent sized backyard, but it is quite shaded. this is good for the kids, as they can play and not have to be in the direct hit of the blaring sun, but it is not so good for my tiny, pathetic veggie garden.

so, the plan is to rip out some patio stones next to the wall of the house that gets the most sun and build raised bed for some veggies and flowers. it will probably look a lot like the picture below if all goes according to plan. We can then use the stones in different ways. I got inspired after looking to see some examples of traditional flagstones here, and there’s plenty we can do with them! Anyway, this picture is from flickr, so no instructions, just looks pretty. I hope that our finished product looks like this as it really will help to improve the way our garden looks. After this has been completed, I may decide to enlist the help of somewhere similar to these landscape design services in Torquay to help give the other parts of our garden a much-needed makeover, so that it can be conveniently used by everybody. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with how the garden looks, but I just think that it could do with some updating. There are so many different things that could be done to a garden to improve it, so it’s important to keep an eye on the latest garden trends. Something I have noticed is a growth in the popularity of garden furniture, like the adirondack chairs for sale at The Charming Bench Company, so I’m seriouly considering adding one to my garden once I find the perfect space for it. One of my friends actually got some concrete walls built around her property the other day and that looks really nice. She said that the builders didn’t take long to build the wall, apparently, they just used some chemical for concrete fastening purposes, and the wall was basically done. Apparently, concrete fastners are so important as they keep the wall secure for a longer period of time. That’s good to know, maybe we’ll think about getting a wall for the garden.






But on saying that, this raised bed below is similar and comes with great detailed instructions on how to build it from old town home.


for plant markers, i actually made these last year for some seeds i started. click on the picture to take you to the original post. how cute and easy are they to make!

we have some stone paths and i love way the cracks are filled with thyme and look so soft. i found this picture at scravings, and apparently the thyme fills the air with a wonderful aroma as well!


i love how lush this garden is from simplypix. there must be a flurry of activity with butterflies and insects and birds; my boys would love that!


i love big containers over flowing with greenery and bursts of flowers. daisy’s are some of my favourites. so unpretentious, simple yet a true sign of summer! this picture is from vibedekdesign.


how about using old logs as planters? i think something like this would look great at the cottage! found this idea at the rabbit factory.
i will leave you with this funny, but true sentiment. i actually find gardening very therapeutic. it allows me to lose myself in my thoughts, providing new ways of seeing things and it is another creative outlet for me. i am not a good gardener, but each season i learn a little more! turning the soil with my bare hands and feeling the pulse of the earth in my hands connects me and grounds me. perhaps, that is why am so anxious for spring to arrive, because i feel like i need some garden therapy!


what will you be planting this year in your garden?

happy thursday everyone!
here, check out my pinterest board: grow THIS

xo, mama lola

i stood up for myself.

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since the new year i have been working on getting myself on a better track, emotionally. it’s hard stuff and almost impossible to find the time to, never mind finding the energy to learn how to change some of my bad habits. but, real change is a process and must be given time to develop into the new norm. 

new behaviour always feels uncomfortable to the person trying it out, but also to the people around them. there is an inauthenticity and an insincerity about it initially but, like with anything new, once it’s been experienced enough times the unfamiliar becomes the familiar. 

recently, i have been feeling very out of sorts with some people in my life. there has been incredible tension sitting there between us like a huge pink elephant. when i feel worried or stressed, i carry it physically in my body. so, my neck and shoulders have been incredibly tense and pained for several weeks now. no amount of arnica, heat, vodka or massages from dear hubby were able to relieve the stress.


so, yesterday i did what i never thought i would do.
i stood up for myself. 
i expressed my hurt feelings, i shared my pain and concern and established some clear boundaries. i wrote everything out in a letter and emailed it to several different people and as soon as i had hit send, my pain disappeared. 

my neck felt relaxed, i smiled with ease and that’s when i knew that even though my honesty will hurt others, it needed to be said. standing up for myself (and my family) was the right thing to do. 


now that i have dealt with that part of my life, i can focus on my bear. i have been so distracted by this other mess, been so anxious that i have not been able to mother in a way that i want to. bear and i have been butting heads for several weeks, but i feel now i can give him what he needs.


have you ever had to stand up for yourself? 
how did you feel afterwards?

xo, mama lola

theme thursday : things around my house.

