(back) to school.

August 23, 2012 by mama lola

tick-tock-tick-tock…
that is the sound of time going by too quickly! my kid is starting JK in a matter of weeks and i feel like i am not ready.

he will be getting THIS bag as his backpack from mountain equipment co-op. it’s a bit pricey;

i’m justifying it with the expectation that it will last longer than the cheap ones with various television and movie characters on them. plus, the school is strict about the size of bag and i think it fits their requirements, although it is a bit big for my lil’ bear. If I hadn’t bought this bag for him, I would have probably purchased this personalized photo backpack, not only due to their quality but because of their unique and special addition of having either his or a loved one’s face on it!

For now, though, I told him we could get some patches to decorate and personalize the bag.

we also ordered him a subscription to chirp magazine. i bought him one issue for our road trip and he loved it, and i think it’ll be a great way to make him feel big and special. who doesn’t love receiving mail?

and finally, we ordered some labels for all of his stuff for school. bear is pretty meticulous about his stuff, but he is only four after all and so easily distracted! now i just have to figure what kind of lunch bag to sew him.

this september bear is supposed to attend school full-time, but with the disastrous experience we had with the summer camps, i have decided to only send him three days a week. i think this is more reasonable and c’mon, it’s JK, which is not mandatory in the first place! his anxiety peeks during stress and separation from me, and i think come the holidays we will re-evaluate his attendance at school. maybe he will need more, maybe less.

he obviously doesn’t know yet that he will be attending fewer days than his peers and we will broach that conversation after school starts, i think. i don’t want to plant ideas in his head, i just want to answer his questions. bear has friends who are not attending daily, so it’ll make the discussion easier, i hope.

all of these transitions are so hard.

recovering.

August 12, 2012 by mama lola

we’re home.
finally arrived yesterday just before dinner.
the last couple of days of our road trip were trying to say the least. the kids, especially bear was feeling fatigued. and i get it, so that’s why we got home slightly earlier than planned.

our two week summer roadtrip out to the maritimes was such an adventure and i am so glad we pushed through with such stamina. even when the chips were down with rough weather or fighting siblings in the back seat, we got through it! dear hubby was the coolest of us all, but that’s just the kinda guy he is and anyone who knows him won’t be surprised to hear that! two weeks of just the four of us, all day every day, was a bit demanding at times!

[ Quebec City, Quebec ]

the kids did better in some ways than i had expected, but they did throw some wicked, earth shaking tantrums when i least expected it, as well. the routine of our home life was completely dismantled on this trip, which is the nature of a roadtrip, but that left my two little boys scrambling for regularity at times. plus, throw in a time zone change of an hour and well, as many parents know, time changes can be very stressful for kids.
that being said, dear hubby and i are already planning our next trip! we will take the lessons we learned on this trip and move on new adventures. (i will actually make a detailed list of what i would change in an upcoming post.)

this was our first real holiday as a foursome and what a thrill it was to explore new parts of our vast land with my guys. it was such fun watching them help set up the tent or snuggle close every night as family. although the kids probably wont remember much of this trip. i will and so will dear hubby. for us this trip, was about being a family, being in the moment and being together. I must admit though, as much as camping was a lot of fun, I think next time we would definitely take a caravan with us instead just because it does make life a lot easier and supplies some much needed comfort when everyone just needs to unwind. I’ll be looking at Auto Finance Online to see what deals we can get on a caravan big enough for us all.

[ St. Andrew’s, Nova Scotia ]

today is sunday and we are hunkering down, getting back into the groove of things. the boys are wild with glee as they rediscover their toys and are reintroduced to books left at home. i have been super aggressive about getting our laundry done, and with five loads already washed, folded and put away i am now left with washing three sleeping bags. phew! it’s been kinda wild! dear hubby is airing out our stinky camping stuff and will tend to our tent as it so desperately needs a good soak! and, the car needs a supernclean too. we may just take it in to for a partial detailing, as there is a slight odour lingering. yuck.

[ Random beach on the Atlantic, Nova Scotia ]

i took about 1500 photo’s and feel rather overwhelmed at the thought of editing and sorting them! obviously many of them are not worth keeping or posting, but stay with me as i eventually organize the photo’s into slide shows or something.

and our house. sweet, sweet peppermint patty as we lovingly named her, stood waiting for us when we pulled in the driveay. we arrived to clean floors, cupboards and fresh sheets on the beds, all things i carefully did before our trip. and boy am i glad i did! my garden outside is a bit of a disaster, though. while we were away there was lotsa rain and the weeds have taken over, making the front look very wild and unkempt. I will have to get out there for a few hours and atleast try to tone down the jungle!