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life has been busy and i didn’t really get the time to prepare a well thought out themed thursday. so, instead i am sharing pictures from my home of items that mean something to us.

when my mummo (grandmother) passed away a few years ago my mum gave me this cup and saucer set. sometimes, i like to drink my afternoon coffee from it and remember her.
we once found a dead grasshopper in our backyard. 

our kids eat their snacks from old wooden salad bowls.

these are birthday bunting flags from lion’s second birthday party.

some greenery.

thanks for stopping by!
happy thursday everyone!

xo, mama lola

anxiety mine or his :: part DEUX

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my bear is now five.
this is where we were last year : part ONE!
and, i am still worrying about his anxiety. it seems to be getting worse on one hand and levelling off on another. his erratic meltdowns are sometimes easy to predict, but sometimes not. but when he does have a break down, it is louder, more extreme and it’s harder to bring him back down. I know from my own experiences with anxiety that he is going through a difficult phase. I have been inclined to use CBD oil UK sourced from Blessed CBD for my own anxiety in the past and I know of a few people who opted to use a metal smoking pipe as a way of getting their dose of medical marijuana (legally) to help manage the symptoms of anxiety effectively. However, I feel this is something that Bear needs to work through without treatment for the time being. as attachment parents, we are very touchy parents. I try to show my love and support by touching the boys often and with meaning. when the kids are upset they are welcome to cuddle in our laps, come sleep with us at night and i try to encourage them to speak openly about their feelings.
but, it’s hard.


here’s what i do know.
bear’s a super sensitive guy. he is sensitive to stimulus, sounds, smells and especially change. he struggles greatly in transitions; when one activity is ending and another one is beginning. i realize that a lot of kids hate transitions, but i sense that bear’s reaction is a bit extreme.

here’s a good example of why i think it’s more than regular kid power struggles or what have you. so, on sunday dear hubby and i decided we would go for a family skate downtown, since it’s still cold enough, so we midas well take advantage of the weather. it was 10am when we started to get the guys moving and by moving i mean, getting them dressed into warm layers. immediately, bear started saying that he didn’t want to go, but we just kept encouraging him to get dressed, get his teeth brushed, because we hoped that once at the rink he would be happy skate.
well, that just got him escalated even more. his volume increased to full blown screams, crying and then physically he was thrashing and kicking as dear hubby tried to hold him. this chaos went on for over half an hour. eventually, i got myself and lion ready and the two of us sat in the car waiting for bear and dear hubby. then at around 11am we arrived at the skating rink. we drove, because of the uncertain nature of bear’s emotional state and it’s only about a 2 minute excursion.

anyhow, long story short. i skated alone, dear hubby went around the rink with lion once, and bear cried and screamed while running next to the rink. it was so awful. embarrassing yes, but awful because here’s my kid who just cannot stop. stop being stubborn, stop and catch his breath, or stop and ______. it feels as though we need to figure out what the missing piece is for him; why can’t he just participate, why does he cry when his friends are at our house, why does he fight back so fiercely?

when we are in these heightened states of emotion (and although it starts with bear, we are all emotionally triggered by him) it feels so extreme. and, as some of you regular readers know, we are in these heightened states pretty often. do i even have to mention summers camps last year… oh, what a disaster they both were! but, as much as i want to help bear i also feel like i have to protect lion in all of this as well. it’s not fair to him that he has to suffer when his brother is panicking, and lion does suffer. we often don’t do things outside the house, because I am worried about how to bear might react.

so, i do think my child suffers from some level of anxiety. and, this week dear hubby and I are going to make some phone calls to see what we can do for him. it’s time. his emotional well being is at stake here and watching him crumble into himself like that is heartbreaking. yes, kids fight with their parents and push boundaries, but the level and frequency at which bear expresses his rawness to me feel too frequent. I know a lot of people with anxiety may choose to visit a dispensary (if the use of medical marijuana is legal) and as there are many benefits that the use of marijuana is said to have on people’s health, I can see why this may be an option. With this being said, I want to get a professional opinion before i make a decision like this.

maybe i’m over reacting.
let’s hope i am.
maybe i just need new parenting tools.
but, i need to know. i need to find out if this is something we need to worry about.

lion’s first skate ever. he barely moved his feet, he mostly enjoyed the ride!


happy hump day folks!

xo, mama lola

a child with a brain tumour.

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a friend of mine has a son with a brain tumour and she wanted to share their story here, as a way to create awareness about brain tumours. please read her story, their story and donate to the spring sprint!
thanks.

* * * * * * * * *
(This post was submitted to bear & lion by a mother of two beautiful children ages four and eighteen months old. She chose to omit identifying information regarding her son and his specific diagnosis because of her son’s young age. She feels that he should have some informed consent when sharing his story.)

be·nign (b-nn)
adj.
1. Of a kind and gentle disposition.
2. Showing gentleness and mildness. See Synonyms at kind1.
3. Tending to exert a beneficial influence; favorable: a policy with benign consequences for the economy. See Synonyms at favorable.
4. Having little or no detrimental effect; harmless: a chemical additive that is environmentally benign.
5. MedicineOf no danger to health; not recurrent or progressive; not malignant: a benign tumor.


My nearly five year old son has a benign tumour growing in his brain, on his pituitary gland to be specific. Thefreedictionary.com and most of society will tell you that a benign tumour is “of no danger to health”. I am here to tell you that there is nothing “benign” about brain tumours.


My son is my first born and it was apparent to me, his mother, that something was not quite right from the time he was six weeks old. He was not smiling when he should have been, holding his head unsupported or making eye contact. His growth was slow despite nursing around the clock and his interest in his environment did not match his same age peers. I discussed my concerns with his pediatrician and was brushed off as a nervous first time mother. My son’s delays continued. He was not able to sit unsupported until he was eight months old, could not crawl until he was 15 months, and took his first steps at 17 months. He spoke his first word at 21 months, “more” and struggled to communicate. His pediatrician again, brushed off these concerns. My little boy had referrals and support from Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, Resource Consultants, Infant Development experts and Speech and Language Pathologists, but no diagnosis. At two years old I demanded action, knowing that something was not right.

We received a referral to a genetics department in a leading pediatric hospital some ways from home. We spent hours discussing my son’s development and growth, and had blood work and x-rays completed. This typically would be done using such equipment as a centrifuge to separate the blood and plasma for testing. We were told that you may need to use this equipment for other blood work, etc. so it was a lot to take in. Nothing was confirmed, no diagnosis was made. Benign brain tumours typically cannot be detected though blood work. We waited and continued our battle to find the cause of my son’s delays. We requested another referral, this time to a Developmental Pediatrician. Another long meeting where development was discussed and concerns with growth were raised. We reviewed all the test results from the genetics department and moved forward with a brain MRI.

My son was two and half years old when he had his first MRI. The results were inconclusive, but it pointed toward an issue with his pituitary gland. It appeared that there was a “dark spot” that would require further investigation. A referral was made to a Pediatric Endocrinologist at another pediatric hospital and our wait for answers continued.