[ Peggy’s Cove, Nova Scotia ]

the list of things to do is growing, as we have busy week ahead. Bubba and Patty are getting married next saturday, so we are in full wedding mode now. We all have various responsibilities at the wedding and reception, so not only do we have to look fancy and clean, we have to have our ducks all lined up! Bubba and Patty have been getting their ducks lined up too for this wedding, they want to make sure they have everything done and dusted before the big day. I think they had recently been discussing a possibility of a prenuptial agreement, I’m not too sure, but I know they’ll go for a great law firm to help them walk through it. A friend recommended Family lawyers in Mayfair business – Peters and May as a suggestion, so we’ll see how that goes!

happy to be home.
happy to have watched the closing ceremonies of the london olympics.
happy to see friends tomorrow.
just happy.

bear at camp.

July 27, 2012 by mama lola

bear has been attending a summer day camp this week. leading up to this week i knew the morning drop-offs would be difficult, but i didn’t realize they would be as extreme as they have been.
on monday morning bear was screaming and crying on our way to the car from our house. the few steps it takes to walk to the driveway were stressful and full of “i don’t wanna go’s”. at camp i had to drag him to the school door, while carrying lion and trying to say hello to the camp staff. it was one of those moments where i just wanted to scoop up the kids and run and hide but, since that wasn’t going to happen, i brought bear inside as he was still crying, and tried to introduce him to the terrified looking staff. i tried to get him involved in an activity and i tried to hang up his bag. but he had none of it.

eventually i just left. at his preschool the motto was “a quick good-bye and a long hello”, which worked well there with two educated teachers who expected upset kids in the first few weeks of school. but, this camp is run by a small neighbourhood group, with one adult and a handful of teens running the day to day, who are great, but ill equipped to deal with the anxiety bear presented with.

on monday when i got outside from leaving my screaming bear with a bunch of strangers, i myself, burst into a heavy sob of tears. the whole drop off process was incredibly stressful, upsetting and i was so on edge. i phoned dear hubby and he said he would do the drop off the following day. fine.
then some other mama’s came out and calmed me down and brought me back to reality. gotta love the mama support!!!
at the end of the day at pick up he was delighted to see me and told me had had a great time with his friends. phew! maybe this was going to be ok, i thought.

so, tuesday dear hubby dropped bear off at camp. there was some protesting at home, but really compared to monday it was easy as pie. and apparently at the camp, he was clingy, but didn’t cry and eventually let go of dad.

then on wednesday i was feeling hopeful (silly me) that things would be better as it was my turn to do camp drop off again. but no. bear cried and carried on and on at camp. eventually, again, i left feeling terrible and feeling the weight of the guilt draped over my shoulders and again wanted to run and hide under a rock.
maybe i was all wrong; maybe bear really wasn’t ready for camp and maybe i should have just kept him at home. i hated the looks the other parents were giving me and i hated being labelled “that mom” or “that crying kids mom”. not that anyone was saying anything bad, but when your kid is the only one freaking out, it just kinda happens!

today, thursday, the plan at camp was to take the kids on a city bus to the art factory (where we went with friends, see pics HERE). bear was super excited about going on a bus and since it was dear hubby’s turn to do drop off again, i sat at home waiting anxiously to hear what happened. when dear hubby phoned, he said in a very smug voice that there were no tears and no clingyness and bear was fine. i was so relieved to hear my guy was fine, but was so mad at dear hubby for his smug tone on the phone. i ended the call quickly! ha!

tomorrow is bear’s last day of camp and he sounds pretty excited about going. he is happy he gets to bring home the tie dye pillow case he made, the fish he crafted and who knows what else! i am glad the camp week is coming to a close, because the stress of it has been too much for me!
phew. we survived, but barely.
serenity now.

i have no pictures from this week. i wanted to get pictures from camp, but for obvious reasons was not able to get my camera out. so it goes.

peace.

summer fun!