My son started testing for hormone deficiency when he was 3 years old. Multiple trips to a hospital not so close to home for IV’s to be set and blood withdrawn every 30 minutes for hours at a time. Extended fasting tests to evaluate his ability to control his blood sugar levels with blood taken at 30 minute intervals. These tests went on nearly every six weeks for a full year. He failed every test they administered and he started nightly injections when he was four years old. Shortly thereafter he had his second MRI, this time with contrast. A brain tumour was found.
We now had an answer, but no solution. Removing the tumour would mean removing his pituitary gland. He will be followed with regular MRI’s, but at this point surgery is not an option. And even if it was, it would not be a quick fix. The pituitary gland regulates hormones that control growth, not just liner growth, but that of muscles and bones. Muscles for example like the heart, tongue, and limbs.


My son is below the first percentile in both height and weight. That means that over ninety-nine percent of his same age peers are bigger than him. His speech is difficult to understand, most strangers will only pick-out twenty of every hundred words he says. He has difficulty holding a pencil, but has a lofty goal of writing his first name by the time he is in first grade. He continues to have as many as four appointments a week to address his developmental delays.
My son is a bright boy; he is just as smart as his kindergarten friends. He knows he is different. He knows that he struggles in ways his friends do not. He knows that has more professionals involved in his young life then most adults do in a lifetime, and he is tired. He is tired of therapy, he is tired of doctors and the tests they request, and he is tired of being different. He is tired of having to try harder then all his friends. He continues, he fights, and he tries hard every day to reach his potential.

His brain tumour may be benign, but it certainly has an impact on his life and his health. It is definitely dangerous and needs to be addressed and treated. You see, no two brain tumours are alike, and the signs of symptoms in one individual can vary drastically from the next. We have had many therapists, doctors and specialists evaluate our son over the course of four years without a diagnosis. Education and awareness needs to happen in our community today to ensure that other children are not misdiagnosed, and that Mothers are not brushed off as nervous first time parents.

Please help me bring attention to this cause by sponsoring my friends and I, MAMAS AGAINST TUMOURS, in the Spring Sprint. DONATE HERE!
The Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada supports many positive programs in our community including community awareness, support groups, research and information sharing. Lets fight together to support those like my son who are impacted by brain tumours, so they don’t have to fight alone.

* * * * * * * * *

thanks for sharing, mama. it means so much to me that this story is here, maybe it will provide support and inspiration to other’s out there.

xo, mama lola

march break is done and we survived!

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this week was march break in our neck of the woods. we had play dates and activities planned, but i will admit to feeling very overwhelmed through-out the week. the weather has been quite cold and the snow is basically mounds and sheets of ice, which is not fun for playing on. the kids were at each others necks all week, fighting and screaming, with a constant stream of tattling. to add to the tension, one day i even thought i had lost my wedding band, but my suspicions tell me that the boys had something to do with the disappearance, as it was returned promptly within 24 hours. phew. 
it’s been stressful.
it’s been loud.
but, it has also been fun!

one morning we made these cool guys! 
aren’t they hilarious?! check out bear’s grin and glasses! 


i traced the kids on paper. bear was a great at lying still, lion had more difficulty not squirming! i improvised a bit with his outline.


i cut out the silhouette’s and then the kids got to work colouring and stickering them. they had so much fun and were quite independent for most of it.


eventually, i stepped in to keep the momentum going, helping with some of the colouring. in the end “the guys” turned out great and the kids were so proud of them!


this week we also hit the local civic museum for some fun. the kids made juggling balls, played with various “building” toys and materials and then we hit the town for lunch.


it’s as though the kids have been exhausted from being together so much. since september they have gotten used to time apart and separation, thanks to bear starting school in the fall.  

i’ve tried to engage the kids in various crafts and games, but i too have been so tired this week. i’ve been fighting a cold of sorts, but sibling conflict is really wearing me down. i am counting down to school starting again! haha!
poppy has settled in. she has been sleeping and eating mostly, and in the last few days has really started to play with the kids. she also loves to snuggle with them on the couch when they’re watching tv. it’s so sweet!


happy weekend, everyone!

xo, mama lola
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