July 19, 2012 by mama lola

this summer has been pretty busy for us. i have tried to fill our days with a mixture of friends and playdates with extreme outdoor adventures with lazy days at home. so far, i think things have balanced out pretty well.

my kids are not the go+go+go types. they can go one day, but will need a day or so to recuperate, especially during these few super hot summer days we’ve been experiencing lately. it must be genetic as, dear hubby and i are the same!

yesterday we drove into the big city and went to harbourfront with my mum. the kids basically ran the entire time, even though the sun was hot, but they just loved the freedom and the space. we enjoyed the time by the lake admiring tall ships, various motor boats, but also by checking out some interesting contemporary art at the power plant. bear later said, that looking at the art was his favourite part of the day!

one of my favourite parts about mothering is exposing my kids to new experiences. the boys have been to a few different galleries and art shows in their time. talking to them about what they see or feel when they looking at art is always such fun. art is always powerful.

i hope when my kids are grown they look back at their childhoods as a time of fun and excitement. i hope they recognize the efforts we are making now to create family experiences that are well rounded and full. dear hubby and i are trying to be the best we can with what we know and what we have. sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s enough, other times it feels like plenty.

today is a down home day.
the boys are now into their playdoh and later we will head to the library. then we will hopefully watch the long over due rain.

kid’s are worth it!

July 14, 2012 by mama lola

i’m reading this amazing parenting book right now, by barbara coloroso called kids are worth it. i may have talked about this book before, but i’m reading it and have been having some pretty serious (as oprah would say) A-HA moments.

the kids and i have been on a pretty smooth groove recently (knock on wood), but i think this is the perfect time to be learning about how to be a more consistent parent. coloroso’s ideas and suggestions realistically are nothing new, but she really emphasizes parenting in a way that does not attack or minimize a child’s dignity, but instead supports mutual respect. as followers of the attachment parenting philosophy, coloroso’s suggestions go right along with those values.

she is strongly opposed to rewards and bribery, which i know is way of parenting we’ve all fallen back on. i know we have. but, when she delves into why it’s not an effective way to parent, it has made me tweak my methods at home.

for example, lion is potty training and has pooped and peed in the potty without any incentives other than a few kind praises from us and cheer or two. he has not received any candy or stickers or treats of any kind. he’s learning to use the potty without bribery or rewards; so different from how bear learned. it’s been an easier process, one with less power struggles and fighting, he’s doing it, because he realizes it’s time to learn. we have walked by the potty only to discover it has pee in it, which means lion (who turned two on sunday) has been going independently!

i am also trying to teach bear that some things he has to do, for the only reason that it just has to be done. things like tidying up toys or other messes, doing things to help out when asked; there are no rewards, no treats, no gushing mama showering him with empty compliments. and it too is working. it’s kind of amazing!

i would recommend this book to all parents. doesn’t matter if you follow attachment parenting or not. we all sometimes need to be inspired on this rocky road of parenting!

*****
saw this lovely sun dial at the university’s arboretum.

we’re going camping today. looking forward to it and counting down to take off!
what are you up to this weekend?

ballet camp was a disaster.

July 8, 2012 by mama lola

my eldest guy is a tad on the what the experts call the sensitive side of things. he has difficulty during transitions and has great difficulty separating from me, especially when an activity is new. like preschool or as we experienced last week, ballet camp.

each morning as i was trying keep the ball rolling, getting the two boys ready for the day, bear would shout “i hate ballet camp, i never want to go”. he was in fact shouting and crying this on the first morning, before he had ever stepped foot into ballet camp. i signed him up for dance camp at the same school he has been taking weekly ballet lessons for the last year, in the hopes that he wouldn’t feel anxious or stressed. he also went with a very good friend of his, which i thought would make the process easier.
but, boy did i miscalculate things and boy did it all backfire in my face!

on the first day the ballet teacher phone and left a worried message. and each day we chatted about when he cried and what calmed him down. he was fine during the actual dancing parts, but became upset during craft, snack and whatever else they did.

the class did an interpretation of “sleeping beauty” and seeing as bear was the only boy in the class, he was the prince. but in this version, the prince was a bit of a grump and a meany and stomped around a fair bit pointing wands and swords in various directions. the girls on the other hand were given opportunities to dance freely with sparkly fairy wings and my guy had to stand there and watch.
i think this was a part of the problem. he was isolated from the rest of the class because he is a boy, and this upset him. but, i’m just guessing. who knows anything with four year olds!

this terrible experience at camp creates tremendous stress in the pit of my stomach, because it makes me think of september and when he will start school. and where we live, kindergarten is all day, every day.

*******
we had a lovely birthday for our ferocious lion, today. it was such fun to celebrate with our family and friends! bear has been receiving lots of special, focused attention because he graduated preschool had grandparents watch at ballet a few weeks back, so this morning he threw a fit of jealous rage threatening to “ruin lion’s party”, yikes! he of course didn’t and was a delightful big brother helping open gifts!
i will post about the party soon!

this mama is tumour free!

July 5, 2012 by mama lola

i had my long awaited follow up in the big city with my neurosurgeon and endochronologist, about the tumour that was removed from my non-malignant pituitary gland 18 months ago. i have been symptom free, but i have been closely monitored, having MRI’s and blood work every six months. leading up to this last appointment the tension was building in my body with muscles tightening in my neck, shoulders and jaw. i have also been pretty tightly wound and have lost my cool faster and easier than usual, but it’s understandable, right? perhaps i am allowed to have some leeway.

anyhow, all is clear and my specialists gave us the all clear to have more babies, which is to say that now we can at least talk about it from the same perspective as other parents considering to grow their families. now, we don’t have to worry about another tumour growing, because the two are not related.
phew.
lion’s conception and the high risk pregnancy and the disastrous c-section that followed were all an unfortunate coincidence indirectly connected to the tumour. but, even though the process of getting our sweet, spunky lion here was so stressful, his presence has made our family so much brighter and fuller.

[ yesterday was hottest day EVER, so after the docs dear hubby and i walked around some cute areas of town. got some fancy smoothies to help cool down. yum!]

which brings me to, my littlest guy is turning two on the 8th of july, which is sunday. and although his birthday brings with it upsetting memories of his birth and week hospital stay, i feel incredibly fortunate that we are able to celebrate two wonderful, healthy years of him. his personality and character are so passionate and spunky, he really is meant to be here with us, even if he was a surprise.
i love him so deeply.

i will post more about him, his birthday and where my emotions fit in with it all.

went for a celebratory drinks and dinner double-date with our dear friends in the big city. it was the hottest day ever, but who notices the dripping sweat when your among good friends! we had such a lovely time sans kids, which is something we never do. it was refreshing and allowed our friends to maintain the nasty habit they rediscovered a few weeks ago on their trip to the amalfi coast in italy. yuck!

my lovely, dear friend has big birthday coming up.

love her so!

it’s a busy, busy few days with prep for various parties.

loving the busy, fun, happy summer thus far!

last days of preschool!

June 22, 2012 by mama lola

just a quick post tonight.

today was bear’s last day at his preschool. tomorrow is his graduation.
i am feeling such a mix of bittersweet emotions; sad that my guy is growing up so quickly and needing me less, but yet so happy and proud that he is growing up into a lovely, sweet little person. he of course is confused that he will never have his teachers as teachers or play with his buddies in that environment again.

here he sits. the top pictures are of him this morning at the school doors, and the bottom two were taken in september on the first day of preschool. the shoes he’s wearing there don’t really fit anymore, and doesn’t the hat look smaller in the top pics? maybe i’m not seeing things very clearly as my eyes are so blurred with tears…

i will post more pics tomorrow from grad.
not sure if i should wear mascara, might be too much of mess with all the crying and sobbing i will do!

a jimmy fallon video!

June 14, 2012 by mama lola

here is jimmy fallon (SNL grad), the roots (love ’em and have for years!) and carly rae jepson (not sure who she is), getting their jam on using classroom instruments! this video instantly made me smile! what fun!

well, it is the most perfect day out there. bright blue skies, not a cloud in sight, no humidity and a breeze to make it feel even more perfect! the kids have turned into nudie summer babes, running around the backyard in their nakedness, painting or doing chalk art. they are so stinkin’ adorable.

we have been in the throws of father’s day preps and i will post pictures of the final projects, so as not to spoil the surprise for anyone! bear knows all about dear hubby’s gift, but also fully understands that it’s a secret and explained to his dad that he can’t talk about it. whew!

time to go play!

enjoy your thursday!

what are you up to today?

maternity leave bye-bye’s.

June 13, 2012 by mama lola

it’s always hard to say ~~good-bye,~~ or more accurately see you later to friends when their maternity leaves come to an end and they head back to their jobs outside the home. another MAMA friend of ours went back to work at her office this week and i am left to explain to bear why he can’t see his friends as often.
we’re going to miss you MAMA j, you’re AWESOME!

it’s tough.
it’s hard, because my kids have no idea what day care is. it’s tough because my kids miss their friends and i miss mine, and we lose the weekly play date routines we have established over the past year or so. it’s so different being a stay-at-home-parent and being a stay-at-home-kid.

and finally,

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MISSe!!!

our lovely, little friend has grown into a smiley, intelligent, observant, hilarious, and loving little lady. every gal needs her own boat and sand toys! missE loved the toys and gave us her chewy, drooly approval!

i’m leaving you on this hump day with a plank off! it was a competition between dear hubby and MAMA j to see who could hold a plank the longest or at least a minute. missK was judging form and ensuring there was no cheating!